WWII vet & gay bar owner dies at 94
PROUD LIFE / Bob Grimson, 1916-2011
James Dubro / Toronto / Wednesday, February 16, 2011
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Bob Grimson, who owned Quest — a popular gay piano bar on Yonge St in 1969/1970 — died on Feb 9. He was 94.

Grimson was a lifelong friend, mentor and confidant of Barn founder Janko Naglic and even testified in the sensational murder trial of Naglic’s lover, Ivan Mendez-Romero.

Grimson was born in Ireland in 1916 to Jewish-Russian parents. The family moved to Toronto in 1928. On arriving by train from Halifax in a snowy Toronto his mother jokingly told the 11-year-old that his “father has brought us back to Russia.”

As a young man, Grimson served in Europe during World War II. In 2004, he appeared in the National Film Board documentary Open Secrets, in which he discussed the difficulty of being gay in the RCAF.

Grimson told me that he had “one of the gayest times of his life” while a lieutenant in wartime England, Italy and North Africa since many fellow soldiers were into casual gay sex.

While in the Canadian forces in England, he adjudicated the dismissal of one of his fellow soldiers who was revealed to be gay. With his fellow officers, Lieutenant Grimson voted for the man’s dismissal, a decision he came to regret.

Grimson was a very successful businessman and entrepreneur. He made his fortune by starting an instant printing business in Toronto in the ’50s, which he sold in the late 1960s. He invested in stocks, and profits from these investments allowed him to be financially comfortable for the rest of his long life.

He was vacationing in Mexico in 1973 with gay activist lawyer and Club bathhouse founder Peter Maloney when he became rich. “He and I enjoyed the company of several young Mexican men in various parts of the country. Then one day his shares went through the roof and he told me he had just become a millionaire,” says Maloney.
 
James Dubro and Bob Grimson.
(Jon Lidolt)


Grimson also owned a coffee house in Yorkville during the hippie era of the ’60s.

In 1969, as owner of Quest, he hired a young Janko Naglic (recently arrived from his native Slovenia) as a bookkeeper and then as a bartender there. During this period, Grimson taught Naglic the ropes of running a gay business. With Grimson's guidance, Naglic eventually opened Les Cavaliers and The Barn (at Church and McGill streets) after leaving Quest in the early ’70s.

Naglic went on to become a gay entrepreneurial legend before he was murdered in October 2004. (He was found bound and duct-taped and dead of asphyxiation in his home.)

At the murder trial, Grimson testified that Naglic had come unexpectedly to his house on the evening of his death to confide that his life was in danger and seek his advice on what to do about it. Grimson was the last known person except the killer to see Naglic alive. Grimson grimly explained his final conversation in testimony at the murder trial.

“[Janko] was worried about being attacked and about his life... and if there would be any of it at all.”

Grimson advised Naglic to have his lover move out and to change the locks. (After deliberating for a little over three hours the jury found Ivan Mendez-Romero not guilty of the Naglic murder.)

During his testimony, the cops, Crown and defence attorneys treated him with kid gloves as a frail senior citizen. Afterwards, he and I went for lunch, zooming away from the court building in his red Toyota Celica sports car, which he drove into his 91st year.

Grimson befriended and mentored many, including a young Peter Maloney, who with Grimson’s connections helped open the Club Toronto bathhouse on Mutual St. He also became a lifelong friend of gay activist George Hislop, whom Grimson once told me he met “when George was still chicken — an attractive 16-year-old lad at the time.”
 
Another friend was champion figure skater Toller Cranston, who Grimson helped get his start in the art world. Alan Schwartz, Grimson’s nephew, tells a funny anecdote about Grimson's friendship with Cranston.

“Once at the Granite Club in the mid-1970s, while Toller was practising, Bob was mistaken by some people there as Bobby Riggs [the then 55-year-old tennis champion]. Cranston went around telling people that Grimson was Riggs, and Grimson gamely went along with the gag by going around that afternoon signing Riggs’ autograph.”

Maloney says Grimson “always had a little mirth around him.” And indeed, Grimson was an upbeat man who was often prone to giving renditions of show tunes at the drop of a hat. He was a man who loved life and lived it to the fullest — travelling the world, entertaining friends and mentoring young men. As his nephew told me, “being around younger people kept him always feeling young.”
 
Grimson lived for the last 50 years of his life in a small, elegant house on Cottingham (near Avenue Rd, just north of Dupont) that he designed with a uniquely (for its time) open living space. Its walls were completely covered by his eclectic collection of Canadian art.
 
There will be no funeral, but a celebration of his life will be held in the spring.



