Latest News Roundup - All posts tagged 'sam adams'
Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Penis penis penis penis penis

Yeah, okay, I'm twelve but seriously, it seems that's what it's all about today...

Having become instantly infamous as the 18(or 17?)-year-old lover of Portland mayor Sam Adams, Beau Breedlove is all set to extend his 15 minutes -- and his penis -- in a nude photo shoot for Unzipped magazine.  The news that Beau Breedlove is doing porn is the least shocking surprise since Clay Aiken came out!

Just plain shocking is the latest trend in skin care:  a wrinkle cream made from babies' foreskins.  Buy a case this week and get a free portrait of your soulless self!

There's a new drug on the market that can apparently stop premature ejaculation (not that you need such a drug, of course) but one doctor warns, "It doesn't work for all men and it can cause nausea and diarrhea."  Wow, there's a Sophie's Choice but I'm still excited to try...oh OH!  Never mind.

There are easier ways to defuse such a situation -- nothing will slow you down more than this godawful anti-gay propaganda now making the rounds (the sniper sights at 0:58 are an especially horrid touch):

In other 'sky-is-falling' developments, NBC News has a shocking report on a major American controversy!  Not the Iraq war, not the failing economy, but something far more urgent:

And you thought I was obsessed!


Thursday, January 22, 2009

Squirm, baby, squirm

Sorry to end all the Obama-era warm fuzzies but I need your help in deciding which of the following awkward video clips is the most cringe-inducing:

1) A press conference from the Clintonesque Sam Adams, who fought off allegations of having sex with his 18-year-old intern to become the mayor of Portland and then, umm, admitted to having sex with his 18-year-old intern:

(Adams was of course wrong to lie but you gotta admit, the boy is hot)

2) A "poetic justice" moment for George W. Bush made even more awkward:

3) The older gentleman who really, really doesn't want you to hug him:

4) The FOX News relationship expert who knows WAY too much about the Obamas' marriage:

5) The "Batman's Gay Roommate" LEGO cartoon (Seriously? Oy.)

 


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I drink your Kool-Aid!

Y'know, having spent more than eight years wailing about the sick devotion to George W. Bush still shown by a remarkable 25% of the American public, I would obviously feel more than a little hypocritical about treating Barack Obama like our new saviour.

But I don't care!

I'm watching the inauguration on TV today, wearing Chris Bishop's hilarious T-shirt and basking in the thrill of watching history in the making. Honestly, I never believed we'd see a black president in my lifetime -- even Eddie Murphy said so in 1983:

 
Now, as I've documented here over the last few weeks, Obama's track record on helping we the (gay) people has been shaky but journalist Rex Wockner has been asking a number of queer American movers and shakers what they think and the consensus phrase seems to be "cautious optimism."  I think I may have found Obama's theme song:
 
 
Mere weeks after being elected the first openly gay mayor of Portland, Sam Adams has admitted to the same sexual affair with an 18-year-old intern that he vigourously denied during the campaign.  Oh Sam, Sam, Sam, how could you forget the cardinal Clinton rule already?  It's not the sex, it's the lying!
 
It's almost certain that Obama will bitterly disappoint the gay community at some point (even more than he has already) but for now, I'll still praise him to the skies. Why? Because just by being himself, he's pissing off nutjobs like WorldNetDaily founder Joseph Farah, who writes:
"When the rule of men conflicts with the commands of God, the Bible leaves no doubt about where we should stand.

That's why I do not hesitate today in calling on godly Americans to pray that Barack Hussein Obama fail in his efforts to change our country from one anchored on self-governance and constitutional republicanism to one based on the raw and unlimited power of the central state.  It would be folly to pray for his success in such an evil campaign.

I want Obama to fail because his agenda is 100 percent at odds with God's. Pretending it is not simply makes a mockery of God's straightforward Commandments."

"Anchored?"  I can't believe he said "anchored!"  Obama was elected because America is not anchored.  It's out to sea.  It's the Titanic.  It's hit an iceberg.  It's hit three or four icebergs.  You don't need to read The Onion's terrifyingly funny coverage of the Bush years to know that we're in much better hands now.

I say "we" because a) the American president has more say over Canadian lives than we'd like to admit, and b) our own guy is no prize.  Inspired by the website poking fun at Obama's instantly iconic HOPE poster, I can only say it with this: 


Would John McCain have had a website this fun?  I don't think so!  So I'll be cheering Obama on today as he's sworn in as the 44th President of the United States, even while I tweak his image to pay tribute to my real hero. Seriously, my dog has done more for me than any politician ever!

 
 

Friday, January 2, 2009

Winners and losers

A gay leather weekend will be held in Washington DC January 16-18, just days before Barack Obama's inauguration. The coincidence should create some interesting pairings in the hotel elevators and while a spokesperson says the president-elect won't be attending the festivities, it does make this poster from San Francisco's recent Folsom Fair seem prophetic!



Heard the latest hot housing trend?  Forget condos -- you could live in a mall!  After all, it worked out so well in "Dawn of the Dead":

Sam Adams was sworn in yesterday as the new mayor of Portland, Oregon, the largest US city to have an openly gay leader. His campaign video is earnest and a bit dry but Adams comes off as smart, charming and kind of cute. One new and novel bit of the campaign, says the news story: "None of Adams' opponents raised his sexuality in the race. Neither did he."  Very cool.

Let's hope his opponent's supporters didn't react like those of "American Idol" runner-up David Archuleta -- I could watch this clip all day:

Think of these children while you're out having a great weekend!

 


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The Roundup

Xtra.ca's Roundup
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The Roundup is
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Andrea Houston
andrea.houston@xtra.ca

Natasha Barsotti
natasha.barsotti@xtra.ca

 


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