Remember the incident between gay gossip blogger Perez Hilton and the Black Eyed Peas manager back in June? You know -- that event that completely overshadowed everything that happened at the Much Music Video Awards earlier that night? (including Lady Gaga's fabulous flaming breasts)

Charges in the case have been dropped as the Black Eyed Peas manager and Hilton reached an agreement outside of court this morning, reports the Canadian Press.

 

Let's face it -- even when they're not wiping their boogers everywhere, straight men can be very confusing.  They'll say they're very uncomfortable with being hit on by a gay guy but then turn around and drop their pants for ESPN, the sports magazine with enough female fans to make up 17% of their readership.  That's like appearing in Chatelaine because you want to appeal to truck drivers (17%!).

But if "The Body Issue" convinces members of the Edmonton Oilers to pose for shots like this, well, I'm not complaining:

(Lord knows we've certainly seen sillier attempts to appeal to the ladies and not-the-gay-men-no-sir-not-at-all: the immortal boyband era is summed up with '30 Ridiculous Pictures of the Backstreet Boys.'  Does what it says on the tin.)

But for an extreme example of a straight guy wrestling with the divide between respecting human rights vs. his own homophobia.  Buju Banton, dancehall reggae star and target of worldwide murder music protests, finally met with gay activists to discuss how not to be a hatemongering thug but still couldn't agree to a single one of their ideas, probably because he is a hatemongering thug.

Meanwhile, Moscow is home to my favourite example of such schizophrenia -- the city is pushing to close its oldest and most popular gay bar in a morals campaign while its homophobic mayor Yury Luzhkov just teamed up with Hillary Clinton to unveil a park statue dedicated to poet Walt Whitman (Whitman!).  This from the country that gave us vodka, Tchaikovsky and Nicholay Petrov?

Sometimes such a divide can work though -- like in this Guardian UK article that manages to be both an intriguing look at current record industry woes and a bitchy slapdown of Perez Hilton.  It can be done!

But in the end, we're all divided in some way or another. This blog, for instance, loves to celebrate queer Canada but can't quite bring itself to proclaim Toronto YouTube performer Tonetta the next big thing.  Perhaps you won't be so conflicted:

Since this blog so often focuses on the latest lunacy from the homophobic Christian right (and there's so much to choose from!), it's only fair that I salute our straight allies in the church once in a while -- especially while they're making popcorn:

"We believe in taking the Bible seriously, but not literally." It's a nice start to undoing centuries of oppression, no?  And there's more where that came from.

What's lovely is that we're getting Lutherans on board and have even managed to win over cranky Presbyterian David Letterman, who this week not only treated us to the most awkward Britney Spears appearance ever (loves it!!) but also talked gay marriage with Donald Trump (not a proposal, thankfully -- just a very old but still welcome joke):

Letterman would never have stood up for us back on 'Late Night!'  But if today's brief focus on straight, middle-aged Christian guys isn't working for you (can't see how!), Perez Hilton has handy tips on how to stalk the cast of 'Twilight' in Vancouver.  See?  Whether you love straight men or looooove straight men, today we've got you covered!

 

The Public Display of Affection is a very charming thing -- quick, spontaneous and lovely:

Unless you're gay.  Then it's an arrest for "lewd conduct."

This weekend, 'kiss-in' protests were held in both Salt Lake City, Utah and El Paso, Texas after two male couples were cited by the police for kissing in public. And they say romance is dead!

I like the kiss-in because it's all about visibility.  Homophobes don't want to be reminded of gay sex, gay love or gay Camaro go-go boys.  Well, okay, that last one is simply General Motors spokesman Dave Barthmuss, who said GM's sassy car wash video promoting the Camaro and the 'Transformers' movie back in June "was not appropriate and not in good taste."  Ever sensitive towards the public, GM pulled the video, laid off 2000 workers and asked the government for another 10 billion dollars.

Speaking of bailouts, I tried to throw "gossip gangstar" Perez Hilton a bone during his Hell Week by arguing that, like him or not, he still has every right to voice his opinions.  But now it turns out that they're not even his opinions.  Oh Perez, you plagarizing putz, maybe it's time to listen to your pal John Mayer.

The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation criticized Hilton and now the new movie 'Bruno' but who's listening?  The comedy opened this weekend at number one with a $30-million haul.  That'll buy a lot of anal beaching!

But let Perez and Bruno play the fool -- their desperate attention-whoring just makes the everyday gay PDA seem simple, sweet even. Eventually, we'll be left alone to live our lives however we like because most people won't be paying attention to us or even their own feet.  Until then, here's one thing we can all agree on: guinea pigs eating watermelon.  Adorable!

 

TODAY ON BON:

By slapping down Minister of State for Tourism Diane Ablonczy for giving money to Pride Toronto, the Conservative federal government appears homophobic!

In an interview with the Advocate, gossip blogger Perez Hilton comes off as a narcissistic creep with delusions of grandeur:

Gay people are discriminated against in the corporate world!

US governor (and whining quitter) Sarah Palin lies!  All the time!

The Made in Brazil website thinks model Carlos Freire is sexy.  Well, duh:

The head of the Canadian Olympic Committee has realized that ordinary Canadians will not confuse a gay hookup website with the Olympics. He says, "It would be absurd for us to be protesting this."  Umm...yes.

And finally, an online poll reveals that people speculate over which celebrities are gay (how do you think we got stuck with Perez Hilton in the first place?) though some of their choices are odd (Mario Lopez?):

Personally, I'd swap Josh Groban and Hugh Jackman but hey, who can say...?  What are your choices?