Okay okay. I dropped the ball(s) last Friday on the Abtastic. I apologize. Talk about anti-climactic. We're all entitled to have a Glitter moment every now and then.

To recap for those of you just joining me now: 

After years of spinning my wheels in the gym, on New Years Day 2009 I decided to finally commit to a fitness program with the goal of having a six-pack at the end of 16 week program. After 10 years of pretty consistent weight training, I decided to cut out the first 4 weeks of LL Cool J's Platinum Workout and see how much I could do on my own without a personal trainer.

Yeah yeah maybe I've always had a little something for LL. Has work out plan...well, it's been something. To be honest, I had a hard time following the cardio requirements and at the beginning of March, I pushed my body too far and--exhausted--I caught a wicked flu which cost me some serious gym time. DON'T OVERTRAIN. I also had a Mexicoma in February and salmonella poisoning in April. All of which = my fair share of challenges sticking to this program.

*Oh yea - thanks to my sister Lindsay for taking the majority of photos posted here over the past 16 weeks.

Here's Week 0 back at the start of January:

From then to now, I've had to buy a complete new wardrobe - none of my old clothes fit anymore, including underwear. I've started to get some gigs here and there requiring me to wear nothing but underwear. Successful work out plan? Girl, you know it's true.

I'm not saying I'm finished at the gym, but for the purposes of posting the ab quest here, I am ready to move onto greener pastures here on UYA. So for the finale, here are some shots at Week 17 and a photo from the talented and hot Christine McAvoy at Xtra's recent Hero Awards. Check out her website and hire her already. Love her.

Here goes:

Thanks to Christine McAvoy for this:

In the spirit of Miss Manners, I'm enlisting the help of Mister Manners to answer questions I've received from readers and from friends over the past 8 months . Enjoy.

Dear Mister Manners,

Whilst out the other night, after some drinks and some dancing with a group of friends, one of my friends suggested we go back to his place and fuck. I am not attacted to this friend, nor am I particularly interested in having sex with him. I generally don't like having sex with people I am not attracted to. Despite this, I felt guilty for saying no because he has slept with a lot of my other friends and if everyone else is doing it, shouldn't I?

Is there something wrong with me?

Gentle Reader: When you find yourself in this situation again (as you surely will), think to yourself: What Would Mister Manners Do? Or WWMMD? No, this doesn't stand "When whoring, make men douche." Nor does it stand for any other potential mishmash of clever words that begin with those letters. It`s only an acronym for "What Would Mister Manners Do?" - which, from the sounds of it, is a question you and a lot of other people should be asking yourself frequently.

Mister Manners is just going to say what everyone is thinking: you are clearly a cock tease.

Now that we've dealt with that, here's some reading for you: http://www.xtra.ca/public/National/Up_with_sluts-6224.aspx. This article came up during a recent search of xtra.ca for coverage on the Hero Awards recently hosted by Xtra! West in Vancouver. Mister Manners was confused at how the SEO keywords related, but read this piece with interest and deduced the following: if the sluts are still successfully lobbying LGBT media outlets everywhere with a free-spirited call to arms, how should the prudes respond?

When you find yourself in the my-promiscuous-friend-is-horny situation again, Mister Manners advises you to tell this friend to go fuck themselves, which may just be one of the most practical double entendres in your newly expanded repitoire. You may also be self-righteous or dramatic and say something like: "You don't know me!" 

Remember: being queer doesn't mean you have fuck every guy or girl you make eye contact with. Nor does it mean that it's okay for strangers to grope you in bars just because they are also gay and in a gay bar (personal pet peeve).

Is there something wrong with you? No. Say no when you mean no. And sometimes, say no even when you don't mean it to keep life interesting.

________________________   

Wow. Good advice.

In other news: I am going to retire the Abtastic Quest. Sad, I know, but after 16 weeks, I am almost done the program and think that it's run its course. Many thanks to LL Cool J and his Platinum Workout.

I leave you with this single photo from the recent Hero event put on by Xtra! West. If you devote 16 weeks to personal fitness, will people ask you to parade around in your underwear...it`s likely. I was trophy boy for the night and had a great time.

Congrats to Ryan and good luck to anyone currently embarking on a fitness quest.

So it turns out not really eating for four days is a lot like mono. The second best diet ever? You be the judge...no, wait a minute, you won't be this week. I'm not really feeling like posting photos of myself in light of what may be salmonella poisoning. I hope you understand.

In other news, I was sitting in the waiting room at the clinic on Davie by Shoppers Drug Mart yesterday afternoon waiting to see a doctor when a man with no underwear on (don't ask me how I could tell because you really don't want to know) walked into the clinic with a bag of urine and after shouting for a bit at the nurse at the counter, he sat down on table covered with magazines and started emptying the urine bag all over the floor.

Contrary to what my friend Amanda thought, the nurse did not slam the phone down angrily and tell him, "You're really PISSING ME OFF!" - though I wish the nurse had.

-----------------------

"The News" is really going for it nowadays:

Último Guerrero (real name unknown) is a Mexican Luchador enmascarado (Spanish for masked professional wrestler). I may or may not have seen him in la Ciudad earlier this year. The experience left me wondering: would I cut the mustard as a Lucha Librador?

I'm thinking no...but it was worth a try.

Waited and waited for some photos from my friend DJ, but he's having some problems getting them off his camera, so these will have to do for now. Hate to admit that 13 weeks into this program, I sorta dropped the ball last week. Didn't do any cardio. And didn't follow the weight lifting plan exactly either. Back on track tomorrow when I'm back in Vancouver tomorrow. Filming should be starting for me and my buddy Rob at the end of April. Still got some progress to make.

Hope you had a great Easter weekend.