The perfect day
FRASER'S EDGE
Brad Fraser / Toronto / Thursday, November 01, 2012
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This one starts with a visit to an old friend in Puerto Vallarta. Someone I’ve known for decades, although for the last 10 years, since his emigration to Mexico, we’ve seen one another infrequently.

The visit began with some tension in that way meetings between old friends can be tense until you work out one another’s quirks — many of which become pronounced as we grow older. However, by the day in question, the relentless sun and our shared history had melted any discord and we were both enjoying ourselves so much that we decided to say yes when his generous friend offered us a daylong cruise on a 60-foot sailing schooner.

The morning was cool and clear as we boarded the boat. Our three-man crew was friendly and professional. The guide, Benjamin, was a bird and marine expert and a knowledgeable environmentalist.

We hugged the coastline for the first part of the trip, the sun getting warmer, but the breeze of the boat and the ocean around us rendered it bearable. Benjamin saw a circular rippling in the water that indicated feeding dolphins. The motor was cut and we glided in for a closer look. For a short time there was nothing, then suddenly they were breaking through the water near the front of the boat. Sinuous backs, sharp dorsal fins, fluked tails; a mother and calf and a larger one playfully raced under the bow and then they were gone.
The Beach in a Cave (or Honeymooner's Beach, depending on whom you speak to) on the Marieta Islands, off the coast of Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

We reached a lagoon of one of the Marieta Islands, a protected habitat said to have some of the best snorkelling in the world. Being a weak swimmer I entered the water somewhat nervously, but Benjamin was so reassuring and clear in his instruction that I was snorkelling as happily as my more experienced friends in a short time.

Treading water, my friend pulled his snorkel out of his mouth and said, “I feel like an extra in The Little Mermaid” as schools of king angelfish, black with neon-coloured stripes, came so close we could touch them. Benjamin dove gracefully to the bottom, overturning rocks to shoo out an octopus or to point out an almost invisible lobster. Then he led us through a mostly submerged archway, cautioning us to stay in the middle of the channel because colliding with the rocks can be very painful.

We emerged into one of the most magical places I have ever experienced. It’s called The Beach in a Cave, or Honeymooner’s Beach, depending on whom you speak to. There’s a popular image of this place circulating on Facebook. It shows clear blue-green water lapping against a pure white-sand beach surrounded by most of a tall volcanic dome that lacks a ceiling, making the entire place feel like the planet’s most secret cathedral to the elements.

To add a little danger to the wonder, our guide took us back into the water, sans snorkelling gear, and led us into another water-filled tunnel. It led to a larger cave with a number of openings to the ocean that allow the water to crash in, eddying around us as we carefully made our way across large, mossy rocks toward an opening in the opposite wall. Real dexterity and care were required. My friend said, “One slip and we’d be sliced to ribbons.”

His friend said, “I’m too fucking old for this.”

Later, on the return trip, after a hearty lunch, we lapsed into a contented silence, each of us dozing, lounging or silently regarding the amazingly complex topography of the water meeting air and light.

The next day, after the previous evening of laughs, Scrabble and a bit too much bourbon, my friend and I were having lunch when he told me the worst news a friend could possibly tell another. He’s been faced with a medical choice that involves either profound disfiguration or death. He’s never been the type to give up his looks and he’s never had any real desire to grow old. It was probably the last lunch we’ll ever share.

I was stunned. The many comments and questions I wanted to ask collided with a powerful surge of emotion. All I could muster was, “Thanks for yesterday.” He nodded and said, “It was perfect.”

And it was. It was the perfect day.

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Reader Comments


 
Human contact is still more precious than diamonds
Great article Brad —as usual. The ending does leave a knot in one's (my) stomach. Of course that is what you intended... But you should have gone a bit further. Similarly there are people whom we used to see all the time on the street or in the clubs, happily dancing and schmoozing. Sometimes we would talk and giggle on the street 'till dawn. Then they disappeared. Where did they go? Well...Some of them may have moved elsewhere... And others may have died of you know what...Yet others jut died emotionally. They may have had tragedies, accidents, illnesses, disfigurements, separations, or just grew old and/or tired. These people stopped going out. Shame and inadequacy can result in morbidity and avoidance of people. In your scenario, you left your friend to his own devices. But there are ways that disheartened lives can be resuscitated. All it takes is for others to care enough to be involved. In our fast-paced lives, where we are all so busy with meaningless digital rituals and have no time even for ourselves, the greatest gift we can give to others is to spend time with them. There are also people who are no longer in the desirable age range and are more and more ignored, not just looked past, but looked through. All those people would benefit most from others spending time with them. Human contact is still more precious than diamonds.
Charles, Toronto Ont.
11/02/12 2:53 AM EST
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Powerful
Hard column, Brad. Very poignant. It points up how precious our time is with friends. I know the feel -- it's one of those crushing moments of mid-life, but it brings back traumatic memories of having to say goodbye to people in my 20s because of AIDS/HIV. Well done.
Matthew Hays, Montreal QC
11/02/12 1:49 PM EST
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another thought provoking column!
You have quite a gift for confronting these big quality of life issues. I really hope your friend decides that life is worth living. Glad you had your perfect day together.
Darlene Stimson, Toronto Ontario
11/02/12 2:07 PM EST
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wow.
I read this last night and have been thinking about it since then. It wasn't like you didn't prepare me for the ending, but it was the last thing I would have expected. The ending made me re-read it again to make sure I got it right...there were clues. Amazing. It's a unique piece of writing. Thanks so much.
Roy, Toronto ON
11/02/12 2:14 PM EST
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Beautiful
Gorgeously captured. Thank you.
David, Edmonton Alberta
11/02/12 3:04 PM EST
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evocative and thought provoking
Oh Brad...you ARE the silver lining....thanks so much for sharing that
Janice, Edmonton Alberta
11/02/12 11:02 PM EST
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Each day is a gift. Too often we forget that.
My heart goes out to your friend. I honor the fact that he carefully choose the right time & place to share his plight with you. It was good to read that you allowed him to express himself without immediately offering any emotionally driven opinion of your own. Such decisions are so personal. As someone who is facing a similarly serious medical conundrum I just want to say that time has been a gift. As January approaches I will have had almost one year to consider my options. What seemed traumatic then seems less so now? I have established a certain internal peace. Life is about change, about challenges. It is about adaptation. My hope is that time allows your friend to establish his own peace also...either way. Remain supportive regardless. Meanwhile hold that perfect day close to your heart! Life only comes at us one day at a time...
janice, vancouver bc
11/03/12 3:38 PM EST
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