Because everyone needs a confidence booster every now and then, I present to you Mike Frey, who spoke in front of the Minnesota state legislative committee to give his opinion on why same-sex marriage should not be legalized. After watching this guy present his stance, your confidence will skyrocket and you'll feel like a genius in comparison. Because you are! But don't let your head get too big; my lamp is too.

Frey believes that vaginas have a "cellular tissue-based barrier" that prevents semen from entering the blood stream so straight couples cannot get AIDS. However, when gay men have sex, there is no barrier in the colon, so the semen enzymes enter the blood flow, which creates AIDS. Yes, that's AIDS, not HIV -- Frey is so advanced, he's even ahead of your immune system: