Memory Board
BOOK / A novel about aging, loss & family
Jane Rule / National / Thursday, November 29, 2007
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Jane Rule's 1987 novel is the story, set in Vancouver, of the irascible Diana and her longtime lover Constance whose memory is failing. Diana's twin brother David struggles to rebuild a connection with his sister after keeping her existence secret from his wife and children. Memory Board is published by Bella Books (excerpt reprinted with permission).

To change the direction of her thoughts, Diana stopped, leaned on her cane and deliberately looked about her at the human attempts to transplant an eastern autumn to this temperate evergreen and alder shore. In every yard at least one bush or tree was in the process of scarlet dying, giving the lie to human expectations. The alder might be good for nothing but firewood, yet its long, dull, shabby shedding which went on from October until the end of the year was in keeping with much more of human experience. The flameout of accident or trauma was for old grumps like Houseman to romanticize.

She found Constance in the back garden, stymied, her memory board in hand. Some days she could occupy herself for hours. On other days she was like a child's toy, needing to be wound up every few minutes, set in a direction which couldn't be changed, stopped only by whatever was in its path.

Her relief, when she saw Dianna, lit her dark eyes, opened her smile to her white and perfect teeth, opened her arms wide and welcoming.

"Ah, you're a lovely woman," Diana said.

"I feel more like a dog," Constance said. "If only I had nothing to do but be interested in by bodily functions, distracted into barking by anything that moved, into wagging my tail at any sight of you, I'd be fine. But by the look in your face, I can see that more is expected of me."

"Would you like to come in the car while I go shopping?"

"That's a good doggy thing to do. Leave me a crack of air and I'll growl at strangers."

Self-disparaging jokes were part of the hard days, and Diana had learned not to protest against them because they were one of Constance's weapons against falling into stupefied depression or further still into a past she couldn't find her way out of.

Diana kept Constance with her through the day, glad that her own life could be suspended in this way any time Constance needed her. They were practiced now in good diversions. Music was better than reading aloud, for Constance couldn't hold a storyline or argument in her head for long, but themes in music repeated themselves, and, even when they couldn't serve to remind her of what had gone before, they had immediate as well as consequential meaning. Card games gave Diana too great an advantage, but they could work at jigsaw puzzles contentedly for hours. There were certain walks they had taken often enough, along the beach, out in the university grant lands, which didn't confuse Constance, but Diana's increasing lameness made those shorter and shorter pleasures.

Often in the evening Diana would begin, "I'd like to remember something for you."

The invitation sometimes triggered simple questions from Constance.

"How old am I?"

"Sixty-seven."

"That old? You're not that old."

"I'm 65."

"We're old women. What colour did my hair used to be?"

"Black, like your eyes, but it turned early, before you were 40."

"I've always lived with you."

"Since you were 25 and I was 21."

"Always just the two of us," Constance said.

"No, once there were three of us."

"Three?"

"Jill Carlysle. You can remember Jill."

"Jill," Constance repeated, and then she smiled.


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