As the same-sex marriage debate heats up in Washington DC, New York blogger Joe Jervis posted some hilariously awful footage of one particular Bible-thumping loon and said:

"Yes, she is horrible, but I don't know when I've laughed so hard. Somebody please remix this lady."

Well, I'm no DJ, Joe, but -- with huge, huge apologies to the Pet Shop Boys -- here's mine (turn on the annotations for the amazing Gallery Guy):

In other music news, out American Idol Adam Lambert just revealed the cover art for his forthcoming CD:

 

He's certainly getting a reaction. The Queerty blog yelled, "We love you Adam, but no. NO. NO!"  Entertainment Weekly said, "it’s a little more, um, out there than the pensive-yet-ultimately-benign images we’ve come to expect from Idol runners-up."

Many others have pointed out the obvious glam links to early David Bowie and/or Michael Jackson but let's face it -- your average Wal-Mart shopper is going to see only this:

But hey, it's no more outré than the great gay T-shirts American Apparel is now selling.  Lambert deserves a big pat on the back for putting himself out there like that -- hopefully his sales won't be as disastrous as the movie that will carry his theme song:

 

As Ottawa begins gussying up for its ten-day Pride fest, we're seeing more than a few makeovers...

We've all seen those Terminator movies where cyborgs travel back from the future but the photo shoot for Adam Lambert's upcoming album cover makes him look like a Terminator from the Elizabethan era:

Meanwhile, Canada's most famous Mountie is again heading due south -- not to America, but to Hell.  Playing the Devil in the new TV series 'Eastwick,' Paul Gross is looking good in a suit:

Speaking of pretty Canadians, Hayden Christiansen is finally starting to put that 'Star Wars' debacle behind him through modelling, though he seems to have kept his Jedi powers:

Sex advice columnist Dan Savage is already easy on the eyes but we're waiting to see him glammed up for his new TV pilot for HBO.  

Further abroad, even Sweden is getting a makeover -- watching them try to be hip and sexy is adorkable:

But not every transformation is met with delight. Weighing in on the bizarre controversy over South African athlete Caster Semenya's gender, feminist writer Germaine Greer gets nasty:

"Nowadays we are all likely to meet people who think they are women, have women's names, and feminine clothes and lots of eyeshadow, who seem to us to be some kind of ghastly parody, though it isn't polite to say so. We pretend that all the people passing for female really are. Other delusions may be challenged, but not a man's delusion that he is female."

Now sure, I could be snotty and point out how such vicious transphobia is pretty rich coming from a woman who looks like this --

-- but hey, Makeover Monday means I should change too, getting serious and putting such snide cheap shots behind me.

Until tomorrow!

Man, I wander off for one day and look what I miss!

Carrie Prejean is finally fired for spending more time being Miss Anti-Gay instead of Miss California (but now free to choose between same unemployment and opposite unemployment), while American Idol's Adam Lambert comes out on the cover of Rolling Stone (not as gay -- we all knew that already -- but as an ophiophile)!

Lambert's not the only one making questionable fashion choices, however -- check out the fetching ensemble that got this man arrested:

That's right -- this man is going to jail because he makes people feel uncomfortable!  If that were, you know, actual law, Pat Roberton should be on death row for creeping us all out with his latest theory on homosexuality:

For the record, my big gay self went to a Catholic school, where I was beaten by nuns, yet I developed no attraction to lesbian penguins.  So while Robertson gets fitted for a straight jacket, Dan Savage explains why his views are so offensive...to Christians.

While we're talking jailhouse fashion, check out this first photo of Mickey Rourke as the Russian mafia bad guy Whiplash in next summer's 'Iron Man 2' -- will he fight Robert Downey Jr. or invite him along to a fetish party?

Other guy dressing in something he's totally unsuited for?  Umm....me.  I've been squeezing myself into spandex for next month's Friends for Life Bike Rally. I and, more importantly, the Toronto PWA Foundation could really use your help.  After all, look at what I'm going through!

But the best change of clothes is no clothes, like in this French TV ad bringing back everyone's favourite naked pole vaulter:

And of course, Ryan Reynolds, who -- in a naked attempt to bring you back -- I'll talk about tomorrow!

Till then, however, I'll be wearing black to mark the passing of Rick Bébout, one of Toronto's finest gay journalists and historians. Gerald Hannon will be writing a remembrance for Xtra and here's a terrific interview he did with Bébout about his queer philosophy: 

So 'American Idol' came down to a choice between the cute Christian crooner Kris Allen and the big-lunged, Bowie-esque, Entertainment-Weekly-says-he's-gay Adam Lambert:

Allen was the underdog going in -- clearly outclassed by Lambert in recent weeks -- but if there's one thing America likes, it's an underdog story.

So Allen won and I suppose we gays should be upset (except for ex-evangelical leader Ted Haggard, of course) but c'mon, you and I both know that Lambert will be just fine.  He impressed too many people to just fade away now.  We'll see who wins out a couple years from now when one of them finds his CD in the bargain bin at HMV (*cough*Kris*cough*).

And gay men have enough to worry about, thanks -- not only can we not get our comic books printed, we're being blamed for the 'Terminator' robots out to kill us all:

Most days here at the Roundup, I point out surprises either delightful or exasperating.  But looking at today's news, I didn't even bat an eyelash:

-- Sam Wurzelbacher, the pseudonymous Republican icon "Joe the Plumber," is a homophobe! Who could've seen that coming?  Joe says he has gay friends (where do the bigots get these people?) but "I wouldn't have them anywhere near my children." Well, of course "Joe" wouldn't -- gay men would only teach the kids that there's more to life than snaking septic pipes and who'd run the family plumbing business then?

-- in a new poll, 67% of "feistier" Canadians say, "Canada should follow its own interests even if it leads to conflict with other nations." So it's a majority but not an overwhelming majority that might seem impolite.

-- evil gossipmongers TMZ tried to trick the Lynn-Crosbie-approved Adam Lambert into coming out. Oh, those 'American Idol' contestants are so wily: