Since my last posting on gay couples having twins was such a HUGE hit, boyfriend Steve has convinced me that Ricky Martin and Doogie Howser are probably going to be hot on this one too:

Ricky Martin has released his autobiography and I can tell you already, the only way I'm going to read this thing is if Ricky Martin comes over to my place and reads it to me naked and eats bon bons with me after. You can see some samples from the book here.

In other news, Cassius has released a new album. Well, that's not really news, but the video for "I Love You So" is pretty fun and it's a great track:

If you didn't catch yesterday's review of Acme Cafe, check it out here and then check out the comments section. It was all caused by this. Don't let people slinging mud at me distract you from the facts: Acme Cafe serves really good pie. Yum!

Anyway, in an effort to find some sort of humour in the situation, I did some analysis.

• If that blog was a street corner, it would've received approximately 13,147 visits since June 2004.
  
• That's about 6 visits per day, not counting the self-visit to check if other people were, in fact, visiting or ignoring this corner for other more exciting locales.

ANALYSIS: That's not a very busy street corner and certainly doesn't look like any corner I've seen in the Downtown Eastside.

Anyway, in tough times like these, I look to my idols for advice. Yesterday, I once again found myself asking... myself.... Sean, what would Ricky Martin do?

Well, we all know the answer to that:

This is what the bottom of the barrel looks like. With role models like these, how am I ever going to mend my alleged sex pig ways?

My little Kiki just turned into a man. If you didn't hear the news, Icky Martin came out yesterday via a message he posted on his website. And if you don't care, I don't blame you because I don't really care either. I don't mean to be a bitch, but the only bombas Ricky is dropping nowadays are probably directly related to his protein intake. Shit girl. Literally.

Still, I had a small crush on Kiki back in the early 2000s, when Hispanic panic hit pop music big time: Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony, Enrique Iglesias and, of course, La Martin.

So here's an Up Your Alley tribute to the man behind the man behind the singer who needs to release something good to re-kickstart his career (duet with Bear Force?)

And who could forget that beach day he spent with his brother? Note the anklet... which in my experience indicates a 100% chance of homosexuality.

You go, girl!