Fuck positive women
PROFILE / Local activist Jessica Whitbread is getting louder
Andrea Houston / National / Thursday, February 21, 2013
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Jessica Whitbread’s body is the site of her activism. She invites you to look at her, hear her story, find her sexy, see her joy and desire to fuck her.
 
“That’s where my activism comes from: asking the question to myself, what’s it like to be a queer woman with HIV?” she says. “I want people to be more than allies. Would you fuck an HIV-positive woman?”
 
For about 10 years, the bubbly organizer has lived and breathed grassroots activism. Her Fuck Positive Women initiative is charged with sexual and political energy: women with HIV are sexy, happy and have no interest in being portrayed as victims. At the same time, women are angry at being “fucked” by an oppressive, patriarchal system.
 
“It’s intentionally over-the-top and in people’s faces, like a performance,” she says. “It’s like, ‘You wanna eat this pussy? No? Weird!’ Because being able to sleep with whomever you want is such a privilege. People don’t even realize.”
 
Whitbread’s No Pants, No Problem parties are nights of playful, sexy frivolity that cater to the sexual fringes by creating safe places for all kinds of stigma-free sexual hookups.
 
As a member of AIDS Action Now (AAN), the 32-year-old has made herself a visible and outspoken voice for positive young queer women in an AIDS movement that she says is still male-dominated.
Jessica Whitbread was recently named the global chair of the International Community of Women Living with HIV/AIDS, the only network for positive women that's run by women.
(Andrea Houston)
 
Whitbread was recently named the global chair of the International Community of Women Living with HIV/AIDS, the only network for positive women that’s run by women. “There are many HIV organizations that are allies of women, but they’re not led by women. It makes a difference,” she says.
 
In her new volunteer role, she will speak at conferences and advocate on an international stage, including at the Commission on the Status of Women conference in March, at the United Nations in New York.
 
“I consider this to be one of the most important roles I’ll probably play in my life,” she says. “I’m certainly a spokesperson for the movement, but I’m not interested in taking up all the space. Sometimes I get upset because I feel that I do take up a lot of space. So, I want to build and strengthen the capacity for women to take more leadership roles. We will take up space collectively.”
 
Whitbread found out she was HIV-positive when she was 20. She got the virus from an ex-partner, a man who would later be convicted of aggravated sexual assault. He was sentenced to five years in prison for exposing one woman and transmitting the virus to another. “Why he didn’t disclose is a mystery to me even to this day,” Whitbread said at the Day of Action to Stop HIV/AIDS Criminalization last year.
 
Ultimately, Whitbread doesn’t blame her former partner for her status; she blames the system. “Regardless of the reason [he didn’t disclose], I don’t believe he is a vicious murderer. He got lost in a system led by the dominant ideas about masculinity and was failed by a government that is racist, homophobic, transphobic and criminalizes sex workers and drug users.”
 
Two years after learning she was positive, Whitbread made her first media appearance. It was terrifying, she remembers, and she was unprepared for the way her image and message could be manipulated.
 
“At 22, I was a baby. I remember someone saying, ‘Where did you find this girl? She is a goldmine!’ I was this young, white woman, portrayed as this innocent victim. I didn’t want to be cloaked in that. But at the time I didn’t have the vocabulary to respond to that.”
 
In her new role, Whitbread wants to mobilize women to take control of their messages. She sees the global AIDS movement slowing down, rather than amping up. At AIDS conferences, more and more presentations are focusing on prevention, or even abstinence, rather than treatment and harm reduction.
 
Meanwhile, resources and support for HIV-positive people in Canada are being scaled back, especially for women and people of colour. Toronto’s Voices of Positive Women, a community-based agency that provided support and advocacy to HIV-positive women throughout Ontario, closed its doors in 2010 — in what Whitbread calls a devastating blow.
 
“The movement is really fragmented for women,” she says. “From what I’ve noticed, women with HIV are really isolated and alone. This is especially true if they don’t live in one of the city centres like Toronto, Montreal or Vancouver.”
 
While Whitbread encourages HIV-positive women to embrace and celebrate their sexuality, when it comes to sex, she thinks more people need to take personal responsibility for their health. “Everyone’s always at risk, all the time, for anything. I think we have a real tough time taking ownership of our own responsibility and the footprints we leave in the world.
 
