Toronto Diary - All posts tagged 'celine dion'
Monday, November 21, 2011

Famous people throwing shade

There are three rules that every female starlet must adhere to if she hopes to make it in the business:

  1. You need to blow LA Reid. Cannot stress this one enough. He cums recording contracts.
  2. You will inevitably be compared to Madonna. It's the only reason we keep her around. So we can compare people to her. That's the only thing she's good for at this point.
  3. If someone sticks a camera or microphone in front of you, you MUST talk about another female artist. Because the credentials of all female artists are based on other female artists.
And with that in mind, here's a supercut via Rich Juzwiak at FourFour featuring famous women reading each other into the fucking dirt. And as we all know, everything's more fun when celebrities do it. The best part is that it totally validates my theory that Céline Dion is an insane, evil genius. No, really. Céline Dion may be my spirit animal. 

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Friday, December 11, 2009

Daily Roundup: How unpredictable

As Xtra.ca gears up for some exciting changes in the new year, I'm temporarily sharing space in the Toronto Diary with the mighty Rob Salerno, from whom I inherited the Daily Roundup a year and a half ago.  The timing's perfect, since it's the Toronto Sun who got snippy about my wisecracking over Truro, Nova Scotia pledging to stop gay cruising in a local park:

"This latest news has predictably been met with accusations of homophobia."

Seeing my (misspelled) name in the paper was a shock -- the Toronto Sun reads Xtra? (I'm sure it's for the articles!) -- but it's the "predictably" that annoys.  Yep, those tedious gay activists -- you can set your watch to them!  But why exactly are these accusations of homophobia so predictable? Because there is indeed a double standard:

Way out west, Xtra's Gareth Kirkby once extolled the virtues of park sex while warning about police arrests. Meanwhile, Women's Health magazine urged readers to "Get It on Outside:"

"To inspire you, we've come up with prime outdoor spots for getting busy, plus advice on the best positions in each."

Sassy!  And certainly more fun than just watching it in a movie yet again.  But see, when gay men go alfresco, they're being radical perverts. Oh sure, there was that infamous straight couple who got arrested for having sex on a beach but that was in Dubai, where lesbians are arrested for kissing. Is that what you want, Truro?

The point is not to say that everyone should be having sex outside, merely that a whole lot of people -- straight, gay, what-have-you -- really seem to enjoy it and it's galling to hear that tired old "protect the family" rhetoric employed against an activity typically done after dark, off the beaten path.  If your kids are in the woods at midnight, they've got bigger problems than some some friskiness in the bushes.

But that's just me being predictable, rather like a University of Minnesota study's "startling" findings that casual sex is not emotionally damaging or San Francisco columnist Mark Morford's assertion that teenagers are as "hormonally supercharged as they've ever been."  When, if ever, will the Sun crowd stop being shocked by this stuff?

Well, maybe the same time I stop being shocked by their shock.  As we approach the holiday season, I thought it time to thank you, my ever-loyal tens of readers, for following along with me these past two years on the Roundup.  I've loved your comments and criticisms and hope you enjoyed my tenure as much as I have but I've decided to step aside from daily blogging later this month -- following, of course, a seemingly endless series of farewell appearances like Cher or Celine Dion.  Have a fantastic weekend (go see A Single Man!) and we'll be back here Monday.

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Jeremy Feist


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