So maybe she's in the middle of a divorce. Is there any more fittingtime to take the stage with two apartment building-sized glowing M'sflanking your every move? And maybe they changed colours all night long— from red to pink to lighter pink and then back to red again. Maybethere were frequent shouts of "Gay-eh-eh-eh" and maybe the crowd in theupper tiers brought the wave back to kill time before Madonna took thestage around 9:30 pm.

M-dolla gave Vancouver one giant "Mmm" last night and mmm-hmm, it wasso good, that BC Place ran out of liquor an hour after the showstarted. Does this happen during BC Lions games? I doubt it.

On to more important things. Newsflash: Madonna is and always will bethe icon's icon. Not only does she sing every song live, she also singsand dances at the same time, hard to believe when confronted by theBritneys (mostly a dancer) and Mariahs (mostly a singer) of today's popmusic scene.

During "Heartbeat" from her latest album Hard Candy, La Ciccone tookcentre stage for a rhythmic breakdown and showed her legion ofVancouver fans that she can booty shake crunk-style like a 20-year-oldfreestyler from So You Think You Can Dance. If you want proof of aconsummate performer, YouTube that clip and prepare to be surprised. 

Xtra.ca will be posting an online review of the Madonna concert today. I will post that on the blog as soon as it's available.

In the meantime, I need a moment: there are few things I hate more in life than the types of things people write during instant messaging coversations, particularly:

kewl   -> Oooo I hate this so much it makes me it makes me want to punch myself in the face just for blogging about it and then tackle the impossible task of popping out my eyeballs out of my skull while using something soft and formless like a jello pudding cup.

I also hate:

a) emoticons;

b) prince-inspired abbreviations like u and 2; and 

c) both 'lol' and "LOL"

For the record, Lol is the woman who went through the Creative Writing Program at UVic with my sisters. She wasn't funny, though did frequently laugh out loud, often at inappropriate times during serious literary readings.

Mister Manners says: If you can't type something properly, don't fucking type it at all.

Here's something else to remember:

 Amen!

...and hot off a coup with Destineak, I am upset that you didn't ask me to participate in your new music video. Listen: yes, my shirtless bit is getting old, but I would do anything for you, Mariah. ANYTHING.

Here's the video for I Stay in Love....it's everything you may expect...and then maybe less....and then more...and then some glitter.

So you can imagine my surprise...hanging out with my Torontonian friend "Greco-Italian Dave" tonight, I learned something new and unexpected, which doesn't happen as much nowadays as it should. Which, as per earlier admission of surprise, is surprising because according to popular opinion, Toronto isn't here to surprise.

Toronto has a reputation. No, it's not the punchy-stabby-shooty reputation that has rocked the Toronto Star every day since I came here, but rather, the reputation that has haunted Toronto since the days of yesteryear. Toronto the Gray. Toronto the Blue. Toronto the Abstainer. Toronto the Anti-Sextite.

Despite this reputation, whilst sitting at a local "watering hole" later in the evening, I learned that "Going Greek" does not mean:

1) Ordering souvlaki and actually pronouncing it as "souvlaki" opposed to "slouvaki" or "that bready thing with chicken and garlic sauce"

2) Having a penchant for handsome men and/or women of Grecian descent

3) Forsaking North American pleasures for a sun-kissed island in the middle of the Adriatic and/or Aegean Sea. 

4) Choosing a fraternity or sorority in hopes of meeting the men and women described in #2

No no..."Going Greek" means none of these things. Apparently, as indicated by urbandictionary.com, it means: 

1.	going greek	47 up, 31 down
	to fuck a girl or guy in the ass using olive oil for lube The chick wanted me to go greek on her ass, so I did and it was awesone. by Greek Ass Raper Aug 1, 2005 share this add comment

Many thanks to urbandictionary.com for its douchebaggary and douchebags-only example. And also: many thanks to page 46 of the local Spadina-Bloor-Dupont community paper whose name I can't remember. You have taught me many things...and nothing, all at the same time.

* What I don't know about Mac computers could fill...well, you finish that sentence as you see fit. I noticed that the photos from Tuesday Hotness are not loading, at least, not while I'm writing this post. If I can find an internet cafe tomorrow, I will fix the problem. If not, I will fix it on Thursday. I personally can't believe that Tuesday Hotness has been reduced to four ? ? ? ?. On the flipside, the book tour was a success...thanks again for your patience. Can't wait to get back to Vancouver.