“When I do workshops with young people, there’s a feeling that AIDS can be cured, or at least it’s no longer a death sentence. The criminalization piece is also misunderstood. They think that if someone doesn’t disclose, you can just charge them. So what’s it all matter?”
 
It’s why Whitbread plans to keep talking about HIV, and she’s only going to get louder. “In a movement where people burn out and fall off, I’ve just been slowly climbing the mountain.”


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Reader Comments


 
Blame the system?
It's interesting that Whitbread blames the government and society (rather than her partner or herself) for being HIV-positive. At the end of the day, she let someone penetrate her without a condom. The government and society weren't there when it happened. Only Whitbread and her partner were. But, the government and society are now picking up the tab for the additional drug and medical costs that she is now incurring as a result of becoming HIV-positive. I understand anti-HIV drugs cost about $24,000 per year and I assume that Whitbread is getting the Trillium drug program to pay most of those costs. At least the system is there for the costs of her anti-HIV drugs.
Glenn, Toronto ON
02/24/13 12:40 PM EST
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has the AIDS Aristocracy come down to this
In what manner is the person 'queer'? She presents a penis-vagina, man-woman past and wants to be fucked in the pussy presumably by a penis (since any other device would have nothing to do with HIV). I presume her sex parties are places where men and woman can engage in penis-vagina intercourse in semi-public groups. How is this 'queer'? Sounds like someone has read too much Queer and Gender Studies and is using her infection as her queer card. Of course since she talks the queertalk she will be loved the assholes of PC Queer Toronto. As the person above noted, she's already learned to blame everything but herself for being infected. Has the AIDS Aristocracy been reduced to this?
Zozozaze Zadfrack Glutz, Toronto ON
02/24/13 3:48 PM EST
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Blame does not help
I appreciate the sentiments expressed by the previous commenters, but personal blame simply does not help when combatting HIV.
Joe Clark, Toronto ON
02/25/13 10:16 AM EST
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Re: "Queer"
I am a queer woman and have had many penises in my vagina and I can tell you, that does not make me any less queer. And from reading this article, I do not take away that Whitbread is blaming everyone but herself for her status. "While Whitbread encourages HIV-positive women to embrace and celebrate their sexuality, when it comes to sex, she thinks more people need to take personal responsibility for their health. " Not disclosing one's status is not a nice thing, but it shouldn't be criminal and prosecuted in the same manner as sexual assault with a weapon (which is what it is currently being charged as.) I think Whitbread's voice is extremely important right now, especially in a prodominently male led discussion. She does not want to be seen as a victim, she is a strong, independent and sexy woman who just wants the same things most people want and wants to help other women have a voice too. Heck... I'd fuck her ;)
Julie Paquet, Montreal Quebec
02/25/13 11:25 PM EST
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RE: Queer
I would also like to address previous comments which essentially questioned Whitbread's validity as queer because, in this article, there is mention of her having had a heterosexual relationship. I'd like to point out that for many who identify as queer, they do so because the binary of hetero/homo does not encompass the breadth of their lived experience or desires. That is the beauty of the term queer! It is flexible and welcoming to a wealth of non-normative identities. Also, just because someone isn't a certified "gold star" homosexual who has NEVER EVER EVER had anything but 100% gay sex does not mean that they don't have gay desire, engage in gay relationships or have a place in the gay/queer community. Basically this article mentions one relationship that Whitbread had 12 years ago and the above commenter assumed that means that any queer identity Whitbread has now must be fake. That seems like immensely faulty logic to me.
LB MacDonald, Montreal Quebec
02/26/13 3:19 PM EST
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RE: Blame
On a separate topic, I'd like to address the person who said that Whitbread is blaming everyone but herself for her sero-status. Though Whitbread points to a lot of systemic problems that contribute to the continuing spread of HIV, there is nothing in this article that says she doesn't take responsibility for her own decisions. I think that the point that this commenter is missing is that Whitbread is saying that we need to go beyond the micro level of personal responsibility and that AIDS activism is useless if we all get mired in the blame game. We have to get past blame (AND AWAY FROM CRIMINALIZATION OF INDIVIDUALS) and look at the underlying reasons why HIV is still spreading. We need to look at what social, institutional, economic and legal pressures have influence on people's access to information and harm reduction supplies. Blaming HIV positive people is a really great way for HIV negative people to wash their hands of the problem and to walk away from the work that needs to be done to reduce infection rates and change attitudes towards those living with HIV/AIDS. Whitbread isn't saying that people don't make decisions that they have to live with for the rest of their lives, she is saying that there's more to a decision than a multiple choice question on a test that you either get right or wrong; she's saying that there are fucked up things in this world like (internalized)homophobia, the pressures of patriarchal notions of masculinity, fear of the "justice" system, etc. etc., that work against us and against harm reduction.
