In case you've somehow managed to avoid any form of media or human contact for the past few days, you probably weren't aware that there's this little case going down involving the US Supreme Court discussing whether the Defense of Marriage Act, which federally bans gay marriage, is constitutional. Kind of a big deal and such.

Well, it's been everywhere for the past few days, and for good reason: it's a landmark case that would serve as the culmination of decades of LGBT rights advocacy, not to mention that it would clear up a shitload of legal confusion surrounding the issue.

But not everyone is thrilled with it. Joe Concha, of Mediaite, would like you all to know that he's not homophobic or anything, but he wants you to shut up about it because it's all just so exhausting for him. The world's tiniest violin simply will not do; we need the world's tiniest string quartet for this matter!

But the coverage the topic receives is still disproportionate. It’s everywhere, and we’re not just talking this week. It’s not just on TV . . . you can’t go more than a few Facebook status updates without running into someone opining about it, showing you how openly sensitive they are. Or when looking at another way, how morally superior they are to you, the vapid idiot who isn’t making an important political statement, but posted a photo of his dog playing in the snow instead.

Bottom line: I loathe hearing about anyone — gay or straight — drone on about marriage, particularly impending marriage plans (and yes, I’m married). It’s like hearing about someone’s fantasy football team . . . sure, it’s important to that particular person, but trust me (as someone who is emotionally invested in two leagues), there isn’t a soul on the planet who wants to hear about who you drafted and why, or what big trade you made that week. 

Let's just get one thing out of the way: we all see the irony here, right? We do? Awesome.

On one hand, I understand that as a big story this is going to get a ton of headlines and a lot of social media buzz behind it, and after a while that stuff becomes deafening. That's understandable. But this isn't just a cute story that everyone will forget about in a couple weeks: this is something that will affect a lot of gay and lesbian couples who have been fighting for years, if not decades, for their basic human rights.

Look, if this were about Lindsay Lohan getting drunk and hitting a baby with her car again? Absolutely, there's a point of diminishing returns. But this shit actually means something to a lot of people. We're dealing with the difference between a watered-down version of marriage that is devoid of more than 1,000 very specific legal rights and full standing in the eyes of the law.

[IMG SOURCE: nataliedee.com] 

When a country refuses to legalize marriage equality on a nationwide level in favour of a province-by-province (or state-by-state) basis, you're eventually going to have some legal fuckery to deal with.

According to a new report from Business Insider, one of the biggest problems facing married gays and lesbians today happens to be, ironically enough, gay divorce. It turns out, the steps required for a married couple to get divorced are a little more complex than you would expect, and for LGBT couples trying to legally separate, this can prove to be a logistical nightmare that requires manoeuvring through a lot of yellow tape.

Thus, a couple living in Utah, where gay marriage is not recognized, can marry in Massachusetts, where it is legal and where newlyweds are not obliged to live in the state.

If the couple returns to Utah and their marriage falls apart, however, they would have to go to another state to petition for a divorce -- which requires a period of residence of six months to two years, depending on the state.

There are also local particularities. In Wyoming, for instance, same-sex couples cannot marry but they can seek a divorce.

"It's a mess," Sommer told AFP.

Okay, so simplified divorce is probably one of the weirdest reasons for marriage equality ever, but it does show a major legal flaw in how we treat marriage equality. Yes, marriage is a religious sacrement, but it's also a legal matter, and until we're able to clean up the legal definition of marriage, the system is going to remain broken like this.

[IMG CREDIT: slapupsidethehead.com] 

I'm not sure if you've noticed this, but there are currently a shitload of people in France trying to ensure that gay marriage never happens, and their main course of action is apparently . . . avant-garde theatre, I want to call this? Seriously, one of those guys was dressed as a baby. Really? I guess they figured that nothing chaps a gay man's ass like colourful theatrics!

Anyway, as a rebuttal of sorts, France's version of Elle magazine decided to run a very beautiful and tasteful cover story, featuring two female models posing as a married lesbian couple. Behold!

The good news: a major magazine in France endorsed marriage equality in the midst of a massive (if somewhat bonkers) marriage debate. The bad news: our marriages will never be that impossibly chic. Way to set the bar too high, Elle. 

Yesterday, the United States Supreme Court announced that it would be hearing two cases related to marriage equality: one involving the Defense of Marriage Act, and the other on California's Proposition 8. So far, no one seems to know how the court will rule on the matters -- help us, Nate Silver! Use your witchcraft to save us like you did before! -- but according The Washington Post, they may have already won the fight for marriage equality. At least, if public opinion polls are any indication.

It doesn’t take a professional pollster to understand what the chart tells us. In 1996, as the country was easily re-electing Democratic President Bill Clinton, two-thirds of the public opposed gay marriage. Sixteen years later, as the country was re-electing Democratic President Barack Obama just 43 percent opposed it while 48 percent favored it.

Go deeper into the Pew numbers — and thanks to Pew, you can! —  and you see why those trend lines won’t be reversing themselves.  In 2011-2012, 62 percent of people 18-29 supported gay marriage — by far the strongest support among any age group. During that same time period, just 32 percent of those 65 or older supported gay marriage. 

In regard to long-term trends, history has a tendency of gently easing away from superstitious nonsense and finally stopping on the side of fairness and logic. Eventually, even the most violently homophobic country will adopt marriage equality, so chances are federal marriage equality is something that will be coming to them soon. That being said, the court of public opinion isn't normally a recognized branch of the judicial system (unless it's on American Idol or some shit), so how this specific case turns out is anyone's guess. 

Today, President Obama became the first sitting POTUS to openly support same-sex marriage, which officially means the federal branch of the United States has finally caught up to the year 2005. Haha! Suck it, people south of us. We were gay before it was even cool.

While the news is historic, in that it's the first time a US president has ever taken his head out of his ass, it probably shouldn't come as a surprise that the internet immediately turned it into a meme. In that respect, here's your new favourite Tumblr of the day: whenobamaendorsed.tumblr.com. It combines the global gay rights progression of a sitting president openly embracing gay marriage with gifs from RuPaul's Drag Race and Arrested Development. Because it doesn't matter whether you're gay or straight or bisexual or transgender or asexual or pansexual or a sex robot; everyone loves Arrested Development.

Also, My Little Pony.