I'm sure you can all relate to the following clip from Arrested Development:

More on my huge mistake coming to you next week.

Now on to other abdominal-related things.

Do you know what happens when you type "story" into Google images? You get this:

Last week, I offered to tell you another reason why I'm doing this ab challenge via a story. If my story causes the above to happen to your face, I apologize. Nobody needs their regular face replaced with that of a blue man group "actor" who apparently has an AT&T logo instead of a proper left eyeball. NOBODY. Nor do they need a pair of mysterious keyhole earrings and a bad case of wire-head.

Back when the world wide web was brand spanking new, where, Pre-Google, nerdy teens like me used search engines called Sympatico and Altavista (altashutyourmouth?), I "stumbled" across a website (think Trinagate aka West Vancouver mom "stumbling" upon a copy of BUTT magazine in a sealed backpack in a store display, where the magazine just happened to "flip open by itself" to a portrait of two men rimming)...anyway, I "stumbled" across a website called See Me Get Big. It was an online fitness journal of this guy from San Diego who posted pictures of himself every week. The twist was that he had a goal to drop from 250lbs to 190lbs and bulk up with muscle. He also used the site to showcase his mad sewing skills and every week, designed and modelled his own line of underwear and speedos.

This guy was the reason I started lifting weights. I checked his site every week for about two years. And it was really cool to watch him set a goal and achieve it. And on the flipside, show me an average gay male teen and you'll be showing me a teenager who's dreams are haunted by colourful speedos and buff men.

Abtastic 2009 is my salute to that early internet pioneer. Thank you, 1990s stranger, for keeping me company during what was a confusing and very frustrating time for yours truly.

Here's this week's shots. Things are shaping up on Week 3. I'd like to give a shout out to Micah, Troy, Ryan and the rest of the staff at Davie Fitness World. You guys rock.

Ah what the hell, here are some bedroom eyes:

And here's a W O W just because I love you:

**Reminder: come down and check out the next round of Vancouver's Next Gay Top Model 2009 tonight at Score. The contestants will be modeling sports wear and I've heard there may be additional eliminations, though no promises. Show starts at 8pm. And on separate note, afterwards, come down to Celebrities to see who gets crowned "Entertainer of the Year"**

Last Sunday, Vancouver's Next Gay Top Model 2009 held a Winter Wonderland night at Pulse and this year's hopefuls were required to wear white (see my previous coverage of VNGTM 2009 here and while you're at it, check out Trevor Ellestad's reviews here and here. He's a fantastic writer and will be covering VNGTM on his Stinkwallet blog for the course of the competition). Photos follow below and come courtesy of Terry Costa, Mirateca and the mad photographic skills of Chad Walters.

The bold, beautiful, ballsy and, in some cases, bespectacled young men took the stage to DJ Marty Funkhauser's superior spinning skills and regaled the audience with quick Q&As. We were also treated to a Go-Go performance by the saucy and delicious Starlen Gold. For the record, Miss Cotton killed it as our MC. I am falling in love. You are gorgeous, baby! GORGEOUS! 

DJ and fellow audiophile Marty Funkhauser. First this guy will take over your club...and then your heart. Sigh.

Damn that Starlen Gold straight to sexy hell!

Just when I was thinking there weren't enough saucy minxes in this town, Miss Cotton tumbled into my life. Oh, sexy she-devil in heels...Take me, but be gentle.

Now I'd like to give you a little snapshot of what my life is like somedays. To judge or not to judge. Judge lest ye be judged, which therefor makes judging just for those who are both jurisprudent and unapologetically judgemental etc etc...so on and so forth. Amen.

Unfortunately, this week we lost Daniel:

and Brent:

And finally, here are your semi-finalists: 

Haha - just kidding.

Just saw Slumdog Millionaire...loved how the story unfolded, loved the concept, loved the actors and loved the cinematography...but wait a minute, was it just me or was the last five minutes of the film just a little bit...you know...not as good as the start?

Anyway. Here's something you should give that friend who swoops in after you've laid all the groundwork with someone new and ends up taking them home after ditching you at the club without saying goodbye:

Note: You should also give that friend a punch in the face. These lovely calling cards are for sale at Orange32 and here's the write up:

Blocker Cards
 
Wether you are a guy or a girl, it's happened to you before. When the cockblock goes down simply reach in your wallet or bag and hand out this card to the perp, hopefully they get the hint and step the hell off. If they don't we suggest wearing our cool PUNCH Tee to help the perp make a better decision!!! By the way, the guy in the pic is our friend Kevin and if you don't buy these cards we're gonna send him to every place you hang out, for real!!! Package includes 25 cards.  

Here's Kevin:

I love the Golden Girls. A buddy of mine sent me this video (Pistol Youth's "In Your Eyes" - it's like classic Weezer). And since I love Golden Girls, I love this video, especially since they lifted the infamous Maestro, how about a little something with some more OCTANE! danceoff scene between Blanche, Dorothy and Rose:

Pistol Youth - In My Eyes from Pistol Youth on Vimeo.

Hubba hubba. That's what I'm talking about.

Check back tomorrow for a review of the most recent Vancouver's Next Gay Top Model 2009 update.

It's a quicky...and there ain't no shame in that. Many thanks to my buddy Shane at Queer Two Cents for this week's hotness.

You know, it's funny. Some weekends go by with nary a mention of fisting to be had and then you have weekends where every second word out of someone's mouth involves fist, fists, fisty, fisted, fister, fisting or fistings.

(Thanks to Towleroad and Sheppard Fairy for the image)

In other Obama related news, a reader submitted this for consideration the other day:

Can you spot the fists in this crowd?

More importantly: if I PDA falls from the hand of a teenager in a large crowd of teenagers holding PDAs, would anyone actually care?