The press release plugging events being held today to "inspire youth activism" reads, "Youth Celebrate World AIDS Day at Sold Out Event."  This is lovely to see, so we'll ignore the awkwardness of the word "celebrate."

But World AIDS Day has always been a clumsy affair.  How do you honour a day so dishonourable?  Today, the Queerty blog is snarking about the red ribbons on Twitter and Facebook ("nothing says grassroots activist like meaningless Internet gestures!") but people want to do something, however tiny, on a day that's all about awareness.

World AIDS Day is a bit like Christmas -- a day of hope for everyone to come together in a spirit of brotherhood and peace, combined with a lingering greasy distaste for why the hell we're so incapable of doing it the other 364 days of the year. So what's an appropriate response then?  Today, we have many options:

-- slash provincial government AIDS funding!

-- hang a big red ribbon from your house:

-- launch Positive Lite, a cheeky new webzine for HIV-positive people, in the hopes of getting them laid (how inappropriate!)

-- write a somber piece about the impact of AIDS on your own family

-- stage a protest in New York City at the mayor's "World AIDS Day bagel breakfast" (though you'll be arrested for your inappropriateness):

(I know, I'm as shocked as you are -- "World AIDS Day bagel breakfast???"  What the fuck?)

-- stage a protest at a Beijing train station (but be arrested for your inappropriateness)

-- pass along those saucy cellphone pics of baseball player Grady Sizemore (hey, you celebrate your way, I'll celebrate mine)

-- release a charity pop single

-- or, of course, the most appropriate and directly helpful way to mark World AIDS Day: please give generously to a charity that will help people living with AIDS in your community. It beats the hell out of Twitter!

It's not often we get to praise Prime Minister Stephen Harper around these parts (umm, like, never!) but this weekend, he boldly went where no Obama has gone before in condemning Ugandan president Yoweri Museveni for his government's proposed new anti-gay laws. The bills would jail gay people for life (with a death penalty for anyone who transmits HIV) and would even jail others for not turning in any gay people they might know.  Here's Harper to the rescue:

"I did raise it directly with the president of Uganda and indicated Canada's deep concern, strong opposition and the fact we deplore these kinds of measures."

Oooooh!  I'm sure Museveni took one look into Harper's beady, dead eyes and felt the full, passionate weight of international law bearing down on him.

Well, maybe not.  But hey, at least Canada did something.  Obama's Secretary-of-State Hillary Clinton was silent on the issue but Rick Warren, Obama's favourite purpose-driven pastor, appeared on Meet the Press this weekend and, given his support for African AIDS relief, had this to say about Uganda's death penalty:

"As a pastor, my job is to encourage, to support. I never take sides."

Man, I hope never to be stuck behind this guy at a deli counter.  Corned beef or turkey?  Who could possibly say?  Here's a taste of Warren's famous Switzerland style in action, around this time last year:

Such encouragement.  Such support.

Guys like Warren and Harper and even Obama represent the new, blander face of homophobia. They may privately feel just sick about gay people losing their jobs, their homes or even their lives but it would be just be so rude to say so!  As Warren explained, "it is not my personal calling as a pastor in America to comment or interfere in the political process of other nations."

No, even in the face of homicide, we must remain objective and polite and never, ever interfere -- though our neutral leaders will, of course, cast glares of disapproval at those terribly outspoken lesbians and gay men who dare to advocate on their own behalf.  Why can't they be nice?  Everything would be fine if these Ugandan gays could just keep silent.  As we look to another World AIDS Day tomorrow, however, that's a song we've heard one time too many:

C'mon, everyone else is posting this clip -- why can't I? It's genius!

As delightful as the Muppets are, however, they're only reminding us -- especially in the wake of all the fuss over Adam Lambert this week -- that Freddie Mercury was an incredible talent, a gay icon not so easily replaced. Even in this late-career foray into dance music, who else could carry off these harlequin pants?

Big, big shoes to fill but Lambert can do it if he just stays true to himself and what he wants.  That's the only thing that'll work -- even in hockey, where everyone is buzzing about Brendan Burke, the son of Toronto Maple Leaps manager Brian Burke, and his public coming out:

It's a lovely story and one that will hopefully get louder as more players follow his example and message.

But for the message I hope is loudest, I turn to the great British writer, actor and comic Stephen Fry, who took part in a BBC debate entitled, "Is the Catholic Church a force for good in the world?"  Fry's emphatic "NO" not only sealed this debate but frankly, any.  If you've got ten minutes, here's a speech you won't soon forget:

Things like communion wafers.  Seriously!  The fact that the Catholic Church is now using them as a political weapon makes me want to run to Sunday mass for the first time in about, oh, 90 years and grab and eat the entire bowlful.  You'd think the Church would be happy with all those Anglicans they scooped up but no -- like General Sherman, the Borg or Miley Cyrus, they just keep advancing!

Fortunately, the mighty Pam Spaulding has a lovely story about one grandmother coming to our defense.

Now you may not feel you need to watch poor closeted teen Riley on Degrassi: The Next Generation but this interview with actor Argiris Karras is, like, the Cutest Thing EVAH!!!!!!!!!

Who knew we'd find ourselves desperate to Facebook-friend Janine Krieber? The wife of deposed Liberal leader Stéphane Dion has been awfully entertaining lately (unless you're Michael Ignatieff).

I find myself oddly in need of the new audiobook by David Sedaris. "Why not?" you ask, "He's hilarious."  True, but never before on a vinyl album:

Also, the Daily Beast has the handy if occasionally disturbing list of "8 New Internet Sex Fads."  The iPhone can do a lot but having it listen to you orgasm has to be the creepiest thing in a bedroom since Paranormal Activity.

Speaking of orgasms:

a) it seems you really need to get an invite to one of Pierre Fitch's house parties in Montreal, and

b) who knew a simple Twitter invitation from Rolling Stone political reporter Matt Taibbi could inspire such impure thoughts in this, your humble Xtra blogger?  Is it the ballcap?  The smirk? Or his definitive takedown of the entire Sarah Palin media circus?  All I know is that I can't get enough of his massive organ!

His brain.  C'mon, people!

But he's right -- Sarah Palin is done. How can she not be when she's being beaten down by not only Taibbi but also conservative pundit David Frum, 19-year-old "porn star" Levi Johnston and a surprisingly cutting Martha Stewart?  This clip is, yes, a good thing:

I love Levi for his "I'm winning" stance but on a purely shallow and gratuitous note?  Daaaaamn, that boy's ass is white! 

Are you loving the new TV comedy Cougar Town? Late-night comic Jimmy Kimmel alerts to the spinoff we never knew we needed:

And finally, I'm sorry to report that you need to stop hugging.  At least not with that nasty genital-area-touching style of hugging. One Christian teen rap group (a phrase I'll never tire of giggling at) has your Brand New Huggz Stylee or whatever the kids are calling it these days:

He's an odd duck, that Adam Lambert.

Just a week after he responded to OUT magazine's accusations of playing it straight with the standard "I'm a performer, not an activist" stance, he caps off last night's American Music Awards show with this spectacle:

And America was shocked (SHOCKED!) at such a display, with a lively (and, of course, homophobic) discussion over on Entertainment Weekly.  To spare you some time, the comments boil down to "Adam Lambert has ruined his career by being too sexually provocative and not focusing on having stronger vocals."

And they may be right -- as you'll see from the following examples, being sexually suggestive and having a weak voice has killed many a pop career: