We're in the final countdown, people. Mad love to Dave, Tim and Tom - thanks for reading! I'm sure I'll find a new way to lower your brain cells somewhere else soon.

In the meantime, today is the big meet and greet! Replacement Raziel agreed to a quickie-view, and seeing as this is the first time I've seen his writing, I'm equal parts proud and delishishly delighted! Replacement Raziel is so clever, so dry and oh so... you know... it makes me feel like I'm Jennifer Lopez giving birth to a mini-Jennifer Lopez with a conjoined fraternal Mariah Carey twin sibling attached to the head. Imagine.

Meet Raziel!

Up Your Alley: Who the hell are ya and what do you do?

Replacement Raziel: I've been sitting here saying, "Who am I?" for the past 15 minutes. I don't know! I'm whoever I want to be. I write, make music and act. I'm a professional make-believer. 

UA: You are making your big debut online here at xtra.ca as its new Vancouver blogger and in print in Xtra Vancouver as the scene columnist. What should the city look forward to? 

RR: Me popping my scene-cherry all over this town. I see... glitter.

UA: What's your "scene"? Pay particular attention to the floating quotes. If you know what I mean. 

RR: My ideal scene is a DJ who makes me sweat and a dancefloor everyone’s competing to dominate.

UA: You grew up in Winterpeg and just completed film school in New York City. Why Vancouver? Why NOW? 

RR: There’s a lot of world to see. I went to a psychic on St Mark’s and she told me to go west. I didn’t want to go to LA because I don’t drive and hate the sun. So I spent my last hundred bucks on a pair of pants from Patricia Field and jumped on a Greyhound. I don’t really know why I’m here, to be honest. It just sort of happened and I’m going with it...

UA: One thing your readers absolutely NEED to know about you? 

RR: You are all entitled to my opinion!

After many months of debate, and then a few weeks of searching, I finally managed to track down Canadian triple (Quadruple? Quintuple?) threat Charlie David. He’s graciously agreed to an interview here on Xtra.ca and even wrote me while filming in Africa to confirm that he was cooking up a real doozey of an interview.

Haven’t heard of Charlie? You should brush up on your basics. He’s Canadian. He’s an entertainer – in the true sense of the word. He’s also gay and out and has been an advocate for LGBT issues for almost as long as he’s been in the spotlight.  

He’s creative. He’s handsome. He’s intelligent. He’s an artist. And I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been capital ‘J’ Jealous of this guy in the not-too-distant past.

Last summer, I finally got a chance to introduce myself to Charlie at Victoria Pride. Turns out you can add nice guy to his list of accomplishments. And now this interview…I’ve got news for you boys and girls: he’s also self-deprecating and sassy!  

It’s a pleasure to have Charlie on here. Check out his new season of Bump! on OUTtv (or LOGO if you live in the US). He’s also signed on to a new movie project called Judas Kiss. Here's what he has to say:

1) Who the hell are you and what do you do?

I’ll answer this question by who I’m not so your dear readers will be able to distinguish between the two of us.  I’m not the younger one, I’m not a poet, and I have no intention of quitting my gay jobs...

2) Which do you prefer…Bump! or Bumpits?

To prefer one would mean I’d have to choose and I’m an advocate for both.  If my hair was a little longer I’d probably use Bumpits regularly on Bump.  After all flat hair is so yesterday. Which do you prefer?  The Side View Headless Torso or the High Camera Angle Headless Torso? If you HAD to choose.

**Sean's note: High Camera Angle Headless Torso shot...<snort> obviously** 

3) Which do you prefer…Dante’s Cove or Dante’s Peak?

I don’t know what either of these things are...But I do like Brazilians.  The people not the waxing and preferably the males.

4) Okay, now let’s get to business…Canadian…and gay…AND from Saskatchewan. How have these three things helped or hindered your career?

The Canadian card is always a winner.  Definitely two thumbs up and an advantage in so many professions... From inventors of helpful thing-a-ma-jigs like the telephone and space ship go-go gadget arms to Dog Sled Enthusiast to Zamboni driver to world class Gaylebrity.  Absolutely my Canuckness got me to where I am today.  The gay – yeah, not so much.  Really being gay has nothing to do with me having shows on gay networks around the globe.  If anything my being gay has been a complete hindrance.  It would’ve been so much better if I was a breeder who just acted gay but we can’t win ‘em all eh?  I threw that ‘eh’ in for effect.  Americans LOVE it.  If you want to get bedded by an American – throw in a bunch of ‘ehs’ into your dialogue and wear mukluks.  Works for me every time. 

