Yup, sorry everyone. Halloween is cancelled. Here's why:
That is 17-year-old Courtney Stodden rubbing her 17-year-old cootch on pumpkins in front of tiny children. I didn't know it was possible for pumpkins to have baby-herp, but we learn something new every day, people. Personally, I'll take my chances with the razor-bladed apples over whatever jooter juice Stodden is wiping off on those pumpkins.
Adding: You know what every Courtney Stodden post needs? More GIFs. Make it so, internet: