Wendy Babcock
PROUD LIFE / Advocate, activist, mother and friend
Danielle Sheppard / National / Friday, August 12, 2011
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We remember Wendy Babcock the woman, not just for her activism, but for her tenacity, humour, boundless energy and drive. She was a mother, a loving sister and daughter, and was part of a close chosen family of friends.
Wendy Babcock.
 
Wendy dedicated her life to the rights of others. She was always willing to talk to people and answer questions about the issues she was passionate about – sex worker rights, harm reduction, mental health and child welfare reform. She felt that anyone's mind could change about a particular issue. Her patience, quick wit and disarming personality allowed her to rally people to her causes. She never turned her advocacy and support off. If she saw someone outside of a bar or a strip club and they didn’t have a safe place to stay, she was always ready to help them find one.
 
Babcock was extremely proud of her role co-initiating a partnership with Toronto Police Service to ensure that sex workers can report assault without fear of persecution or prosecution, and being a member of the advisory group to the Special Victims Unit. She was co-founder of the Bad Date Coalition of Toronto, a group that produces a monthly Bad Date Book, which publishes reports of violent acts committed against sex workers, including details of the attacker, an important tool in the safety and survival of sex workers.
 
Wendy was an excellent public speaker. She was much sought after by community and government agencies because of her knowledge and experience.
 
In 2008, David Miller and the City of Toronto acknowledged her endless activism with the inaugural Public Health Champion Award for her work with sex workers.
 
Everyone who met Wendy was impacted by interacting with her. Many of the women who met Wendy credit her with inspiring them to work toward changes in the system. For example, several women made the commitment to work on the issue of violence against women and children because of Wendy. She was always on, always educating, always advocating. This drive led her to complete college and get into law school based on an LSAT score in the 98th percentile, with only a Grade 7 education. She was currently entering her third year of a four-year law degree. Her mission in going to law school was very specific; she wanted to reform the child welfare system. She was also interested in anti-poverty law. She saw the law as a way for her to continue to advocate for the rights of others. 
 
Wendy gave a tremendous amount of her time and passion to serving others and was always grateful when the community supported her in her goals. Last year, when people began to send in donations for Wendy to continue to attend law school, Wendy was overwhelmed and touched by the generosity of people from all walks of life: from people who were homeless sending in whatever change they had to wealthy people giving larger donations. Wendy read every card and note sent to her, and this provided strength for her to persevere through the past year of law school.
 
Wendy was the mother of a son she loved dearly. She often expressed to her friends that what she wanted was for him to have a good and happy life. Her experience losing custody of her son to the Children’s Aid Society and her own experiences as a child in care caused her to be passionate about protecting the rights of children and reforming the child welfare system.
 
Wendy will be greatly missed by her family, her friends, the sex work and activist community, the graduates of the AWCCA program at George Brown College and her clients.
 
For more on the life of Wendy Babcock, see Xtra's story here.