And if you want to confuse them – tell them you just blew in from Regina.  Actually leave that part out.  Doesn’t go over so well at gay bars.  But saying you’re from Saskatchewan always helps.  It sounds exotic.  Like Seychelles in the Indian Ocean or something... Saskatchewan... It’s so musical.   

5) When I think out gay actor, your name is one of the first that comes to mind. Is that an image that you’ve actively crafted or something that just happened while your career took shape in the entertainment industry?

A little known fact about me is that I’m an organist.  Pipe organs, church organs, organs in funeral homes, wherever really.  Growing up I won medals from the Western Board of Music... Twice.  I realize this is impressive.  Somewhere along the path towards Organic Superstar – someone found out I was gay and MADE me act.  It was never a plan of mine.  If anything I feel like a broken mound of pedal stops, ivory keys and brass pipes strewn across the jagged rocks of life.  Thanks for bringing that up...  Heartless asshole...

6) My younger sister taught LGBT at risk youth at the Harvey Milk School in Manhattan for a number of years. Her students knew I was a gay writer in Canada and gave her copies of Dante’s Cove to send to me as a Christmas gift, which is the first time I had heard of you. The choices you`ve made as an actor are now influencing a new generation of lesbians and gays – which is something not many actors can claim. How does it feel to be a role model?

The fact that you’ve placed role model and Dante’s Cove in the same paragraph frightens me slightly.  And it’s not because there are witches and warlocks in our show... Actually maybe that’s exactly why.  Honestly I’ve had and continue to have a ridiculously ludicrous and fantastic life.  I hope in some small way I can be an example that life doesn’t end when you come out of the closet – that’s when it really begins. (Cue Music) I think the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is an excellent example of that. Think about it...  Or go watch an episode of Dante’s Cove and try say Role Model thirty times without laughing.  That’ll be a fun game too.

7) Now for one of my biggest personal fears…How did it feel to cut all your hair off?

Are you high right now?  Get over it Priscilla.  It’s just hair.  What do you want me to say?  That I mourned for nearly a month?!  That I stopped eating but still gained weight?  That every time I looked at my collection of high priced conditioners in the shower I cried a little?  Is THAT what you want to hear?  You heartless, tattoo’d freak! Just because you still have yours you think you can point out those of us who’ve shorn our locks!?  Is this freakin’ interview over yet... Who are you anyway?  Where do you get off being so insensitive and mean?

8) I did some polling on Facebook and Twitter recently. A few people wrote and asked me to ask you about your production company – Border2Border Entertainment – and your Vancouver-based talent agency: CTM International Enterprises Inc.  How has actively becoming involved in the business side of the entertainment industry changed your career?

It’s made me wealthy beyond comprehension.  

9) Another question from Twitter: how did you get so goddamn beautiful?

Don’t even try to suck up to me now you little skater punk. 

10) Actor, boy band member, books-on-tape-reader, writer, fashion designer, producer, theatre performer, talent agent …Which do you prefer most and why?

Ugggh... I’ve already told you.  Organist.  I just do everything else because I had a horrible accident in 1997 when a manicurist jabbed me with a file – in my right index finger – thereby leaving me a casualty and unable to breathe musicality into the organ ever again.

11) What advice to you have for guys and girls who are looking to get into the industry and be out?

If you feel comfortable doing things like this: http://www.homorazzi.com/article/see-sean-and-robs-penis/ Then full steam ahead. Welcome to the wonderful world of entertainment my friends!

12) Where can people learn more about you and your work?

There’s a museum currently under construction in my hometown in Saskatchewan but until it’s completed in 2032 probably my websites are the best places to troll around...

        www.charliedavid.com
        www.border2border.ca
        www.mulligansthemovie.com
        www.bumptv.com

13) What’s next for Charlie David?

Some more books, some more travel, some more movies, some more boys, some more big adventures – bring it on.  I love my big gay job...

I loves me that Miss Cotton and whilst setting up a proper YouTube channel the other week, I stumbled across her channel and fell in love with her most recent Cotton Quick! Hilariosity. Surely.

