Let's face it -- even when they're not wiping their boogers everywhere, straight men can be very confusing.  They'll say they're very uncomfortable with being hit on by a gay guy but then turn around and drop their pants for ESPN, the sports magazine with enough female fans to make up 17% of their readership.  That's like appearing in Chatelaine because you want to appeal to truck drivers (17%!).

But if "The Body Issue" convinces members of the Edmonton Oilers to pose for shots like this, well, I'm not complaining:

(Lord knows we've certainly seen sillier attempts to appeal to the ladies and not-the-gay-men-no-sir-not-at-all: the immortal boyband era is summed up with '30 Ridiculous Pictures of the Backstreet Boys.'  Does what it says on the tin.)

But for an extreme example of a straight guy wrestling with the divide between respecting human rights vs. his own homophobia.  Buju Banton, dancehall reggae star and target of worldwide murder music protests, finally met with gay activists to discuss how not to be a hatemongering thug but still couldn't agree to a single one of their ideas, probably because he is a hatemongering thug.

Meanwhile, Moscow is home to my favourite example of such schizophrenia -- the city is pushing to close its oldest and most popular gay bar in a morals campaign while its homophobic mayor Yury Luzhkov just teamed up with Hillary Clinton to unveil a park statue dedicated to poet Walt Whitman (Whitman!).  This from the country that gave us vodka, Tchaikovsky and Nicholay Petrov?

Sometimes such a divide can work though -- like in this Guardian UK article that manages to be both an intriguing look at current record industry woes and a bitchy slapdown of Perez Hilton.  It can be done!

But in the end, we're all divided in some way or another. This blog, for instance, loves to celebrate queer Canada but can't quite bring itself to proclaim Toronto YouTube performer Tonetta the next big thing.  Perhaps you won't be so conflicted:

As Ottawa begins gussying up for its ten-day Pride fest, we're seeing more than a few makeovers...

We've all seen those Terminator movies where cyborgs travel back from the future but the photo shoot for Adam Lambert's upcoming album cover makes him look like a Terminator from the Elizabethan era:

Meanwhile, Canada's most famous Mountie is again heading due south -- not to America, but to Hell.  Playing the Devil in the new TV series 'Eastwick,' Paul Gross is looking good in a suit:

Speaking of pretty Canadians, Hayden Christiansen is finally starting to put that 'Star Wars' debacle behind him through modelling, though he seems to have kept his Jedi powers:

Sex advice columnist Dan Savage is already easy on the eyes but we're waiting to see him glammed up for his new TV pilot for HBO.  

Further abroad, even Sweden is getting a makeover -- watching them try to be hip and sexy is adorkable:

But not every transformation is met with delight. Weighing in on the bizarre controversy over South African athlete Caster Semenya's gender, feminist writer Germaine Greer gets nasty:

"Nowadays we are all likely to meet people who think they are women, have women's names, and feminine clothes and lots of eyeshadow, who seem to us to be some kind of ghastly parody, though it isn't polite to say so. We pretend that all the people passing for female really are. Other delusions may be challenged, but not a man's delusion that he is female."

Now sure, I could be snotty and point out how such vicious transphobia is pretty rich coming from a woman who looks like this --

-- but hey, Makeover Monday means I should change too, getting serious and putting such snide cheap shots behind me.

Until tomorrow!

TODAY ON BON:

By slapping down Minister of State for Tourism Diane Ablonczy for giving money to Pride Toronto, the Conservative federal government appears homophobic!

In an interview with the Advocate, gossip blogger Perez Hilton comes off as a narcissistic creep with delusions of grandeur:

Gay people are discriminated against in the corporate world!

US governor (and whining quitter) Sarah Palin lies!  All the time!

The Made in Brazil website thinks model Carlos Freire is sexy.  Well, duh:

The head of the Canadian Olympic Committee has realized that ordinary Canadians will not confuse a gay hookup website with the Olympics. He says, "It would be absurd for us to be protesting this."  Umm...yes.

And finally, an online poll reveals that people speculate over which celebrities are gay (how do you think we got stuck with Perez Hilton in the first place?) though some of their choices are odd (Mario Lopez?):

Personally, I'd swap Josh Groban and Hugh Jackman but hey, who can say...?  What are your choices?

 

The big news yesterday was Cher's lesbian daughter Chastity Bono coming out transgender, announcing plans to transition and become Chaz Bono.  Though supportive, Cher worried aloud about such a radical physical change, right before having her ribs lowered, her cheekbones resharpened and a vocoder installed in her throat.

Following the backlash against their lazy and cruel comments about transgender kids, Sacramento radio hosts Rob Williams and Arnie States did a special show to apologize.  They learned a valuable lesson:  don't make Michael Rowe angry, you wouldn't like him when he's angry!

If you're like me, you probably sat through 'Star Trek' wondering what Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto's love child would look like.  Well, wonder no more:

When did straight sports journalists suddenly become gay rights activists?  All I know is I really want Jeff Pearlman to be right.

Meanwhile, US sports station ESPN is airing a special on the Nebraska college wrestlers who got kicked out for doing porn.  If I'd known all this was going on, I'd have never left the channel on Fashion Television!

And finally, RM Vaughn interviews the creator of 'True Blood' (season 2 starts this Sunday), who says the vampires in her novels are stand-ins for gay people.  Please.  As if I could give up bruschetta.  Then again, of course, there is the nocturnal lifestyle, the screaming when faced with crucifixes, the pasty complexion and a very, very obvious joke about sucking.

Have a great weekend!

 

Ray Lam has stepped down as NDP candidate for Vancouver False-Creek because of, he says, "inappropriate material on my private Facebook page."  Lam posted saucy photos of himself in his underwear and suddenly there they are in the Globe and Mail.  I don't get the controversy over his lack of pants:  since the public is always complaining of getting screwed by politicians, shouldn't they be pleased by one who's ready to go first?

Poor Lam obviously didn't pay attention to his Facebook etiquette classes back in the 1950s:

Speaking of saucy photos, here's Hugh Jackman getting ready for bondage action with a British Marine (note the smile!):

Oh, all right, it was just a stunt in London to promote his upcoming "Wolverine" movie, but meanwhile, in the current issue of "Uncanny X-Men," the comic book version of Wolverine is keen to bring back Northstar, Canada's greatest Quebecois gay Olympic athlete mutant superhero:

If you insist that your sexy athletes, you know, exist, then Nick Symmonds is your man -- he makes Nike's new "natural" ad campaign essential viewing:

Hey!  Look at this fucking hipster!

And finally, someone has (yes!) written some Anderson Cooper porn:

CNN's Anderson Cooper should have his dirty, little gutter mouth washed out with soap. 

Hot!  Oh wait...it's actually a whiny rant by an angry right-wing Christian.  Business as usual, never mind, let's move on...!