UPDATE: YMCA suspends man's membership
HOMOPHOBIA / Y's initial response unacceptable, members say
Jeremy Hainsworth / Vancouver / Friday, November 09, 2012
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Monday, Nov 12

After 48 hours of public outrage in the twittersphere, the vice-president of membership of the Robert Lee YMCA on Burrard Street posted "an important message to our community" on the YMCA's website late Friday, Nov 9.

It reads:

An incident occurred between two of our members at the Robert Lee YMCA this week in which one member made homophobic and threatening remarks to the other member.

A formal criminal complaint has been made to the Vancouver Police Department. The membership of the individual in question has been suspended.

The YMCA takes this incident very seriously. We are working with other community partners, including our local MLA's office and QMUNITY, to be a part of the solution to address discrimination and homophobia.

The Y acknowledges that the initial way in which we handled this situation has caused anger, frustration and hurt for those involved and members of our community. We are sorry and wish we did better.

The Y works hard everyday to be a safe place for all. While this incident is regrettable, we value the diversity of our community and believe that by working together, we can build a stronger, more inclusive society.

Sincerely,

Simon Adams
Vice President Membership
YMCA of Greater Vancouver



Friday, Nov 9

Several gay men are threatening to cancel their YMCA memberships over management’s handling of a member who allegedly threatened a gay man twice.

"I want to go to the gym and feel safe," says Aaron Poirier, who suspended his membership after being threatened.

Poirier tells Xtra he was getting dressed at the Robert Lee YMCA in downtown Vancouver on Nov 3 when a man began leaving his things all over the area.

Poirier asked the man if that was necessary.

"He said, 'You better watch out or I'm going to crack you. You listen, you fag, I'll crack you,'" Poirier, 36, alleges.

Aaron Poirier is shocked that the YMCA in downtown Vancouver hasn't expelled the man who threatened him.
(Nathaniel Christopher photo)
Poirier says he got a manager, who confronted the man.

"He denied it," Poirier says, adding that the manager took a statement from him and that the man continued to act aggressively as he was leaving.

The following day, Poirier returned with his partner, Olivier Ferlatte, 32. They went to the far end of the change room. The man was there again and began shouting, Poirier says.

"Hey, you going to call the big boss?" Poirier alleges the man said.

When Poirier asked the man what he said, he repeated it, Poirier alleges. At that point, a YMCA staff member came in to defuse the situation.

It didn’t work. Poirier says the threats escalated.

"He doesn't know what he's got coming," Poirier alleges the man said. "He doesn't know what he's getting into."

Poirier says he again met with a manager. "I said he threatened me twice. Once, he very explicitly said he was going to punch me."

Ferlatte tweeted about the incident a few days later.

"My boyfriend was called a fag. Threaten twice by the same guy in the change room. Y management will do nothing," the gay men's health advocate tweeted on Nov 7.

"The YMCA refuses to revoke his membership despite threats being done on two different days, in front of staff. Be safe!" Ferlatte tweeted.

YMCA of Greater Vancouver spokesperson Kelly Walker says staff met with both men after "an argument occurred" on the Nov 3 weekend.

She confirms that "a derogatory term was used."

"The Y met with both men and communicated that aggression and discrimination was unacceptable," Walker says.

She calls the incident “regrettable and unacceptable" but says it is "an opportunity to teach the individual in question about appropriate behaviour and acceptance of all people regardless of their sexual orientation.”

"The member in question apologized to the Y and assured us this would not happen again," Walker says. "There is now a letter in this member's file. This member has been notified if there is another incident like this again, their membership will be suspended."

She acknowledges that Robert Lee YMCA (located just blocks from the gay village) has a significant number of gay members and says the YMCA values diversity.

"We take matters like this very seriously," she says.

Poirier isn't so sure. He says the YMCA does not appear to have any policy on dealing with threats or violence.

Poirier is director of human resources for Hostelling International in Vancouver. He's shocked the YMCA doesn't have written policies on such issues. And he's expressed his concerns to the local YMCA vice-president, he says.

He believes that if the incident were racially motivated, the YMCA response would be different.

"It's just shocking," he says. "Would they be talking about a second chance?"

Ferlatte agrees. He has suspended his membership and urges others to do the same until the YMCA addresses safety issues for gay members.
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Paul Nixey says he's been a member of the YMCA since 2005 and is "extremely concerned" about how the situation was reportedly handled.

"Most gay men understand that homophobia is still a major issue in Vancouver, but the true test of an organization is how they respond when incidents like this are brought to their attention," Nixey says. "Based on what I've heard, the YMCA has failed this test miserably."

Nixey says the YMCA's initial response on Twitter amounted to "We understand your frustration" followed by "We want Y experiences to be positive for everyone."

"These answers are not good enough when dealing with threats of homophobic violence," Nixey says, questioning why the police were not immediately called.

Poirier says he has since called the police.

"The YMCA should own up to its mistake in handling this, apologize immediately and expel the member who threatened violence," Nixey says. "'We had a word with him' won't cut it."

He says characterizing threats as an argument makes him wonder if the YMCA is connected to the community.

