Photo by Brandon Gaukel of Isolde N Barron and the glamorous profile of Jaylene Tyme. 

Host Isolde N Barron is back from a safari in South Africa (and I don't just mean from giving a blowjob to a South African with an overgrown bush). After all that outdoorsy adventure, I bet her delectable freckles are popping like champagne corks (or, er, other things) will be tonight! She's doing the countdown, so you're going to want to get to The Cobalt (917 Main St) before midnight or hope to god that the Queen of the Eastside isn't wearing her horns!

Here's what Queer Bash: End of Days vs Glamour Gays has in store for you:

Meet your maker or Booty Shaker?
The Mayans were Right or Club Kid Fight?
Apocalypse or Fierce lips?

Your favourite DRESS UP MESS UP is back to usher in a New Year!!! So dress the hell up in your glamour or your grim. 

Featuring your favourite Cobalt sound machine
DJ JEF LEPPARD
And a familiar face to queerbashers, DJ G-LUV!

With performances by
The Queen of East Van ISOLDE N. BARRON
The Queen of Gorelesque BLOODY BETTY
The Patron Saint of East Van JAYLENE TYME
Come dance and sweat your faces off with the sexiest homo dancefloor in town! 

I have four tickets to give away for the Sad Mag Queer Culture Awards and Show on Thursday, Nov 3 at The Cobalt (917 Main St). I'm going to give away two tickets to two different winners, and all you have to do is email the names of the cover stars (below) to blitzandshitz@xtra.ca. This show is going to be amazing! It's all in celebration of Vancouver and the artists who keep this town alive.

So name these bitches:

Some fierce parties are happening this weekend! Here's the to-do list:

On Friday, Oct 7, come celebrate one year of the "new" Oasis (1240 Thurlow St) with their anniversary party, Uno. Oasis is continuously the most popular place for the gays or the fags or whatever you wanna call 'em to spend their Fridays. Performances by my girls Peter Breeze, Raye Sunshine and Syren! 

DJ Adam Dreaddy has been getting me excited about a relaunch of Fag Fridays for quite some time and proves that good things come to those who wait! FF makes its debut at The Helm (1180 Howe St) Friday, Oct 7. Plan of attack? Why not check out Uno at Oasis and FF at The Helm? They're only a few blocks from each other and there's no cover at either. 

If you see me stumbling around the West End in workout clothes, it's because I plan on finishing my Friday giving my Eastside boys some love at Body Break Spit at the Anza (3 West 8th Ave). Dress-up party! Need I say more? 

 

The Eastside has it going on this weekend! On Saturday, Sept 3, celebrate 100 years of the Cobalt with a block party:

The winner of Blitz & Shitz's Queer Bash: Pride Farewell two-ticket giveaway (valued at $40) is Matt Bzdel, for his hilariously original and inspired obituary. Check it out (below), and I hope to see you all Sunday, July 31 at The Cobalt for the last Queer Bash. I'm already drinking my tears!

It is with utmost sorrow that we announce the passing of Miss QB, paragon of parties, diva of debauch. She was drunkenly riding her bicycle home when her feather boa got caught in the chain, sending her soaring through the air, shiny as a shooting star, right into a speeding car. Lying on the road, she reflected upon her life: flocks of fairies prancing, sexy sultry swaggers, nights of endless dancing, tummies full of Jäger, endless ass-squeezes and contracted diseases. Threesomes, foursomes, pour some more, son, 'til sunrise and then some. And thus, with no regrets, Miss QB shuts her shimmering eyes, dead upon the road. Her empire ends under empyrean. Now where ought all the 'mos to go? 

-Matt Bzdel