In case the swarms of scantily clad leather people walking up and down Church St didn't clue you in, this weekend was Toronto Leather Pride, wherein the competition for Mr and Ms Leather Toronto were held to find new community representatives. Maybe you saw it. There was a big flashy competition and a dance, and the event was hosted by Deb Pearce and this other guy whose name I can't remember . . .

Anyway, after a thorough competition with many deserving people yearning for the titles, the new title family for 2013 consists of . . .

Robert Miller, Mr Leatherman 2013.

Youkali, Ms Leather Toronto 2013.

Peter Rex, Mr Rubber Toronto 2013.

A big congratulations to all the winners! I'm guessing that representing the entire community is something of an arduous task, but still, serving the kink community of Toronto must be pretty fun, right? Of course I'm right. Have fun, stay strong and wear a condom! 

Normally, anything posted on April 1 is a complete lie because April Fool's is a day of lies and trickery. But not this story! Toronto's own reigning Ms Bootblack, Tarna, went down to San Francisco to compete at International Mz Leather in the bootblack category, and we're proud to report that she placed first and is now the beautiful and lovely titleholder of International Ms Bootblack! So congrats, Tarna! Celebratory cupcakes await you back home in Toronto.

We're smack dab in the middle of the Toronto Bound Weekend right now, and tonight is the big night:

The Toronto Bound VIP reception is being held tonight at The Barn (418 Church St), which means a whole night of food, drinking, dancing, leather and decisions you will regret in the morning. But not me. There's nothing I love more than seeing people make the walk of shame in full leather garb. Seeing a guy walk down Carlton St in naught but a leather vest and a jock strap at nine in the morning. Amazing.

The catered reception starts at eight, and the dance starts at 10, with no cover before midnight. And of course, all those with VIP passes get to jump to the front of the line because you're important like that. And you get free coat check! So . . . bonus on that one.

Oh, and did we mention jockstrap-clad waiters? There will be jockstrap-clad waiters with leather ties. Jaunty. As. Fuck. Honestly, the leather ties really bring the whole thing together and give it a sort of Old Hollywood glamour, ya think? 

So, who has two thumbs and spent the day lying down like a bearskin rug because Toronto Leather Pride kicked his ass somethin' fierce? This bitch.

First and foremost, congrats to the big winners of the weekend: Mr Leather Toronto, Alex Canning; Bootblack, Tarna; and Mr Rubber Toronto, Gary Major. You all did an amazing job, and I can't think of anyone more deserving of the honours!

Second, a huge shoutout to everyone who came to the Toronto Leather Pride event at Zipperz and joined the impromptu flash mob that marched through the Church St Family Fair. Hopefully, it taught people that being kinky doesn't mean you don't have a family who loves and supports you. Because really, a family is just a group of people who constantly apologize to each other.

And finally, if there is one thing I learned from this weekend, it's this: while Victoria Windsor is super sweet, she's kinda badass when she needs to be. Seriously, she's adorable, but she's got more kickass in her left nipple than Chuck Norris has in his entire body. Quote that shit. 

As my mother used to say, those who fail to learn from history are destined to run for mayor of the meth capital of Alaska. While I'm sure the same doesn't really apply to leather and kink, it's probably in your best interest to brush up on your kinky history, especially since you're on only the second day of Toronto Leather Pride.

Today's lesson: the hanky code. It's a way of letting people know your sexual preferences by putting a coloured handkerchief in either your left (for tops) or right (for bottoms) back pocket. Each hanky colour or pattern represents a different kink. I'm way too lazy to post the whole list (and believe me, it's a LONG list, including houndstooth, for Christ's sake), but if Schoolhouse Rock taught me anything, it's that you can boil down complex lessons to catchy songs, so here's Peaches to sing you through the hanky code!