Think fast: what's the worst thing you've ever done at work? Maybe you ate a co-worker's leftover pad thai, or maybe you hit "reply all" on an email you really hoped wouldn't get out. Well, no matter how badly you fucked up at work, don't feel too bad because at least you never sent out hundreds of anti-gay flyers.

Whoops.

RE/MAX agent Andrew Ciastek decided that it would be a good idea to distribute hundreds of flyers claiming that gay families are harmful to kids. Turns out, it wasn't really a good idea, and after his workplace found out about the incident, Ciastek was forced to apologize and make a charitable donation.

Const. George Tudos said the Criminal Investigation Bureau looked into the incident and spoke to Ciastek about the impact of the literature. No charges will be laid, he said.

Christine Martysiewicz, director of internal and public relations for RE/MAX Ontario-Atlantic Canada, said “the views and opinions expressed in this piece do not reflect those of RE/MAX Ontario-Atlantic Canada or our agents.”

She said Ciastek will issue a public apology and make a donation to a local charity of the company’s choosing.

Ciastek also told the Star he will apologize “because I understand some people were very hurt. It is the right thing to apologize.” [SOURCE]

I'm not sure if Ciastek is playing dumb or if he legitimately had no idea that he what he was doing was crazy bigoted, but you have to figure that at some point, you need to sit down and think about what you're doing. Especially if what you're doing involves printing out hundreds of flyers documenting your personal beliefs and then handing them out to complete strangers. That right there probably should have been a red flag. 

In a story that is just too good to be true, the website Torrent Freak (which specializes in analyzing file sharing) recently did an investigation of what members of the Vatican are currently downloading off the internet. Guess what was included on the list?

(Yes, I know I gave away the answer in the headline. Just humour me here.)

It turns out someone in the Vatican may allegedly have a predilection for porn. Specifically, porn that involves trans performers, lesbian sex and bondage. So all in all, this is probably the most human and relatable thing the Vatican has ever done.

‘Over in the Vatican, pirates are having the time of their lives downloading some quite eye-watering media. We spotted some downloads to get pulses racing. It seems that while Vatican dwellers aren’t all that interested in Hollywood movies, they do enjoy adult-related celluloid,’ the writers of Torrent Freak said.

‘There isn’t a commandment that covers these films directly, but some might argue there should be.’

Torrent Freak listed the films downloaded to an IP address, which includes a lesbian film starring trans performer Tiffany Starr.

A German title can be loosely translated as ‘Teen slave punishment games in dark basement workshop.’ [SOURCE]

Oh my god. This is so rich and delicious it just has to be fattening. I mean, these guys are only human, and god knows porn is a healthy way to channel those urges. That being said, can you still torrent movies when you live in a golden palace? You could probably just hock one of the diamond-encrusted doorknobs on Craigslist and buy yourself a year's supply of porn. All I'm saying is, when you live in one of the world's largest repositories of extravagant wealth, you can afford VOD.

Did you know there's a wrinkle cream that uses skin cells taken from foreskin? Well there is. Foreskin cream is a thing that exists and you can pay money to rub it on your face.

I swear to shit, everything I just said is true.

Apparently, the stuff must work to some degree because Oprah Winfrey, the woman your mother prays to, actually endorsed it a little while back, and not everyone was happy about that. CAN-FAP, who are probably well aware of what the term "fap" means, has come out against Oprah in the past over her endorsement of the product and is now planning on protesting her when she makes her way up to Ontario this week.

“How would Oprah respond if a skin cream for men hit the market that was made using cells from the genitalia of little girls? I think she would be absolutely disgusted and appalled, and rightly so. So it’s crazy that she’s doing the opposite,” said Glen Callender of the pro-foreskin advocacy group the Canadian Foreskin Awareness Project.

“We think it’s extremely hypocritical and distasteful that Oprah Winfrey — who is herself a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and an outspoken opponent of female genital mutilation — at the same time uses and promotes a product that wouldn’t exist if not for the forcible genital mutilation of boys,” he added. [SOURCE]

Personally, I don't really have a horse in the race, but maybe don't use the anti-aging cream that lists "foreskin" as a main ingredient. As a general rule of thumb, if the list of ingredients makes it sound like Soylent Green, maybe consider the alternative? Just putting that one out there.