LB MacDonald, Montreal Quebec
02/26/13 3:44 PM EST
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there are two AIDS worlds
LB -- many of us fags who were out and fucking in the 70s then lived through the greatest gay holocaust imaginable with everyone we knew and loved dying all around us and our sexuality re-stigmatized and vilified know do not need lectures from women on issues that arose 30 years ago for us. This woman's words are so hetero-focused and sound like a pamplet from an ASO. There are two AIDS -- gay male AIDS with its 40 year specific history -- and hetero AIDS which is where the criminalization came from. No gay man ever went to court over HIV infection in the 80s or 90s despite anectodal rage and fury over infections among many. These criminal charges for HIV infection began solely as women charging men and of course right wing forces used this growing attitude of punishment to further target gay men -- although stats on gay male versus women laying such charges and the history of this would be interesting to see. If some gay men are angry at this woman's story in 2013 it is because many of us see two AIDS worlds with the muck of hetero criminalization being leeched onto the 40 year stigma nightmare of ours.
gay male AIDS is not hetero AIDS, Toronto ON
02/26/13 4:44 PM EST
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many (queer) worlds
Not to take away from anyone's personal story in any way, but I would like to point out that there are women out there who have been living with HIV since the 80s and 90s. Many of these women share community with gay men, yet their stories are often swept into the margins. Why is it angering when a positive woman shares her story and speaks out against criminalization? I would also like to add (regarding the comment questioning queerness) that every No Pants No Problem I've been to or heard tell of has well attended and well loved by all kinds of queers, including myself. Furthermore, to presume that someone is unqueer because of the way they use or have used their body parts seems rather cis-sexist and reductionist.
Johnny, Montreal QC
02/26/13 5:41 PM EST
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more elitist Queer powerprivilege over monosexuals
And you Johnny are very monosexualphobic and desire-negative. To impose a desire loci on anyone is the opposite of liberation. For YOU genitals are not desire loci; for monosexuals (gay or het)they are. Are you dictating to us what our sexual desire loci should be or that yours are better than ours? btw The term cis-sexist is hate speech.
gmainha, Toronto ON
02/26/13 6:28 PM EST
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Absolutely fabulous
Not at all. I had no intention I speaking about my genitals over the Internet on this particular forum, though it is an activity I very much enjoy as I absolutely DO consider my genitals and those of my lovers to be loci of desire at times. I was simply stating that it is unfair for any of us to make assumptions about J. Whitbread's identity based on what we presume to be her preferred sex act. We do not know what Whitbread likes best sexually based on this article. Furthermore, if the term cis-sexist is hateful the same logic would dictate that the terms misogynist and sexist are hateful as well. Please explain what you mean, gmainha... I'm curious to find out how the recognition of a multiplicity of gender-genital relations among human beings paired with the refusal to make assumptions about anyone's gender an sexual identity based on generalizations can be equated with hate speech... Let's call a spade a spade and admit that queer romance encompassing love and lust for trans and cis bodies in many configurations is what I mean to celebrate each time I call out cis-sexism.
Johnny, Montreal QC
02/26/13 9:16 PM EST
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hatred of monosexual genital desire locus is hate
Johnny is a bigot. Period.
gmainha, Toronto ON
02/26/13 10:02 PM EST
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confused
Fighting between commenting and not commenting, but just extremely confused as to how anything Johnny said can be construed as hateful or bigoted. People have sex with all different types of people. Some people have sex with people who have the same genitals as they do, some people don't. Some people's genitals have nothing to do with the sexual relations in which they have.. which is different than other people. All of our sexual desires and relationships are different and none of them are being put down. The only debate that was brought up was someone's 'queerness' based on the fact that they are a cis-gendered female who at one point in their life had sexual relations with a cis-gendered male. What does it matter? And ok... I do not want to diminish people's personal experiences or stories. I myself am speaking as a queer woman who realizes that she possesses a lot of privilege due to the fact that I have sex with cis-gendered men and thus benefit from 'straight' privilege. I just do not understand the point in questioning someone's queerness or wondering why someone is angry at the fact that people (of all sexual orientations and genders) are being criminally charged unjustly. And to get back on the topic of privilege... so many of us, no matter who we sleep with and what genitals they have... many of us have sex without thinking much furtner than the moment itself. This is a privilege that many people living with HIV(who know their status) do not get to experience, which is pretty shitty.
