Did you know that bloggers know what's good for you better than you do? That's probably not true, but that's not going to stop me from pretending it is by dumping this best-of list on you!

BEST MOVIE

Drive

It's Ryan Gosling being drop-dead sexy and badass for two straight hours. As if that isn't enough, it also features Christina Hendricks' giant boobs of joy and wonder and a scene featuring someone's head getting stomped into pudding in an elevator. Also: I want that scorpion jacket.

Honorable mentions: Bridesmaids, The Weekend, The Artist

BEST ALBUM

Feist's Metals

Am I playing favourites on this one? Maybe a little, but I still count this as an underappreciated gem that was somehow even more complex and beautiful than The Reminder.

Honorable mentions: Adele's 21, St Vincent's Strange Mercy, Drake's Take Care

BEST SINGLE

Adele's "Someone Like You"

Who are you kidding? You know all the lyrics to this song, and when it comes on you will even do that thing where you look out the window and feel all romantically tragic, as if your life were an Academy Award–winning movie and you're being played by Meryl Streep. I already went to great lengths to talk about how great this song is, but goddammit, it is just so fucking good.

Honorable mentions: Lana Del Rey's "Video Games," St Vincent's "Cruel," Childish Gambino's "Freaks and Geeks"

BEST NEW TV SHOW

Suburgatory

We already know how great Breaking Bad and Community are, but at this point, if you aren't already watching them, you have some catching up to do. If you want a show you can pick up now, go with Suburgatory, a sadly neglected comedy that lands somewhere between Juno and Pushing Daisies. Subversively cute and quirky, and it also has Jeremy Sisto as the resident dilf.

Honorable mentions: Picnicface, American Horror Story, Game of Thrones

BEST VIDEO GAME

Portal 2

If you want to know just how good Portal 2 is, consider this: even people who have never played a video game in their life love Portal 2. If I could, I would marry this game. I would have tiny half-human/half-platform-puzzler babies. It also gave the world what is quite possibly the best monologue ever about exploding lemons.

Honorable mentions: Arkham City, Skyrim, Shadows of the Damned

SEXIEST MAN OF 2011

Ryan Gosling

Ryan Gosling Ryan Gosling Ryan Gosling. Ryan Gosling? Ryan Gosling! RYAN. GOSLING. (...ryangosling.)

Honorable Goslings: Ryan Gosling, Ryan Gosling, Ryan Gosling 

SEXIEST WOMAN OF 2011

Christina Hendricks

Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooobs. Whoever tells you they wouldn't motorboat Christina Hendricks in a heartbeat, slap them in the face, because they are liars.

Honorable mentions: Alison Brie, Aubrey Plaza, Ryan Gosling 

Let me make this clear: bullying is an incredibly destructive force. And since the rash of bullying-related suicides, it's inspiring to see how we as a society are addressing it. Unfortunately, there are times when things seem to head into . . . overkill. It's imperative to teach kids they shouldn't be dicks to others just because they're different, but we also need to teach kids that not all forms of criticism and hurt feelings automatically equate to bullying.

The word hater has become the de facto term for anyone who doesn't like something. And I hate it. Yes, I'm a hater hater. But there's a reason for it: not liking something doesn't automatically make someone a hater.

It started innocently enough: a couple of "reality TV stars" (not actually a job) use the term haters to describe people who don't like them. No big deal. But of course, "hater" became this big huge umbrella under which anyone with a negative opinion fell. You don't like certain kinds of music? Hater. You don't approve of someone's public behaviour? Hater. Film critic Scott Tobias says that he doesn't like The Blind Side? The writer of the book calls him a "hater." Although, if I have to pinpoint the exact moment the hater phenomenon jumped the shark, I'd say it was around the time Glee tried to convince us that dodgeball was considered bullying.   

While I appreciate that we are slowly trying to distance ourselves as a society from those who use people considered "weak" to make themselves seem "strong," you also have to take into consideration that, sometimes, there is grounds for criticism. The easiest way to tell actual bullying from criticism is this: confront a bully. If, when asked to look at the reasons behind his dislike, the bully turns into a sputtering mess with no real grounds for his opinion, that's bullying. But sometimes, and I know this must come as a shock to a few of you, people just don't like things. Not everyone is going to like and dislike the same things.