Oh Cotton Venus! Here's her first Cotton Quick! followed by a more recent version. How do you feel about Cotton appearing in an Xtra Xposed?? Let me know.

Cody Cummings? That name probably rings a bell. It better because he's the medical professional who is helping me fix my back. Yeah yeah. Nobody likes a whiner. But until your vertebrae actually pop out of allignment, you have no idea how much it affects everything you do - from sitting in a chair to walking down the street to sleeping at night.It's sort of like food poisoning. Until it happens to you, you have no idea how bad it is.

Doesn't that look good? DOESN'T IT?

When Xtra.ca asked me to start doing these profiles, I was focused on a certain type of gay and lesbians. What I learned from Don't Quit Your Gay Job is that we are in every industry and every type of job possible. Which is why it's my pleasure to profile this guy:

1) Who the hell are you and what do you do?

Simple questions to which there are no simple answers. For starters, I am Cody Cummings, RMT.  I have been practicing as a Registered Massage Therapist since 2003.   I am currently in my third year of studies at the Canadian College of Osteopathy.  I am also a certified yoga instructor (hatha, power).

2) What is Osteopathy and how is it different from massage therapy or seeing a chiropractor?

This is a really hard question to answer.  As therapists, even if we were trained similarly, we would all take a different approach to treatment.  And that approach changes for each individual client.  I think what they all have in common is that they all seek to help people function better.

A visit to a RMT, Osteopath, or a Chiropractor should all include assessment, treatment, and in some way inform the client on what they can do to improve him or herself.  These are elements they all use to build a treatment plan. These things should happen with each and every visit.

I think Osteopathy is really special and unique.  Osteopathy looks at each structure in the body, and seeks to balance it with all the surrounding structures and with the body as a whole unit. We try to get everything centered.  The work is done using the clients own movement patterns.  This allows the effects to be more profound and long lived.

3) How difficult is it to work in the wellness industry in Vancouver?

I love what I do.  I worked really hard to become an RMT and I’m really dedicated to my current Osteopathic training.  I get to do a job I love and feel like I’m helping people. 

We don’t get thanked enough as a society.  In my job that is not an issue.  I think it would be difficult to be a tow truck driver.  Everyone hates that guy! 

4) What are the biggest assumptions people make about you and your work?

The assumption that if a massage does not hurt, that it’s not doing anything is a really unhealthy stereotype. This is simply not true. I can work on the deepest structures in the body and use only light pressure.  I can be very specific, effective and efficient with very light touch.  It’s about working smarter not harder!

5) What kind of clients do you currently treat?

I treat the general public.  I have a fairly even male/female client base.  It’s difficult to nail down what segment of the population I work with; it’s a real mixed bag.

6) Do you find yourself with a higher than average number of gay clients?

It does not matter to me what the sexual orientation of my clients is.  I work out of two locations.  Glow Acupuncture and Wellness Centre is a clinic where I rent a room. I also work out of Spruce Body Lab.  Spruce Body Lab is owned by a couple well-known in the community.  I do get to work with a larger segment of the gay population there then I do at Glow. 

7) How difficult is it to be out in the health care industry?

It really should not matter to clients if their therapist is gay, strait, male, or female. 

My sexual orientation does not come into play with my job.  Though outside my practice, I think it’s helped me understand people better. For gay and lesbian clients, I feel that I have an intimate understanding of what they have gone through growing up, the process of coming out of the closet and also issues related to aging as a gay man or lesbian woman. 

Every experience leaves a different impression on a client's body and I'm here to help clients through that process.

8) Would you recommend a career in wellness to anyone who might be currently considering one?

I would.  I would also recommend some business knowledge. Being a therapist, you can only work however much your body will let you.  Your earning potential is somewhat limited unless you are willing to undertake opening your own space and renting it out to other practitioners, or become highly specialized and teach workshops.

Otherwise, absolutely!  Go through training to become a therapist.  It’s a really unique opportunity.

9) Where can people find out more information about you and your services?

I’m working on a personal website. It will be up soon. For the time being, you can get info online at www.glowellness.com or www.sprucebodylab.com.

10) How can people contact you if they’re interested in your services?

I can be reached by phone at Glow (778) 786-2517, or at Spruce (604) 683-3220. Book an appointment and come see me for a consultation!