Julie, Montreal Quebec
02/27/13 6:39 AM EST
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no desire for trans genitals equals racism
Johnny is a bigot because he is placing one form of sexual desire above another; and not merely that but he is labelling that lack of desire into a pejorative term on par with racist: Johnny wrote -- admit that queer romance encompassing love and lust for trans and cis bodies in many configurations is what I mean to celebrate each time I call out cis-sexism --(end quote) This says that cis-sexism means anyone who does not have love and lust for any configuration of trans body. This means that all monosexuals (homo men and women born with male and female genitals who desire only the same sex and genitals OR hetero people who only desire the other) are bigots to Johnny because their desire does not include for example, vaginas for monosexual gay men and het women or penises for monosexual lesbians and het men. Queer and trans have managed to render homosexuality into a bigoted and wrong form of sexual expression in the same manner that fundamentalist christians have been doing forever. Why the hate Johnny? Why the confusion Julie? This is the line drawn in the sexual sand. Queers demand that all people be open to all genitals and trans bodies. Monosexuals are people who have an inherent natural sexual locus that makes this impossible and is something that we have fought to free for 50 years. Thanks for rendering our sexual desire into something as base and evil as racism. This is why the details of sex and genitals are important since they are being used against monosexual homosexuals while queer and trans people because of their heteronormative penis-vagina bullying of monosexuals are embraced into the larger homo hating fold.
gmainha, Toronto ON
02/27/13 7:54 AM EST
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Oh Dear
To celebrate "trans AND CIS bodies in many configurations" is exactly the opposite of "placing one form of sexual desire above another." In this celebration I absolutely include cis women loving and lusting after ciswomen and cismen loving and lusting after cismen... as well as many forms of bi and hetero sexuality, including trans hetero and bi experiences and preferences. There is no best way to love or desire, only what is best for every individual on this planet. I feel as though we have been drifting away from the original topic here, which is that of HIV and how stigma affects our abilities to express sexuality. Thank you for steering your comments back to this, Julie;) I remind us all of Whitbread's question and ask each one of us who is HIV negative and desires women, or a particular woman: Would your desire shift or change were that woman HIV positive? If so... why?
Johnny, Montreal QC
02/27/13 12:38 PM EST
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hypocrite
Johnny you claimed that cis-sexism equals not celebrating all cis and trans bodies in love and lust -- YOU defined it -- you made exlusionary desire locus into an ism or phobe. Now you obfuscate and refuse to take responsibility for your own words. Typical Queered bigot. Thanks for demonstrating this form of queer bigotry to the world via this forum. The discourse over poz and neg fuckability has been going on for 30 years (the serochasm of viral apartheid is what it has been called) so the ending of your comment is decades out of date and a good way to escape the hypocrisy you have been caught out and called out for.
gmaetc., Toronto ON
02/27/13 12:48 PM EST
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once again
Let me make this clear, as there seems to be some kind of misunderstanding cis-sexism IS the refusal to acknowledge the many possible configurations of all of the many possible cis and trans bodies in love and lust. Just as the refusal to acknowledge the validity of women loving and fucking other women would be homo- or lesbophobia. The celebration of women loving women (for example) is the opposite of homophobia. People are capable of celebrating all kinds of sex and love, even the kinds that they themselves do not personally prefer. I was stating earlier that it is cis-sexist to assume anyone's sexual identity based on their genitals and what they do with them. No one can name the sexuality of another without information coming directly from that person. Furthermore, as my previous comment suggested, I am aware of the long history of this discourse. The fact that stigma around HIV remains pervasive should be enough to convince to anyone reading, let alone someone so seemingly aware and connected to the issue, that the questions presented in the above article are still relevant. LOVE POSITIVE WOMEN.
Johnny, Montreal QC