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Reader Comments


 
My memories of Wendy
I met Wendy Babcock on July 2, 1991 at Claireville Riding Camp. She was friendly and fun to talk to. We hit it off right away. I was 14. She was 12. We became good friends that summer. I went to her house often. She lived in Alderwood. Her mom Marge, was a gentle and shy person. Marge didn't have a mean bone in her body. Wendy was a "daddy's girl". She was very close to her dad. I remember how excited Wendy was in November 1991, when she saw her childhood hero, Ian Miller, at the Royal Ontario Winter Fair. She joyfully called her father taht day to tell him that she had seen her favorite show jumper. Wendy had a caring side. When Kayla Kludusz was found murdered that summer, it her that initiated us to write a sympathy card to Kayla's family. The only thing troubling I noticed back then was that she smoked Players cigarettes at only age 12 and was contacting a 19 year old man at our camp. She tried to act older for her age and that troubled me. Wendy and I am were friends for 18 months. I finally broke up with her because she started to belittle me and it hurt my feelings. After that, she became more troubled and started going down the wrong path. I have photos and diary entries that can prove my relationship with Wendy. Please email me at z.petal@yahoo.com if you want to know the truth about her.
Jangmi, Etobicoke Ontario
08/13/11 1:56 PM EST
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I knew Wendy's mom
I knew Wendy's mom and did not have a mean bone in her body. It was rumoured that her father had a slight alcohol problem because they were going to AA meetings. But he was very good to her and spoiled her, and I doubt either one abused her.
MaryAnne, Etobicoke Ontario
08/13/11 2:28 PM EST
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Truth
Wendy's parents were neither alcoholics or abusive in anyway. Her Dad took her to her appointments, but he never drank a drop. Her Dad loved her dearly and Wendy loved him also. I do believe because of Wendy's mental illness she was able to fabricate her stories.
Nancy, Toronto On
08/13/11 7:46 PM EST
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only Wendy knows for sure
No one knows what goes on behind closed doors, abuse can and does happen in secret all the time, in some cases even siblings don't realize their sibling is being abused, I know that for a fact since my sister was abused as a child by someone in our extended family and I had no idea until she told me about it a few years ago and a couple of decades after the abuse ended. My sister swore me to secrecy but these comments are anonymous so I believe I'm keeping her secret in spite of talking about it here. In her younger days she always acted out and got in trouble a lot, she was very promiscuous, some of the classic signs of abuse I later learned. I was very close to the person who was abusing my sister and never would have guessed he was an abuser. No one can tell for sure what went on just from knowing the family, I sure didn't have the slightest clue the family member who was abusing my sister was doing any such thing, it was a total shock to me find out what he had done when my sister told me about it, but I believe my sister completely since her story matched up with my memories and I could tell how hard it was for her to tell me about it even though the abuse had ended decades earlier, abuse victims continue to suffer long after the abuse ends. The stories of Wendy's early life fit well with the common reactions of abuse victims. Only Wendy herself can know for sure if she was abused, well her and her abuser if the stories are true. Knowing what I do now about how abuse victims often react to abuse I for one believe she was abused even though I can't know for certain, her life story fits too well with the classic symptoms of abuse. I encourage people who knew Wendy and her family but don't believe she was abused to look up online the classic symptoms abuse victims show. Here's a couple links, http://www.angelfire.com/tn/surivors/abusesigns.html and http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1355/is_24_101/ai_87210905/
I believe it, London Ontario
08/13/11 10:27 PM EST
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Yes, only Wendy was knows for sure
Nancy, Thank you Nancy for setting the record straight about Wendy's father. And no, I didn't know what happened behind closed doors. This is what I know: Her mother was a kind person, I saw this and many others know this. Wendy lied about being homeless at age 11. How do I know this? I met her in July 1991 when she was 12 and in the summer of 1991, I went to her home that summer, even saw her room. (that is where we made the sympathy card for Kayla's family). Wendy got into trouble around Grade 7, to a point, on family forbid her to hang out with their daughter. So even though I don't know what "happened" behind closed doors, I know for sure that she lied about being homeless at age 11. If she lied about being homeless at age 11, than what else is she lying about? I also kept a journal of my two weeks at Riding Camp in 1991, I mention her name in my journal.
Jangmi, Etobicoke Ontario
08/14/11 9:13 AM EST
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If only...
We have some magnificent people in our community. Sometimes we distance ourselves just to be away from the reminders of what we went through to be where we find ourselves today... but we're a small group. Surely we should be trying to build bridges, add strength and substance to each other's lives - like she was doing. I didn't know her, becuse I'd backed away from the community... but I would love to have had the chance. Every life is a lesson, and maybe she's had a chance to show us what we can do together - and what happens when we fall apart.
