Normally the opening of a humane society shelter isn't our beat here at Xtra, but this particular $12-million Ottawa shelter was graced by a number of VIPs at its opening: Prime Minister Stephen Harper and his wife, Laureen, Ottawa Mayor Jim Watson, and noted pussy lover Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird.
I know, you're surprised to hear that the same John Baird who has a Facebook group dedicated to twinks posting the lame pickup lines he's used on them at Woody's is a "noted pussy lover," but you're forgetting that the biggest international incident Mr Baird ever got caught up in was all about pussy. In fact, he's surprisingly found himself receiving much more media scorn for the love of his pussy than for any other animal he can be said to love, be it cocks, chickens, bears, otters or any other animal that's become a gay signifier.
Anyway, there was Minister Baird seemingly choking a kitten to shore up his credentials as the nation's foremost lover of pussy, with the possible exception of Laureen Harper.
Because the Harpers have eight cats! Get your minds out of the gutter! We're not implying anything.