The 2011 VMAs were held last night. Lady Gaga, appearing as Jo Calderone, opened the show with a performance inspired by the late comedian Lenny Bruce. I was nervous for her during her opening speech, but she kept it together, even if it did seem a little self-indulgent. Her performance of "You and I" that followed was incredible (as always). Although her voice wasn't at its absolute best, she sang live and gave full theatrics.

Who the fuck is Kevin Hart, and who wrote his standup? Was he coked out? That shit was uncomfortable to watch. Lady Gaga slipping on her spilled beer was more amusing.

Gaga presented Britney Spears with the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard award for her lifetime achievement in pop music. I thought the idea was sweet, but I wasn't really into the Spears look-alikes dancing to a medley of her hits. With all the rumours and speculation surrounding the tribute, I was hoping for more (as in Madonna). I know a lot of people have rolled their eyes about Britney getting this award, but I think it's well deserved. She has dominated pop music since the late '90s and has solidified herself as an icon of her time.

My two favourite performances were Beyoncé's "Love on Top" and Chris Brown's "Yeah 3x" and "Beautiful People." Bey sounded amazing as she showed off her baby bump, and Chris's dancing was beyond incredible. If you've read my previous posts, you know I've taken issue with Chris Brown's violent and homophobic antics, but there is no denying that boy can move. 

I wasn't crazy about Adele's performance of "Someone Like You." She sounded okay, but I thought her nerves might've gotten the better of her. It is truly a beautiful song. Jay-Z and Kanye killed it, as did Lil Wayne. The most disappointing performance of the night was probably Bruno Mars' Amy Winehouse tribute. It sounded great, but I thought Amy deserved a grander adieu from MTV.

For me, the win of the night was Tyler, the Creator as Best New Artist. He seemed genuinely blown away, and there's something special about seeing someone's dream come true on live TV. Plus, did you see his mama freaking the fuck out? Too cute.

What did you think of the show? 

Do you remember Chris Crocker (or maybe now it's Chris Cocker), the crossdressing queen who wanted you to leave then-bald-and-beautiful Britney Spears alone? If you've been living at the bottom of the Red Bull can that's been rolling around the back of Brit's car since 2007 and haven't seen the clip, check it out (below). According to Queerty, Chris has been offered his first porn gig, starring in Cockstar, by director Chi Chi LaRue, alongside Brent Everett. I don't know why anyone would watch this film. Having heard Chris whine like a little bitch in his YouTube videos, I know that he makes ears bleed so much that he could never get a dick hard.

Check out the just released director's cut of Britney's infamous music video for "Gimme More" (below) off her 2007 hit record Blackout. This vid brought me back. Is it wrong that I miss the shaved head and Red Bull?

My girl Britney plays the Rogers tomorrow! I can't wait! Watch this video (below) for a good laugh, and fall even more in love with the ever-articulate pop princess. 

I LOL'ed during the press conference sequence at the beginning. I want her ripped jeans. She is so fucking hot. The product placement is better played than in the "Hold It Against Me" video. She looks like she's having fun! Only nine more days until Britney brings her Femme Fatale Tour, with Nicki Minaj as the opening act, to Vancouver on July 1!!