You know what I absolutely cannot stand? When people who are uncomfortable with other people's way of life use their kids to try and convince them to stop being whoever they are. I know what you're saying: "My kids don't need to know about this!" but all I hear is "I'm uncomfortable, and I don't want to talk to my daughter about the feelings I'm projecting onto her, so you need to stop existing. I mean, what else am I supposed to do? Talk to my kids? Ew."

Which is why it tickles me that the National Post (and it's always the National Post -- who are we kidding here?) is issuing an apology after running a full-page ad bashing trans folk. Seriously, how little foresight do you need not to see how that might be the worst idea ever? Hell, it even had vague tinges of dismissal for First Nations people, considering the shout-out to two-spirited people. You know, just in case the whole thing wasn't dumb enough.

Here's the thing: healthy debate is great. There are some subjects that are completely open to debate, because there's no objectively right answer to the question. But when the question is "Hey, I'm a queer person. Do I have the same rights as straight people? Is it okay for kids to know I exist?" There is no debate on this. We're all PEOPLE, and you can't blink an entire group of people out of existence through denial. So hopefully they learned a little something about not running horrible offensive ads that denigrate an entire group of people.

Unlike a surprising number of gay men, I have never worn women's shoes. This probably has more to do with the fact that I think my feet look weird (my toes look like cocktail wieners), my mother's feet are half the size of mine, and, thanks to my giant, hairy Chun-Li legs, I can't pull off pumps.

But thankfully, there are a few men out there who can pull off the look who walked through Dundas Square today for the White Ribbon Campaign, an organization that aims to increase awareness for and combat violence against women around the world. If you remember, Jack Layton was one of the cofounders of the organization, just in case you forgot how awesome he was. Jack Layton kicked more ass getting out of bed in the morning than most people will in a week. Anyway, it was a rousing success, money was raised for the WRC, and men everywhere experienced a tiny fraction of the pain women have to put up with. Kudos, boys.

Just... wow. Okay, I know the shake-weight was maybe like a fluke or something, because it's easy to see how someone might not see a pumping action as overtly sexual, but... What the shit, people? This is the Free Flexor, and I swear to God, I initially thought this was the double-sided dildo from Requiem for a Dream. Gaze upon yonder workout dildo and weep:

See what I mean? Someone out there saw this thing, watched as muscular men flopped it around in their clenched fists, their arms pumping as intense looks of determination spread across their faces, and said "Yup, nothing gay about this. Slap it on TV and sell it to people for $39.95. Hell, we'll even throw in a DVD of sweaty, shirtless musclemen pumping it! Nothing at all gay about this."

That man's name? Marcus Bachmann.

Remember when the first Human Centipede movie came out and everyone was all like, "Oh look, an entire movie about man's inhumanity to man! Let's give them money for this"? Well, here's the second one, which somehow managed to be even more disturbing and perverse than the original. Behold what a rim-pig sees in his nightmares:

And now, here's a pug with the exact face I made when I saw this shit:

If you had asked me who I thought would be the first Firefly stud to come out of the closet... Well, actually, I would have guessed the adorkably hunky Sean Maher, and I would have been completely correct in that assessment, although I secretly would have also pulled for Nathan Fillion. You do not get an ass that perfectly round without taking a few dicks.

But who cares! The super cute Sean Maher, who played Simon Tam on my beloved but cancelled Firefly and who stars in the new show (ugh) The Playboy Club, came out in an interview with Entertainment Weekly. I know some might criticize him for taking his time to come out... Meh, I'm okay with waiting for hot pieces. And on the plus side, at least it wasn't Adam Baldwin, who spent his post-Firefly years getting his crazypants tailored.