Every May, the Eurovision music contest gives us the best in Euro pop, camp and sequins. After watching Romanian Cezar's operatic vampire-realness, I think it's safe to say that he is the best thing to come from Eurovision since they introduced us to ABBA in 1776. Dracula meets Liberace in Cezar's finals performance at Sweden's Malmö Arena:

She gets drunk and cuts off all her hair, working some serious Annie Lennox realness before losing her mind (actually, her whole head) altogether in Dina Goldstein's In the Dollhouse series:

 

 

 

 

Kim Kardashian is on the cover of In Touch with the headline "Pregnant Kim's Worst Fear: HE'S GAY" like it's revelatory that Kanye West is a 'mo. Of course he's gay. You don't need a psychology degree to see that Kanye is one unhappy man dealing with self-loathing induced by repression, which makes him act like the biggest douchebag on the face of the planet. Yes, that's right. I'm saying I know Kanye West is a fag because he's a douchebag. I've seen a lot of "straight" guys like him. I've even slept with a few. Just don't tell their wives.

You can't be happy until you accept yourself. Trite and true.

My gaydar has been going off on this insecure mess since I was in the closet myself, and unlike everyone else who thinks Kanye's gay, my opinion has nothing to do with his love of fashion or his intimate relationships with certain gay men (okay, maybe a little). Mostly, my opinion is based on the look in his eyes, which tells me he is so buried in that designer closet of his, he may never be found.

I'm also pretty confident Kim Kardashian is well aware that Kanye is on the down-low. I think she's stupid, but not that stupid. I just don't think she cares. Bitch is on the cover of the tabs, ain't she? 

A source is telling In Touch that Kim has been freaking out since the Met Gala, when some of her Twitter followers started taunting her about Kanye's relationship with Riccardo Tisci, who designed the Givenchy dress she wore butchered.

“There are some facts Kim can’t deny," the source said. "Kanye has spent her entire pregnancy living close to Riccardo in the French capital and Riccardo recently purchased an apartment less than half a mile from Kanye’s in NYC’s Soho neighborhood. Kanye is obsessed with Riccardo. They have a very deep bond. They spend a lot of time together at Kanye’s apartment. Kim freaked out. If it turns out Kanye is involved with Riccardo, she will be utterly embarrassed — more so than she’s ever been in her life." 

Please. If Kim Kardashian can walk down the red carpet looking like the couch my granny died on, I doubt anything can embarrass her. 

Liberace's former lover Scott Thorson gave an interview to The New York Times from inside the Washoe County Jail after being charged with burglary and identity theft. Thorson bought $1,300 worth of computer equipment and cellphones with a credit card and licence that weren't his. His bail is set at $15,000, which he should be able to pay with the $100,000 he got for the rights to HBO's upcoming Liberace biopic, Behind the Candelabra, starring Michael Douglas and Matt Damon, based on Thorson's autobiography of the same name, but he has already spent his earnings on cars and jewellery, naturally.

Thorson is an intriguing and disturbed man who has been in and out of prison since his relationship with Liberace unceremoniously ended in 1982. He's no longer the teenaged stud who Liberace saved from abuse in the foster-care system, due to his cocaine, crack and meth addictions, and stage 3 colon cancer. Also responsible for the change in Thorson is the removal of the chin implant Liberace insisted he get when he was only 17 years old. According to Thorson, Liberace wanted a boy-toy and a son and hired a plastic surgeon to mould Thorson's face into Liberace's own image as a young man with enhanced cheek bones, a nose job and a chin implant. “I was 17 years old,” Thorson said of why he went along with the surgeries. “Liberace had taken me out of a situation with a father who was very abusive, a mother who was mentally ill. I did everything I possibly could to please this man."

Since entering the witness protection program in 1989 after testifying against a drug lord, Eddie Nash, Thorson has gone by the name Jess Marlow. It's yet another twist in the opulent and tragic story of his life, which has seen him in and out of prison and battling addictions he claims started when Liberace introduced him to the "Hollywood diet" of pills and cocaine to help him stay thin. 

Thorson has pleaded guilty to the latest charges of burglary and identity theft and has asked to be sent to a rehabilitation centre. Although Washoe County Jail has a television, it does not have HBO, so he will not be watching Behind the Candelabra. And he's bitter about it.

“All these people are getting rich from my story,” he said, “and here I sit.”