Dawna, Toronto ON
08/14/11 10:17 AM EST
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I can't believe this...
I am Wendy's friend. I am grieving. I don't care about whether or not you think she was lying. have some respect for the people who knew and loved her. I am so disgusted by your comments and you should be ashamed of what you are doing. I was on the streets on and off as a child. I was being abused and ran away many times to escape it. I also went home many times. I went to school everyday like none of that was happening. None of my teachers or friends knew when I slept on the street. You're ignorance in the matter and your arrogance are absolutely disgusting.
Wendy's friend, Toronto HavBad@gmail.com
08/14/11 1:34 PM EST
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Lots of critics of the deceased
It seems that many people are out to criticize the late Wendy Babcock so soon after her death. Even Sasha of NOW Magazine wrote the following: (quote) I knew Wendy. Not well – her erratic emotional energy scared the shit out of me. I am wary of women (and whores in particular) who are so unpredictable. They remind me that so many of us are troubled, not getting the help we need and beset by misfortunes both personally and within the business. They remind me that I can be unpredictable, too. When you want nothing more than to be loved, this is a trait you must work continuously to hide. You must be cautious of people who betray it with such a stunning lack of restraint...Wendy was obviously gifted, obviously tormented, obviously a beacon for suffocatingly bad luck –lurching about putting carts before horses, yelling into megaphones, burning bridges and being raw, rowdy and exposed. (end of quote) See http://www.nowtoronto.com/columns/sasha.cfm?content=182213
Ken, Toronto Ontario
08/14/11 3:10 PM EST
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To Wendy's Friend
We, those who knew the truth about Wendy, want people to know something: her parents were caring, good people and what she said about them was inaccurate. What she has said about her own life was inaccurate (e.g. she was living at home in 1991, her parents paid for her riding lessons and her expensive riding camp that year). We know this. You don't. The truth isn't what you want it to be sometimes. But it is what it is and we are sick of people spreading ugly lies about her parents when they have never been substantiated. Her parents are not convicted of any crime against her. All people in Canada are innocent until proven guilty.
Jangmi, Etobicoke Ontario
08/14/11 4:48 PM EST
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except Wendy, apparently
Jangmi says "All people in Canada are innocent until proven guilty". Why not apply that to Wendy as well? You also say "Wendy and I am were friends for 18 months. I finally broke up with her because she started to belittle me and it hurt my feelings" So you knew her for a very short period of her life, admit to feeling upset with her, you also acknowledge that you have no idea what happened inside her home and we're supposed to take your word as gospel on this matter? I don't think so. You barely knew her and were angry with her, I'm much more inclined to believe her friends that she confided in later in her life than someone who knew her briefly and appears to be holding quite a grudge against her. The advice, don't speak ill of the dead, is fine advice indeed, too bad you chose not tot take it. Just because she may have lied about when she was on the streets, she could've had many reasons for doing so that you don't know about, its no indication that she wasn't abused. Jangmi show some respect for your dead childhood friend, and her present day friends, and stop attacking Wendy, after all its not like Wendy can defend herself from your allegations. You should have raised your doubts when she was still alive to respond to them, now its too late so let it go.
Rich, Toronto Ontario
08/14/11 5:59 PM EST
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Rich
Rich, you can't resist commenting on this story, can you? I thought you would have learned your lesson after being criticized by one of Wendy's friends for your insensitive comments (on another story on xtra.ca) about her allegedly being mentally ill. http://www.xtra.ca/public/Toronto/Wendy_Babcock_found_dead-10619.aspx
Not again, Toronto Ontario
08/14/11 7:13 PM EST
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Wendy's was GREAT!
It saddens me that many people have the guts to tear the dead apart based on negatives of her. Whether true or not, not everyone knows what goes on people's lives from day to day basis. She was an inspiration and have given so much more than the negatives aspects of her that some people writes on here. We need to share the positive sides of what she had done for others. not what her shortcomings were. She will be missed all the time now because of her quest of good things for others. And that is more important than staining her more. Wendy, you shared your best to others and that's what matters most to me.
ruby, toronto ontario
08/15/11 3:07 PM EST
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Rich
Stop attacking me. I stand by my memories of her and what I remembered of her family. I don't know what happened to her after 1993. I'm not trying to attack her, I'm attacking what she said of her parents. Show some respect and accept that not everyone remembers someone "the same way." We all have different memories of her and we all know different sides to her. Let it go. And yes, you are innocent until proven guilty. That's why they have the False Memory Syndrome Society. Google it for yourself.
Jangmi, Etobicoke Ontario
08/15/11 3:31 PM EST
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......