[IMG SOURCE: nataliedee.com]  

Depending on whom you ask, Tom Flanagan is one of the most influential men in Canadian politics and is the father of the "Calgary school of conservatism" that gave rise to (ugh) Stephen Harper.

And here he is saying that he has doubts about jailing people for viewing child pornography. WAIT, WHAT?!

Surprisingly, there are still a whole bunch of people who aren't totally cool with child pornography, and Flanagan has since resigned amid the ensuing shitstorm that comes wtih saying that child pornography isn't all that bad:

The university announced on Thursday that Prof. Tom Flanagan, a former adviser and mentor to Prime Minister Stephen Harper, was retiring after a 45-year teaching career amid a controversy over his views on child pornography.

[...] Andrew MacDougall, a spokesman for Mr. Harper’s office, wrote on Twitter that the comments were “repugnant, ignorant, and appalling.”

Wildrose’s Ms. Smith, a onetime star student of Prof. Flanagan, condemned the remarks and effectively removed him from her inner circle. “There is no language strong enough to condemn Dr. Flanagan’s comments,” Ms. Smith said in a written statement Thursday, adding: “He will have no role – formal or informal – with our organization going forward.”

The CBC said his comments “crossed the line and impacted his credibility as a commentator for us.” It was on this network that Prof. Flanagan has made some of his other incendiary remarks, including calling for the assassination of WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange. [SOURCE]

Look, I'll be one of the first people to defend a consenting, competent adult's sex life, but that being said, children do not count as consenting, competent adults. Because they are kids. Kids who deserve to enjoy their childhood while it lasts without being sexualized by adults who should know better. Child pornography is child abuse, whether you are actively participating in it or simply witnessing it. How does that not register with you?

EDITOR COMMENT by Ken Popert

Well, it was fun getting drunk on the picture of the anti-porn pitchfork-and-torch crowd setting fire to the castle of one of their most prominent enablers.

But it’s the morning after and time to think again.

Flanagan was stating an obvious fact. To believe that simply looking at a picture can cause harm to those pictured is akin to believing that sticking a pin in the head of a doll can give someone a migraine.

Not so long ago the sex-panic mob hereabouts believed that two men or two women having sex together caused damage to someone, somewhere, somehow.

And there are still places where they believe that. Just look at the international stories reported on other pages of this very website.

So, when our enemies fall out, we should be careful about who we cheer and who we jeer.

Because trying to ban homosexuality wasn't enough, a Russian politician is currently trying to ban sex. Literally any form of sex that isn't government-mandated procreation. 

Feel free to swirl that one around a bit. Sniff its fragrant bouquet. Take a sip, swish around in your mouth, and spit it out. What does it taste like to you? Does it taste like PURE UNADULTERATED BATSHIT INSANITY? Because that's what it is.

According to the The Moscow News, Zhirinovsky proposed the radical restrictions in a live interview with Business FM Radio. "We need a different formula," he said. "Smoking is to be banned everywhere but in your own car if you close all the windows and stay there alone as well as in your own apartment if there is nobody else there. Shut all the windows and get yourself poisoned."

"We need eating restrictions. Our people are overfed and too fat. Sex should also be restricted to one time per quarter through issuing licenses, quotas or coupons," Zhirinovsky added. "People have too much sex, they eat, smoke and drink too much and die 20 years earlier. Everywhere – in Europe, America or Japan - they live longer. Why should we perish?" [SOURCE]

Wait, is this guy just rattling off a list of things that annoy him in the hopes that they'll magically disappear? Because holy shit, this is either hysterically funny or really terrifying. This is exactly why you don't let people who know absolutely fucking nothing about sex try to legislate it. Because eventually, you just end up with some A-hole trying to subvert human sexuality in favour of turning their country into a baby production facility.