If you happen to be one of those illustrious few who gets to summer in Europe (and you know someone's doing well for themself when they "summer". Not just visit, but summer.) then this might interest you: The UK was named the best place in Europe to be openly gay by the International Lesbian and Gay Association, or the ILGA. Yeah, gays aren't great when it comes to making acronyms. Russia, on the other hand, probably shouldn't be high up on your travel list.

The ILGA Europe's index rated a total of 49 countries on more than 40 categories. With a total of 21 points, the UK narrowly edged out both Germany and Spain, which earned a total of 20 points each, respectively. An ILGA-Europe spokesperson is quoted by The Independent as saying Scotland played a "leading role" in the UK's success, as hate crimes "aggravated" by gender identity are explicitly recognized under Scottish laws.

On the opposite end of the ILGA's scale were Russia and Moldova, each of which scored -4.5 points. Russia has come under fire in recent weeks for the introduction of a so-called "gay propaganda" law in its second-largest city, St. Petersburg. (Source)

As someone who has neither the money, nor the ability to stay on a transatlantic plane without going crazy, to go to Europe . . . Meh, this is kind of a lateral move for me. Although I'm sure this will go a long way to help people decide where they visit and which countries to spend money on. Because simply put, people tend to vote more with their money than with their actual votes (See: Ford, Rob). So yes, maybe the appropriation of touritst dollars will help foreign countries realize that it pays to be gay. 

It's easy for a teenager to assume that everything in high school is this unending hellhole from which they'll never escape. It's not hard to see why either: Most of their life and memories revolve around school, and when you're young and full of hormones, it's easy to confuse one single era of your life as a representation of its entirety.

If you haven't been following Andrea Houston on Twitter, now would be an excellent time to start; she's been great reporting on everything that's been happening in and around city hall during the Bill-13 debates. Anyway, she's managed to represent a pretty wide swath of voices on the subject. There are plenty of people coming out in support of GSAs, and there have also been those opposing the bill, from both personal view points ("This is a serious issue that has to end, and it won't end with Bill 13. The accountability in Bill 14 will help.") and from crazy batshit weirdness. (See: Literally anybody claiming Bill-13 would result in underage gay orgies.)

The thing is, kids in high school need all the support they need. All kids. But whether you like it or not, LGBT kids have some of the highest rates of bullying when it comes to kids. Hell, even as adults, LGBT people have the highest rates of victimization when it comes to hate crimes. If kids want to come together and tell people that it's okay to love who you love and be who you want to be, why get in the way of that?

And cut the crap about how Christians are being persecuted because gay teen boys are dating other gay teen boys. Believe me, I grew up gay AND catholic. Guess which one I got the most flack for? I liked who I liked, and I believed what I wanted to believe. Both of these things affected only myself and myself alone. But being gay was the only part that I ever got bullied for. Let me make this clear: It's not okay to bully people for their sexuality or their religion. That being said, Christianity is not based entirely around being gay; pretending it is, claiming persecution, and then trying to subjugate an entire group of people is a crock of shit.

(Image from slapupsidethehead.com) 

1. "Your grandmother is seventy-eight-years-old. SEVENTY. EIGHT. She doesn't have that much time left, and she wants to do some weed before she dies. Grow a pair and find her some weed. Also, I don't want to drive her home afterward, so rent a car."
2. "Oh my God, did you hear about Whitney Houston? This is why we take showers, Jeremy. You can't drown in a shower. Unless you're stupid, in which case . . . You kinda deserve it."
3. "If I want to wear high-heels to my Nana's funeral, I get to wear high-heels to my Nana's funeral."
4. (Immediately after her heels get caught in the mud, and she falls into Nana's open grave.) "I should not have worn high-heels to Nana's funeral."
5. "You know what's better than wrapping a Christmas present? Wrapping a Christmas present using saran wrap, Froot Loops, hockey tape, shot glasses, gimp, and a cracker. Also a towel."
6. "Did you know you were conceived to Madonna's 'Vogue'? It explains a lot about the way you turned out."
7. "Every mattress is queen-size when you're gay."
8. "Drag Queens are like poppers: Most straight people have heard of them, but not a single straight knows what they do."
9. "Every movie about a dog will inevitably end with the dog dying, unless the dog can play a sport. Like basketball. Or polo."
10.  "I want an iPad for my birthday. Four of you came out of my bing-bang and it hasn't been the same ever since. You owe me an iPad."

Years from now, when the robots have taken over, and we're being kept in embryonic ooze for the sake of being harvested for energy like squishy batteries, we will look back and think "Why? What did we do to the machines to make us so?" And then the robot overlords will point a blood-drenched, metal tentacle at the spankable robot and say "This. You made this. Also, you guys had two world wars and genocide and Whitney Cummings. So really, you had this coming."

Yes, science -- that hallowed bastion of foresight-free creation for the sake foresight-free creation -- has developed the world's first spankable robot. If you read that went "but isn't any robot spankable if you think about it the right way?" Then you're probably a sex criminal.

What makes this robot special? Well, first off, it's a disembodied tuchus. Second, it's a robot that is capable of feeling fear and pain, and then reacting to it. If at any point during the viewing of this video you get an erection, you are not a good person. 

But seriously, why would you create a robot who will know only spankings and fear throughout its existence? And will presumably learn from it? A couple years from now, when the androids have risen up and begin harvesting us for stem cells and machine-on-man snuff films, at least we'll know who to blame. 

A couple days ago, I made a joke about how Sun TV's David Menzies was added to Rob Ford's radio show as a way of making Rob seem rational and caring by comparison. And oh, how we laughed and laughed, because stretching reality to humorously absurd lengths is how jokes work! Guffaw and such!

Turns out, I might have actually been right, because David Menzies is currently Twitter's public enemy #1, after he wrote a deliriously wrongheaded article on The Huffington Post about how the Toronto Maple Leafs' Brian Burke is embracing anti-bullying measures only as a way of buying himself some good PR. You know, because it has nothing to do with him losing a gay son or just wanting to better himself as a human being. Nope, entirely utilitarian.

However, when it comes to optics, a sure-fire way to get an image makeover is by latching on to a gay cause. And it seems to be working for Burke, who is being roundly applauded for his feel-good initiative -- even though I'm unaware of a scintilla of evidence that any professional or amateur hockey player has ever been discriminated against or targeted due to his sexual orientation.

So, what gives? 

Yes, because when people want to do a little philanthropy, they can only help people directly associated with them. Remember all those people who donated time and effort to help repare Haiti after it was hit by a tsunami back in 2010? What a bunch of douchebags! Don't they know you don't have to help people you don't know?

For the most part, those who see utilitarian or otherwise unseemly motives behind good works are usually the ones who are either not doing any good works themselves or otherwise are just looking for utilitarian motives. Wearing your own misinformation and ignorance proudly on your sleeve doesn't make you an "independent thinker" or a "real-talker," it just makes you a moron.