"Diversity is more than just a catch phrase printed on some poster," Nixey says. "If they have a zero tolerance policy for threatening language and homophobia, why are they tolerating this homophobic bullying? Am I considering working out elsewhere? Of course. Should gay YMCA members demand better from our gym? Absolutely."




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Reader Comments


 
lame
I don't understand why the YMCA feels that it has the responsibility, or that it is even the kind of institution that has the capacity "to teach the individual in question about appropriate behaviour and acceptance of all people regardless of their sexual orientation." Gawd! Can we get any more paternalistic? I doubt the Y is going to be able to change this person's behaviour with their hands-on-their-hips, finger wagging, letter writing disciplinary style. Not revoking the aggressor's membership is tantamount to sanctioning it. The Y needs to act in the interest and safety of ALL its members. Not just the homophobic ones!
Alex, Vancouver BC
11/09/12 4:49 PM EST
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Vancouver is a homophobic shithole
Glad to be done with it.
Todd, Toronto ON
11/09/12 6:06 PM EST
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Can I get a witness
Certainly, threats should never be tolerated. But, this was never more than two incidents that were someone's word against another. The Y staff never witnessed the man being hostile. If there are any other Y members OTHER than Poirier's boyfriend that can come forward as a witness, then the Y would have a little more leverage to suspend the man's membership. As wrong as the "offender" was to use language like that and allegedly make threats, maybe this is a lesson to Poirier and others to mind their own business when in a public place. It wasn't HIS house this other man was leaving his stuff everywhere. And it really wasn't his place to make any comments about the man leaving his stuff all over the place. He really should've only reported the man being messy to the Y staff and left it at that in the first place.
LolaS, Indiana USA
11/09/12 6:29 PM EST
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Deja Vu
This same thing happened to me at the Y back in the early 2000s after I told a guy in the locker room that I didn't appreciate him loudly and offensively voicing his opinion on gay marriage. He threatened me with violence, just like in Aaron's case. The police were more helpful and sympathetic than the Y and actually went to the guy's home to question him. The Y gave the guy a warning and felt that was sufficient. I cancelled my membership and never went back. It's a shame. More than 10 years later they have a shiny new building but, it seems, the same clueless attitude towards homophobia.
Blair, Vancouver BC
11/09/12 7:27 PM EST
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Blaming the victim
@LolaS from Indiana. I suggest rereading the article. The staff most definitely witnessed the second hostile incident. They even confirmed a derogatory term was used. As for your 'blame the victim' line of reasoning, are you really defending threats of violence as an appropriate response to this situation?
Mark, Vancouver BC
11/09/12 10:18 PM EST
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Umm, really?
Something doesn't ring true with this story. First, I find it hard to believe that Poirier innocently asked the man if it was necessary to leave his things all over the area. More likely than not, the comment was accompanied by an attitude. The last thing a person should do when faced with someone who seems unhinged is to engage in dialogue with him, particularly over something so trivial. Second, if I felt my life were in danger, I would leave the facility in question and immediately report the incident to the police, not run to the media. More importantly, I certainly wouldn't return to the same facility unless I knew the alleged aggressor was no longer a member. Third, I would never publicize my name, my boyfriend's name, and my photo in every rag in town. There's no way I'd want the person who threatened me to know my identity, unless I had no choice but to report the incident to police. I'm surprised that Poirier didn't publicize his address and phone number, too. Finally, I'm really annoyed that incidents like this are deemed serious when they happen to well-known men in the gay scene. These incidents happen much more frequently, but people don't care as much because the victims aren't popular (not to mention white and young).
John, Vancouver BC
11/09/12 10:31 PM EST
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Not Surprising
I used to work for the YMCA for two years, and am not surprised at all with their response. Everything gets a slap on the wrist there, even among incidents between staff. I was a lower supervisor, and I asked an individual I supervised to do some small task. She yelled, "No, go away" and shoved me, in front of a gymnasium full of children, parents, and other staff, so hard I nearly fell to the ground. I was humiliated. She later claimed to be having a "bad day", even though there had been ongoing issues with her. I went immediately to my supervisor, who did nothing but put a letter on her file, and force her to apologize to me like we were in kindergarten. Other occasions when staff should have been disciplined harshly or fired immediately, they have gotten a written warning. This is a large reason why I left the organization, and have not been back since.
Anonymous, Alberta Alberta
11/10/12 9:37 AM EST
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YMCA damage control
After Kelly Walker, YMCA Manager, Communications, made those unfortunate comments in the "Met" paper, Simon Adams published the following comment on the YMCA Vancouver Homepage: MESSAGE TO YMCA MEMBERS AND OUR COMMUNITY An incident occurred between two of our members at the Robert Lee YMCA this week in which one member made homophobic and threatening remarks to the other member. A formal criminal complaint has been made to the Vancouver Police Department. The membership of the individual in question has been suspended. The YMCA takes this incident very seriously. We have reached out to other community partners, including our local MLA's office and QMUNITY and will be working with them to be a part of the solution to address discrimination and homophobia. The YMCA wishes to extend an apology to those individuals in the community that believe the YMCA has not responded well to this incident. The YMCA remains committed to strengthening the foundations of community. Sincerely, Simon Adams Vice President Membership YMCA of Greater Vancouver It seems that this "notice to the community" has now been pulled down.
