Can you believe that Rob Ford thought he could run from the homos by taking off to his summer cabin during Pride? Bitch, please. I think the only place in the world that doesn't have a touch of gayness on it is a little phone booth down in Little Rock, Arkansas, and I'm pretty sure a gay couple and their two golden retrievers just bought the land so they could turn it into a bed and breakfast.

Anyway, if Rob is going to hole up in his no-homo cabin and pray the gay away, we're gonna pray the gay back in. Tonight, you can find out what really happened at Rob Ford's cabin, with Paul Bellini at Sodom's Trailer Park party! Come down to Goodhandy's (120 Church St) dressed in your best white-trash getup and see what Ford was really doing at his little cottage. If I had to guess? Dropping people into his sarlacc pit. Anything other than that is just flagrant artistic liberties.

Well, this is it everyone! By 4am, we'll finally know if the crazy radio-show host was right about the rapture arriving and... Wait, what the what? Now we're taking our religious prophecies from talk-show hosts? Jesus... You might as well go to Howard Stern for religious guidance then.

Aaaaaanyway, on the off chance that this is all bullshit (or you're left behind and survive the rapture), why not come by Sodom's Hollywood Zombie party over at Goodhandy's this Saturday night? Think about it: the apocalypse is already gonna be upon us, and the dead will be roaming the earth, so you might as well take advantage of it and go out in your best blood-spattered couture.

The zombie graveyard party comes alive (so to speak) at Goodhandy's on Church St when the doors open at 10pm. Cover is $7 before 11pm and $10 after. If you're a ticketholder to the Bruce LaBruce documentary The Advocate of Fagdom you"ll get in for free, which is a pretty sweet deal. Be sure to come dressed as your favourite undead celebrity, and I should probably mention right now that not everyone needs to come as zombie Lady Gaga. See you there, unsaved sinners!