Are you watching Archer? Because you totally should. It's on Thursdays at 10pm on FX, and it really is one of the funniest shows on TV. It's essentially what would happen if Arrested Development was animated, which is exactly how you describe the perfect TV show.

Anyway, the animated spy comedy came back for its fourth season today, and the show's creator, Adam Reed, talked to The Advocate about the show's LGBT characters, like the gay agent Ray and the pansexual HR lady Pam, and how they're currently the only two gay spies out there. At least until Daniel Craig's James Bond comes out.

“Well, you know homosexuals are underrepresented in spy fiction," says Reed, who created and voices Ray. "I wanted to right that wrong. He was supposed to be a one-time character; that’s why I did the voice. So this guy will be an openly gay agent, and I actually liked him — he came across as smart, in-control, and as a foil to Archer. FX liked him and told us to keep him around, so we did.”

When we left Ray last season, he was using a wheelchair after being paralyzed. But Reed hints that Ray may walk again (perhaps thanks to a pair of cybernetic legs), and also alludes that Ray may not be the only gay spy viewers see in the new season. Reed says to be on the lookout for “a fellow spy from the past, who is smarter, cooler, better-dressed, and who can out-Archer Archer, and may have had more than a platonic relationship with Archer in the past.”  

I think the part I love about Ray is that he really was originally a tertiary character who ended up getting fleshed out in the long run because of the fans' reaction to him, while Pam's pansexuality was originally written in as a passing joke until the writers actually implemented it as a real, serious aspect of her character. Also: PAM IS FUCKING FUNNY. 

Apparently there are, in fact, people who read Playboy for the articles. (HA! Just kidding! It's boobs. The only reason Playboy exists is boobs.) Grant Morrison, a DC Comics writer and the author of a new book called The Super Psyche, was recently featured in the magazine, where he gave his two cents on the background and ideologies of various comic series, including the inherent gayness of Batman.

Gayness is built into Batman. I’m not using gay in the pejorative sense, but Batman is very, very gay. There’s just no denying it. Obviously as a fictional character he’s intended to be heterosexual, but the basis of the whole concept is utterly gay. I think that’s why people like it. All these women fancy him and they all wear fetish clothes and jump around rooftops to get to him. He doesn’t care — he’s more interested in hanging out with the old guy and the kid.”

Personally, I'd like it if Batman were gay, but that's mostly because he's hot and rich and built like a brick shithouse. The only downside is that, simply put, Batman himself is kind of boring. I mean, he's badass in and of himself, but here's a quick quiz: ask someone who their favourite character from the Batman universe is. Chances are, no one will actually say Batman. Oh Batman, will you ever win? . . . Probably not. Oh well, at least we'll always have Batgirl.

So, after a ridiculously long screed against non-thinking Christians last night, I figured I might as well lighten the mood a bit here with a good ol'-fashioned game of Would You Hit That?

Today's subject: this muscley, bearded man cosplaying as Finn from Adventure Time.

Honestly, I'm a little split on this one. On one hand, I'm pretty sure Finn is like a 10-year-old boy, and he's just so pure and sweet and innocent . . . On the other hand, this guy has mad muscles and his beard . . . Oh, holy motherfucking crap, that is one sweet fucking beard. Just . . . Fuck. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. BEARD. FUCK.

Sorry, I think the sweetness of that beard short-circuited the part of my brain that regulates blogging and swearing. I'm going to go ahead and say I'd hit that like the fist of an angry god. 

All right, let me just get this right out of the way: the '90s had the best kids shows ever. Hands down. No contest. I mean, yeah, the '80s had its moments, but nothing will ever beat the sheer, unadulterated joy that was Legends of the Hidden Temple. Case closed.

That being said, the '80s are a close second, if only because kids shows were awesomely gay back then. And I don't just mean in the whole ThunderCats/He-Man muscle-men-in-thongs sort of way. I mean full-on camp. This is the decade that brought us Rainbow Brite, My Little Pony (but not the kickass 2010 version) and best of all, Jem and the Holograms. For the uninitiated, Jem was basically Gaga before Gaga: her magical earrings turned her and her friends into rockstars, and her rival basically amounted to a trashy rip-off (modern-day equivalent would be Ke$ha with shades of Avril Lavigne).

And if you needed any further evidence of the massive gay following of the show, the above is an actual ad. On a kids network. It comes from the guy with the super-gay voice who did those honey badger videos, and I think this proves without a shadow of a doubt that even children with no concept of human sexuality are watching this show thinking, "This show is gayer than a rainbow unicorn, and I love it." No offence to Glee, but this is the only show about singing gays that kids should be watching.