Brydon, Vancouver B. C.
11/10/12 4:18 PM EST
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JUST Suspended ?
His membership has been "suspended". Suspended ? Really ? Just Suspended ? How about CANCELLED ? So the YMCA will eventually allow this suspended member back into their facility ? You're kidding, right ? If I ran a gym (or anything else for that matter) and a member / customer threatened another member / customer, they'd be asked to leave and not ever be allowed to return. I have heard that because the YMCA has a large number of members that either pay a discounted rate or even nothing at all, they are very reluctant to terminate a membership because they need all the money they can bring in to cover operating costs & overhead. Not sure if that is true, but I do know that they don't turn anyone away that wants to use their facilities regardless of their ability to pay monthly dues. I guess money trumps the safety of some of their members. I was once a new member of the Burrard street Y and after just 5 months being a member, they informed me that my monthly dues would be increased. I hadn't even been there a full year at that point ! Needles to say, I terminated my membership and signed up at another gym.
Taylor, Vancouver BC
11/11/12 2:44 AM EST
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OH GREAT WORK Y???
They only decided to suspend this homophobic danger!!! AFTER the VICTIM went to the police! Kelly should be fired-I'm shocked that the YMCA was trying to teach people how to behave-It was almost funny the statement......Kelly obviously is NOT qualified to HANDLE any thing more than showing people around the Gym on tours!!!! The YMCA back tracked pretty quick because of public outcry loss of memberships ect ect!!!! KELLY GO WORK AT A SPA LADY there in ALBERTA!!!
Greg, Vancouver bc
11/12/12 3:50 PM EST
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No surprise
I witnessed a similar event at the YMCA in Toronto. Staff we're dismissive and the perpetrator walked away. The irony was that the jerk in question was black, and had anyone called him the N word, they would have been kicked out of the YMCA that very moment. You quickly learn that diversity does not include gays.
R B Foster, Toronto ON
11/13/12 9:51 PM EST
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Bad Behaviour
This story is unfortunate. One would hope that more sensitive vocabulary could have been used in such an encounter. I wonder if it is worth it to note that it is difficult to shower at certain fitness facilities due to the sexual behavior of some there. I go to some places and have witnessed countless examples of this. I wish this would be brought up from time to time as well. It is practices like this that brings a lot of non acceptance from others.
Dave, Vancouver BC
11/15/12 2:02 PM EST
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no big deal
as a gay south asian person in ottawa, I was threatened last month by a gay couple who are filled with hate towards asians and other ethinic minorities in the gym ie the defacto nation chain that promises the goodlife. I was working with on a bench doing my dubmell routine, when this gay couple walked in and one of the looked at me and said out loud, they tend to be very territorial. the other guy who i remember from a gay book club, felt embarssed as he recognized me, but to the gay guy who made the racist comments, I was just a south asian to be mistreated. Aaron Poirier's comment that the YMCA staff takes racist comments more seriously than homphobic ones has started me thinking. In the same gym, where I was threatened by the gay couple, the black staff had been going around making xenophobic comments while I was working out!!!! so I know that odd situations that he describes are possible! Inspite of repeated complains to the management of this gym , the company refuesd to take any action. I am glad that YMCA has upheld its christian character and displayed chrsitian values in suspending the member who went around making homophobic threats. Kudos to the christian YMCA and christian values of justice and equality.
gmale, Ottawa ON
11/16/12 3:58 PM EST
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Racism vs homophobia?
I am so tired of hearing about racist gay attitudes and homophobic attitudes from ethnic minorities. GLTBQ and ethnic minorities, you would think, would have learned by now that we're all in this together. Racism in the GLTBQ community and homophobia in ethnic minority groups is absurd and intellectually insulting. Some in the black community in the US are finally starting to confront the homophobia of some of its members (thanks to the examples of President Obama and the good work of numerous black ministers) and it's way past time for the GLTBQ community to confront the racism of some of its members as well. "Divide and conquer" is the universal tactic of all bigots and fascists. "First they came for the communists, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist. Then they came for the socialists, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a socialist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me." Pastor Martin Niemoller - Germany, 1945
David Myers, Vanvouver B.C.
11/16/12 7:53 PM EST
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more tiring to be at the recieving end of hate
I made it a point of focussing on the homophobic attitude of the blacks and yes it is not gay white men alone who are bigotted. if gay whites are hardcore racists, there is shocking amounts of homophobia in the gay community both in the US and canada as well as in Africa. The rising state sponsored crimes against gay people can no longer be denied. if there is homophobia in the black community in the US, there seems to be shocking amounts of xenophobia here in canada in both the black and gay community! if we are all in this together how come ethinic cultural and social rights are being de facto thrown away in a de-juro multi cultural state and law abiding society such as Canada. Given my experience with the national gym here and their refusal to do anything about the explicit xenophobia by the blacks and gays and implied homophobia, I am glad that christian institutions such as the YMCA have stood up for christian values and exhibited christian character and action!
gmale, Ottawa ON
11/17/12 1:46 PM EST
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