I’ve been doing Picks of the Week for an entire year now, and there’s one question that I’ve always been afraid to investigate until now. Do vampires give the best blowjobs? I thought I would never find out.

Enter Fleshjack, maker of the Fleshlight.

It has come out with Count Cockula, a beer can with a vampire mouth made of fleshy silicone on one end that you can stick your penis into. The fangs may not be real, but if I close my eyes and really imagine, I’m sure it will feel like Robert Pattinson is going down on me.

Happy one year anniversary to me.