02/27/13 1:15 PM EST
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*shakes head*
oh, toronto. i am ashamed to be IN you. these comments are terrible. "It's interesting that Whitbread blames the government and society (rather than her partner or herself) for being HIV-positive. At the end of the day, she let someone penetrate her without a condom. The government and society weren't there when it happened." if this is truly what you get from the article, my god man. i pray disease never falls upon you. oh wait- that is impossible as a human. stigmaticization is a huge force behind the spread of HIV and also a contributor to the quality of life of those who are positive! without the education and awareness done by many AIDS activists groups since the 80s, i'm sure any and all queers & those decidedly from 'unsafe' continental regions (by the state) would be ignorantly quarenteened. i'm not even going to step into this cis-sexism is queer bigotry debate. that is just hogwash. no wonder toronto is a terrible place to find lovers. there are so many angry silly people, who imo, sound like they're terrible in bed.
j, toronto on
02/27/13 1:39 PM EST
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Would your desire change if that woman were HIV+?
My desire would definitely shift. Why? because I would not want to put myself in a position of potentially contracting HIV. Much like how I don't make out with people with the flu. (I know, I know it's reductive and perhaps a poor comparison.) But, I feel like the best way to keep my body safe is to steer clear of an obvious threat. I'm educated on the topic of safer sex practice (and I do practice). I also know that it's called "safer" for a reason: there are no guarantees. Though I would be interested in maintaining the friendship I would keep my sexual desire in check. The poz woman probably won't want to hang with me any longer after all of that, anyway. ON another note: Johnny, great posts. And, Gay Male, you're right, no one gave a sh*t about who gave what to whom until precious (North American) breeders realized they had a problem on their hands.
wagwan, toronto on
02/27/13 6:50 PM EST
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It's so easy to throw the “HATE” word around.
It's so easy to throw the “HATE” word around. It's so easy to accuse people of racism and misogyny, etc., based on twisted academic idealisms and new dogmas of deodourized political correctness. If we are not attracted to some people, it doesn’t mean that we hate them. We can’t fuck something that will not inspire us to arousal. We can’t appreciate something that does not please our senses and/or intellect. Whether aesthetic judgements about people are based on cultural trends/clichés of what is desirable or not, or pheromones, or fear, is irrelevant. We can only react to what pleases us now. We may change our minds in the future...Of course, some people will fuck anything in the dark —those are the types I am now afraid to trust, or touch. Fear is what has saved many people’s lives. Fear is a natural self preservation mechanism inherent in every species of animal that has any sort of brain. The sex drive, alcohol, drugs, can temporarily disable the fear mechanism —knowledge and/or compassion can transcend it.
JB, TO ON
02/27/13 6:54 PM EST
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grenouille de benitier ou rat D'église
well these word are synonyms of my frenchiness. as for johnny comment i think in general if you read the lines and in between them . johnny is simplys not afraid of neither love nor lust . and my parrot whispers tp me they would probably still feel and interact with a grizzli bear if that grizzli bear was charming. to you answering like you are at some universitarian game contest . each of your argument makes me wanna read more bukowski. and no im not mysogyne, the only thing im allergic too are hippy . but again let them be. .as in the term bigot alos means rat d'église , well if i had the choice of following the cult of a holy frog open to change to learning to love and lust. or to follow a rat d'église stating each and every word you oould to find '' faille ' ' in someone is free speech . .and to the last comment . not everybody in toronto suck in bed ahah.. . but that to say you are right . this is about hiv . and you have to make a show for yourself so rightoueouzzzz. . people should love or not. fcking gender this that . im trans has in female to male nd i still identify as a crazy old woman.. it doesnt make me less of a man . im not trans in my heart i am a cis-lover and a cis -warrior . n ok ill give you something to bitch at , my spelling mistake maybe . my lack of defining myself with how much 10 dollar a piece words who at the end of the day drops on you like a perfect shadow narrow the vision in your head. and no i dont know you . but damn your in between the lines are vacant lost. you know there was a very pregnant difference in between yoru posting and johnny from montreal' posting . johnny's had a feeling floating in them. and trust me i don't just say that bigot . im a fucking boogy not bigot. still i got . f.e.a.r.n.o.l.o.v.e._l.u.s.t. ink on my fingers. my true apology for words that didnt really reflect the main subject.but seriously.go impress or rock your panda bear. while the other commenter can go dance w their
st-amour, the sea qc
02/27/13 8:10 PM EST
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