I want people to start getting real about making bullying a thing of the past, but that's not going to happen if we inflate every minute grievance into a personal assault. Believe me, everyone's feelings are hurt sometime, but you can't always assume it was with meant with harm. Humans are imperfect creatures, and most of the time, hurt feelings are more accidental than intentional. I'm not saying people don't have the right to be offended; I'm just saying that we need to take into consideration that the people who hurt us are still human and not inherently malicious. People are generally good if you give them a chance. Dumb as hell, but good.

And if not, a swift kick in the ass never hurt anyone in the long term.

A couple things I picked up from this year's DJ Earworm end-of-the-year mashup, "World Go Boom":

First, no more pop songs about the apocalypse. I touched on this briefly with Todd Klinck last time we spoke, but something about 2011 gave everyone a huge boner for the end of the world. I know we've raised a generation of narcissistic nihilists (read: a bunch of kids jaded enough to think the world is ending and self-absorbed enough to think it'll happen in their lifetime), but enough of this shit, please. Just because the Mayans sat down and realized you can only plan so far ahead when it came to making calendars doesn't mean the world is going to blow up. My Titan Men calendar wrapped up on Dec 31, but that doesn't equal the apocalypse. Also: you're believing spiritual prophecies. Look how well that turned out for those May 21 assholes.

Second: Jesus Christ, Katy Perry. I know she has some sweet knockers, people, but not every one of her songs needs to be a #1 single.

Thirdly, Adele is still the best mainstream singer alive, and nothing anyone says will ever change that for me.

Fourthly (is that even a word? Probably not), Bruno Mars looks like a Boston terrier, and all his songs are the musical equivalent of vanilla paste served with a mayonnaise sandwich on white bread with the crusts cut off.

And now, let's all bid adieu to DJ Earworm, who we'll see again this time in 2012 after that whole fake-apocalypse bullshit blows over.  

All right, I need to preface this post with a little foreward just to maintain some sort of credibility. We don't condone using violence as a means of confronting hatred. That being said, I'd be lying if I said my spirits weren't lifted just a teensy bit watching this video of a trans woman pretty much annihilating a transphobic douchebag who bullied her in a New York City train terminal.

TOSSED LIKE A RAG DOLL for TRYIN' IT! from Milan Blanco on Vimeo.

Look, we could go into some whole spiel about how violence is never the answer (even when we feel the use of violence would be justified and SO FUCKING AWESOME, as in the case above) and all that other stuff, but instead, I'm going to focus on bullies who, like the asshole in this video, start the bullshit that inevitably leads to them having their asses handed to them.

Don't do it. 

All bullies operate on the belief that they need to exert their power in a way to make it seem like they are the most powerful. It's something I'm absolutely sure plenty of queer kids have seen in their lives, as evidenced by the lack of GSAs in certain schools. But here's the thing: eventually, bullies are going to try and pick on someone who is more powerful than they are and has zero interest in their bullshit. It's at this point they'll realize they've lost. They didn't lose the moment someone refused to feed into their delusions: they lost the moment they thought they could pick on someone they perceived as weaker than them.

Consider this a publice service message to the transphobes and other bullies of their ilk out there. Eventually, you're going to fuck with the wrong person. And you're going to realize that it totally wasn't worth it. Not just because being hateful to an entire group of people is morally reprehensible, but also because they're completely capable of kicking your ass.

It's dong. ALL THE DONG.

Yeah, turns out there's some top-shelf celebrity cock on display in this movie, and if the first promo pics are indication, you can expect a solid 90 minutes of the good stuff. Personally, I'm calling dibs on Joe Manganiello, because I like my men like I like my coffee: full of strangers' body hair. I will also take Channing Tatum, and maybe Alex Pettyfer. Matthew McConaughey? Nah. Until his skin stops oozing whatever skankjuice he always seems to be covered in. Seriously: those dying pelicans they pulled out of the BP oil spill are covered in less harmful, toxic substances than that d-bag.