Toronto Diary - All posts tagged 'facebook'
Friday, July 8, 2011

Sooooo... anyone else on Google+?

So the doors apparently opened, however briefly, on Google+ today, and like the devious social-media whore that I am, I jumped on it like Rob Ford on a deep-fried twinkie. And let me just say, I finally understand how my grandmother feels whenever she tries to do anything on the internet, or, as she calls it, "The World Wide Web." She says it without a trace of irony, too.

All right, here's what I've gathered so far: there are not enough gays on yet for this to be a viable dating service, so no, you may want to hold on to Grindr for a little while longer before you start trolling for peen on Google+. That being said, you can apparently post graphic pictures on the site without getting banned. (That's the policy so far, at least. You never know -- it could change.)

Instead of friends, now there are Circles. What's a circle? No fucking clue. I honestly have no real idea how the system of adding friends works; I do know it's needlessly complex but not that bad once you get the hang of it. There are maybe a handful of gay porn models on it, so... you know, there's that, right?

And now for the major question: is it better than Facebook? Fuck if I know. I honestly don't use Facebook that often, but Facebook is notorious for booting gay pornstar profiles or anything else it finds objectionable while jacking your personal information. So fuck it: you might as well start early just to say you started Google+ early, right? Right. Look forward to the Aaron Sorkin-penned bio-flick in about five years.

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Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Facebook whores are just getting lazy now

Duckface? How 2009. These days, if you're gonna slut it up on Facebook by taking misleading pictures of yourself, it's all about a Facebook whore's new best friend: sitting on the counter to make your ass look bigger.

Seriously, this is a thing. A thing that exists.

Are you a skinny white bitch with an ass that looks like two pancakes fighting over a chocolate chip? Worry no more! All you have to do is sit on the counter, and you too can trick people into thinking you actually have something to hold your jeans up. I look forward to seeing this pose ad nauseam on Facebook, Manhunt, Grindr, Twitter, JDate.... Ah, the hell with it. I liked you people better when you were pretending to be slutty ducks.

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Jeremy Feist


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