what the hell is wrong with you people? I echo what was said on the other article.. these comments are making me think that the internet is entirely a bad idea. My guess now is that you ARE Wendy's parents or their friends, or something along those lines... and have waited until she died to say this, when Wendy isn't here to respond. I honestly hope that it's hard for you to sleep at night. Some of us have known Wendy for 10-15 years .. you knew her for maybe a year and a half? Go to hell.
wendy's friend, toronto ontario
08/18/11 1:12 PM EST
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she may have lied, or not, it's all irrelevant now
A very close friend of mine died a few years ago. All his/our friends who loved eachother until then, went totally crazy and started accusing each other of irrelevant things. My posting a picture of him in XTRA became a legal issue that Elleanor Brown was very helpful with (Thankyou Elleanor) I thought it would be in his honour, to put his picture in the paper but some of the other friends fought it, because they were not listed in the right order or status of friendship or whatever... My point is that when someone dies, friends and relatives think they own part or all of that person and go a little bit crazy in their demands or feelings of terrritorriality or idealisms. Time heals all wounds or at least distract focus on newer more important things of the moment as they come up. Give it time, give it a rest...No one is totally right, everyone has a partial picture. All the different bits of information make up a partial whole. Wendy may have had secrets that none of you know about, which would complete the whole story, but only she knows for sure. And she may have lied, or not. it's all irrelevant now that she's gone. Stop fighting...take a deep breath...relax... hug each other. On to the next adventure.
Overview, Toronto Ont
08/18/11 11:05 PM EST
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so true (response to the last comment)
Well put, Overview. When someone as dynamic and influential as Wendy passes, many diverging truths and fictions emerge and many people reveal different memories of the same person, even within identical environments. We will never know Wendy's truths, and I have a feeling she was never exactly sure of or trusted her own memories. I worked with her on a television show where she had found an apprenticeship job through Eva's Phoenix; this was in the summer and fall of 2001. I found her to be a very smart young woman who had, most obviously, been very very badly hurt and carried those scars where we could all see them. At the same time, I also know that her son was NOT with her at this point. I visited her home which was at the Deep Quong non-profit house on Beverley street, where she lived in a single room; moreover she would mention visiting Korin at his foster parents. So I know she lost him before 2003. And another mystery emerges... At the time she told everyone she had been an exotic dancer at one time but did not go into detail; I knew she was trying not to return to the hardships of sex work and street life. I wrote her a recommendation for further film work, but she chose not to pursue this. I had only recently come back in contact with her when I heard about her death; I had felt inspired hearing about her successes in Law School and in activism. She could have helped so many and, despite whatever stories she invented to help cope with her own pain, her death remains tragic.
NJW, Toronro Ont
08/20/11 8:17 PM EST
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Sasha Van Bon Bon's criticism of Wendy
It is surprising that QuAIA supporter Sasha Van Bon Bon would say such mean things about Wendy Babcock in her column in Now Magazine. See http://www.nowtoronto.com/columns/sasha.cfm?content=182213 Up until now, Sasha had solid credentials as a left-wing activist. Sasha wrote articles in support of QuAIA - for example, see http://www.nowtoronto.com/columns/sasha.cfm?content=180928 In 2011, Sasha organized the Stonewall march to protest QuAIA's absence from Pride 2011 - see http://www.xtra.ca/public/Toronto/Stonewall_TO_marks_41_years-10317.aspx In 2010, she organized the Take Back the Dyke March to protest the initial decision of the Pride Board to exclude QuAIA from Pride 2010 (before Brent Hawkes got the board to reverse their decision) - see http://www.xtra.ca/public/National/Splitsville_Queers_launch_alternatives_to_official_Pride_Toronto_events-8740.aspx
Dale, Toronto Ontario
08/26/11 11:21 PM EST
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this is about Wendy, don't bring quaia into this
This is about WENDY, do not bring irrelevant conversations into this, especially not those that attract a bunch of ignorant trolls to take over comment boards.
Sav., Toronto ON
08/27/11 7:54 AM EST
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Sav
Sav, if it's so irrelevant, then why did you post a comment criticizing Sasha's comments about Wendy on the NOW Magazine website? See: http://www.nowtoronto.com/columns/sasha.cfm?content=182213 I assume you are Dr. Savannah S. Garmon, Ph.D. of QuAIA.
Dale, Toronto Ontario
08/27/11 9:56 AM EST
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is it...
...redundant to place the "PH.D." after already indicating "Dr." ? Seriously...I want to know.
graham, Toronto ON
08/28/11 12:05 PM EST
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More Anal Retentives
Dr. Savannah S. Garmon, Ph.D. The Dr. and the Ph.D. used together suggests sarcasm. We don't know if the poster is anal retentive and meticulous or if the poster is suggesting that Dr. Savannah S. Garmon, Ph.D. is irritatingly anal retentive. Although judging from “Sav's” posts...
Satire, Toronto Ont
08/30/11 4:40 AM EST
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