Chaz was on the chopping block on Dancing with the Stars this week, after receiving low scores for the second week in a row. But thanks to his mama, who tweeted, "God hope Chaz holds on till next week so I can come sit in the Audience & Watch," voters pulled through and Chaz will be back for another dance!

First of all, Cher is the cutest tweeter in the universe. I love how she puts unnecessary spaces between words and exclamation marks, and randomly capitalizes certain words for no apparent reason. She may look like she could be my sister, but the bitch types like my grandma!

After finding out he'd be back for another week, Chaz tweeted (slightly more sensibly), "This is the most amazing experience. #SAFE #DWTS... I wish I could thank each & every one of you personally for your votes. YOU are the reason @LaceySchwimmer & I are DANCING AGAIN next week!!"

I think the real reason, dear Chaz, is that all the gays hoping to get Cher in the audience were voting maniacally with their new iPhone 5 iPhone 4S. Okay, let's digress for just a second: my Facebook feed was exploding with iPhone posts yesterday. You crazy mofos were more excited about a new phone than I would be over a bucket full of diamonds floating in vodka. 

Anyway, the point of all this is that Cher will be sitting on her throne in the audience this week, which means at long last there will be an actual star on Dancing with the Stars!

Okay, so some people are freaking the fuck out over nothing Chaz Bono being on the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars. Exactly as the producers expected/hoped, I'm sure. TMZ (so, you know, the legitimate press) have put a poll on their website, where readers can vote their opinions to certain Chaz-related questions. If you answer the questions, you can see the results. As of today, here's where the world stands on Chaz Bono and Dancing with the Stars.

1. It's wrong for Chaz to dance with a woman: 75% say no, 25% say yes.

2. Chaz will screw up young kids who watch: 74% say no, 26% say yes.

3. ABC is guilty of cheap pandering: 30% say no, 70% say yes.

4. Chaz is a good role model: 57% say no, 43% say yes.

5. More brilliant booking? 53% say Chaz, 47% say Nancy Grace.

6. Chaz will be eliminated: 53% say fourth, 39% say first, 8% say he'll win.

7. DWTS has no business promoting social agendas: 65% say yes, 35% say no.

8. Chaz will make viewers more tolerant: 57% say yes, 43% say no.

These are my answers:

1. No, dancing is never wrong.

2. Not as much as their parents.

3. Yes, welcome to show business.

4. He is smart, brave and passionate. Why wouldn't you look up to him?

5. Chaz, of course. The woman who created the catch phrase "Tot Mom" deserves to suffer a long and painful death.

6. I hope he wins!

7. Everyone (including television show creators) has a right to express themselves and their points of view in any way they choose, so long as they're not hurting anyone.

8. Hell, yes. And bless him for it.

Go Chaz go!

Chaz Bono will be the first transgender contestant on Dancing with the Stars when he appears on the 13th season of the hit show. I've never watched it because I need all the brain cells that I can get. I do know that Kirstie Alley lost a ton of weight when she appeared, and, no offence to Chaz, it would be great if he could shed a few, too. I want him to be healthy so he can be around for a long time! He's such a pioneer.

I'm not the only one excited about Chaz's participation in the show. Herndon Graddick, senior director of programs for GLAAD, told RadarOnline, "At a time when transgendered representation in the media is sorely lacking, Chaz Bono joining the cast of a series like DWTS would be a tremendous step forward for the public to recognize that transgender people are a wonderful part of the fabric of American culture."

Congratulations, Chaz, not only on your new dancing gig, but also on the three Emmy nominations you received for your documentary Becoming Chaz. You're an inspiration to us all! 

I love Chaz Bono! He is so cool and brave and such a formidable pioneer for gender-identity issues. I'm just a little concerned about his recent interview with E! News, where he told a reporter that he'd "love to talk to Brad and Angelina about Shiloh." I'm certain Chaz has nothing but good intentions, but bringing such public attention to Shiloh's sexuality/gender before Shiloh herself has grown and developed enough to do some self-evaluation could prove more detrimental than helpful.

I'm reminded of the ninth grade, when my butch lesbian gym teacher came up to me and suggested I join the gay-straight alliance (basically a homo club) that met once a week during lunch hour. At the time I was in the "bisexual phase" of coming out (the last stop before Raging 'Moville), but had told only my close friends. The point is, even though my gym teacher meant no harm and probably saw a gay boy struggling to find himself and wanted to reach out to give him a place where he might feel less isolated, my face still turned crimson, and I wanted to die of embarrassment. I simply wasn't ready. It was mortifying to me that a teacher would bring my sexuality to attention (even if it was the gay-straight alliance, she wasn't going around asking all the straight kids to join), so ultimately, all she accomplished, despite her heart being in the right place, was to make me feel bad about myself.

I think what Shiloh needs is time and space to grow up to be the person she's destined to be. She's four years old! Let her pick her nose and eat it for a while before we start demanding that she figure out whether she wants to crunch on a cock or munch on a muff when she grows up. Maybe then Chaz will be the perfect influence for the young Jolie-Pitt. But let's let her enjoy those tasty boogers for a while, shall we?

Chaz's book Transition: The Story of How I Became a Man, is in stores today.