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Reader Comments


 
interesting life
It sounds like Grimson lead a very interesting life, witnessing first hand all the changes that gays have gone through in the last century. I'm glad he was around to help mentor younger gays during his time but its left me to wonder with the devastation that HIV has had on a generation of gay men how many older gays are there going to be left to pass on their knowledge and mentor the younger generation? I have to admit I'm fascinated with older gay men who have lived through such dramatic changes in our society. I try to imagine what it must have been like to grow up gay in the 30's and 40's but can't really do it. It wasn't till the 50's that the first gay rights groups started to appear, they were formed by men of Grimson's generation who had been through the war and were now willing to stand up for themselves and others like them, just like how the bath raids and the arrival of HIV changed the gay community from one largely hidden away from mainstream society to becoming part of mainstream society, even if only at the edges of it. I have a theory that serious considerations of life and death like what happened during WW2 and the devastation caused by HIV, change people's perceptions of the "shame" of being gay for the better. There is still much that can be learned from our elder gays if people are willing to listen.
Rich, Toronto Ontario
02/16/11 6:52 PM EST
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Reality check
Rich, other than young gay men who are (1) sex trade workers looking for customers, (2) potential kept boys looking for a sugar daddy (e.g., the guys who post ads on www.silverdaddies.com) or (3) potential immigrants looking for someone to help them come to Canada, I don't think gay youth have much use for gay seniors. Gay youth describe gay seniors in derogatory terms. We each have a short time as a youth. As you get older, you are less and less relevant in the gay community - no one cares.
Sam, Toronto Ontario
02/16/11 10:09 PM EST
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Older gay men have much to offer younger gays in
That is really very sad if true Sam (And I don't think it is that stark) . Older gay men have much to offer younger gays in mentoring and experience. Many are attracted to older man as friends to learn about gay history and also to either help older people or be mentored by them. And mentoring a younger man is a very satisfying experience for many older or senior gay. It is not just hustlers and those who use older gay men that are attracted to them. And I would say that the young hustler/older man relationship is often a positive one for both sides too and very often develops into a real friendship or relationship. So it isn't as stark as you say Sam. The younger gay world is not completely self indulgent and there are many that act as voluntary caregivers (as with George Hislop and Bob Grimson who both had very good longterm younger men as caregivers in their final years. And in turn they helped their caregivers with their long experience in life. A mutually beneficial relationship. PS Just one graphic example--A young Janko Naglic would never have had the opportunity to start the Barn and other gay venues if it were not for his relationship with Grimson. And they were friends until the day Janko died in his late fifties (and Bob was late 80's then). Grimson helped a lot of other younger gay men who were his friends through out his long life.
james dubro, toronto ontario
02/17/11 8:12 AM EST
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So long Bob
Wow Sam, that's either a huge generalization on your part or life has really been hard. I spend a great deal of time with young people who are fascinated with our history. While I do see what you describe I also see quite the opposite. Anyway, James, great piece. Bob was a true gentleman. I liked him and I'm glad he had such a long and productive life.
Peter Bochove, Toronto Ontario
02/17/11 9:39 AM EST
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Robert Grimson remembered
I met Bob many years ago while playing tennis with the Toronto Lesbian and Gay Tennis Association. He was one of the first members to join. (1984) While waiting to go on court for his doubles match, did he not start singing show tunes! This, may I add, was when he was a young, sprite 80 years old. Even after his Doctor told him to "take it easy", he still managed to come out to Ramsden Park on Saturday mornings for some socializing and yes, a bit of tennis. Bob hosted a number of social events with the league and always welcomed everyone with open arms. So long Bob, you were a true gentleman.
John Gordon, Toronto Ontario
02/17/11 12:37 PM EST
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Wish it were so
I find almost all young people uninterested in gay history or older queers. Ageism seems to be getting worse. If they're not interested sexually, they are often dismissive or rude, even if nonverbally. I avoid Church Street, now, for the first time in my life for these reasons. It seems to be the beginning, in certain respects, of a golden age of freedom for queers. Young folk don't realize how recent it is or how strong opposing forces still are--party on! What would their friends think if they saw you talking to someone who wasn't young and pretty?! Quel horreur.
Denny, Toronto Ontario
02/17/11 2:59 PM EST
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Old guys vs young guys...
I'm a 25 year old gay man and Over the course of my life I've met some very interesting old gay men and women. With a lot to say and tell people. Gay and Lesbian history is very interesting. I do see what Sam talks about though, we all have. But I don't think that the issues facing gay seinors are unique to us. they're common accross the whole nation. That said, we have to remember that this is the first generation of really old gay people to exist in the ''community'' before these people there was not really a gay community. So what's they're roll?
Mike, Chilliwack BC
02/19/11 11:13 PM EST
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Robert Grimson
Despite all the comments both negative and positive reporting on Robert Grimson's passing, I must add my perspective. Robert was by no means an activist as I am not as well. However, as his friend for almost 50 years and his banker when I was involved in the branch system of the bank, he was an exceedingly generous man who quietly supported many gay men and gay institutions. Not only did he financially support young gay students in their education, but he also contributed to many gay related charities. When I chaired the construction of the AIDS memorial in Cawthra Park, Bob was the first on the line to contribute dollars. I have first hand knowledge that he also financially helped young gay entrepreneurs in establishing their business. He is sadly missed by me. A good friend and lifelong person in my life given that I met him in 1964, a year that many of the contributors to this column were not even a sperm. Hugs to you Robert. Barrie Martin
Barrie Martin, Toronto, /Palm Springs Ontario/ California
02/23/11 12:00 PM EST
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He's Interesting To Me...
Being 50 years old, I consider myself neither young nor old. The man sounds quite interesting to me! Have just found http://books.google.ca/books?id=SHGRxuaJ0F4C&pg=PA316&lpg=PA316&dq=%22Bob+Grimson%22&source=bl&ots=gMdvWWEF57&sig=ib8bs2QSsbPoZhoCyokGPT33TyM&hl=en&ei=E8lpTcGxJcGgtgeh6oXmAg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=10&ved=0CFcQ6AEwCTgK#v=onepage&q=%22Bob%20Grimson%22&f=false and am doing a bit of online reading to find out more about him.
Peter Canning, Toronto Ontario
02/26/11 11:02 PM EST
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Video with Bob Grimson
Also found some streaming video of Grimson at: http://www.nfb.ca/film/open_secrets/ 11 minutes 51 sec into the streaming film.
Peter Canning, Toronto Ontario
02/26/11 11:36 PM EST
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