It feels like there's been no shortage of bad news this week.  The death of Chris Skinner.  The Winnipeg bathhouse arson.  The passing of former Whistler, BC mayor Ted Nebbeling.  The thought of losing The Hidden Cameras to Berlin.  And then...this completely appalling baptism footage:

So I'm not going to let another dime-a-dozen religious homophobe get me down.  At times like this, I like to focus on the little things -- a few random bits that made me smile and hopefully you too:

-- Three words, people:  Ecuador transgender makeovers!

-- The over-the-top delight of the Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken Doll. My Earring Magic Ken's been so very lonely!

-- Levi Johnson's veiled threats to blab Sarah Palin's secrets.  We joked about wanting to see what's in his pants; who knew we'd now want to see what's in his mind?

-- Actor Forbes March finally confirming what soap opera fans already knew: gay teen couple Luke and Noah are so tragically bland because they're forced to be

-- The Ooh La La guys are showing off the new Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue.  I may hate the clothes but I love the models who don't wear them:

-- Michael Bublé insisting he's not that "clean-cut" Canadian kid by revealing that he smokes pot and was once pegged as gay.  Ooooh...badass!

-- "A Tragic Video History Of Male Nudity In Science Fiction [NSFW]," the amusing list that reminded me how hot Russell Crowe looked in Virtuosity

-- what, you thought I'd forget to mention Obama finally signing that hate crimes bill into law?  A great day for our American friends!

-- and finally, another hit of silliness from late-night comic Craig Ferguson.  Sure, I posted his last dance number just a couple weeks ago but this one is just as hilarious and really, really, really gay: 

I waited nine long, arduous years for this moment but George W. Bush held his last White House press conference today and this disastrous president went out the way he came in -- feeble and awkward:

And please let the door hit your ass on the way out. 

As American conservatism now grabbles with how to revive itself, like some home-schooled zombie, its scavengers are left with the only thing they still feel sure of:  good old-fashioned homophobic hatred!  The man who wants to lead the Republican National Committee is insisting that "homosexuality is a compulsion that can be contained, repressed or changed" while a recent transgender anti-discrimination bill in Gainsville, Florida spawned this useless but ridiculously fearmongering TV ad:

And in a surreal finale, we have the sad and desperate vision of the US right-wing's folksy "aw, shucks" face, Mike Huckabee, arguing with its severe, angular face, Ann Coulter, over how "pro-sodomy" Huckabee is:

"Scout's honour!"  I love it.  Moving on, lest we contemplate the barren wasteland that must be Mike Huckabee's bedroom, we happily look ahead to a new era for America. Now I'm not convinced Barack Obama is "pro-sodomy" but his press secretary gave a solid "yes" to the question of ending the ban on gays in the military. Fortunately, there has never been a ban on military in the gays.

Also exciting is the news that Obama has asked openly gay Episcopal bishop Gene Robinson to deliver the invocation at the opening party before his inauguration. This provides some balance after the furor over Rick Warren's spot at the actual inauguration. Skeptics think Obama picked Robinson as damage control but the bishop says he was actually asked long before. Why'd he wait so long? Please, he's gay -- he was just waiting until Beyoncé signed on before he'd commit!

Yes, America's "pro-sodomy" era is here! Remember that soap-opera clip I posted yesterday? Turns out it was only the first half: while gay teen characters Luke and Noah made headlines by making out in August 2007, yesterday they finally(!) had quaint, 1950s off-screen sex.  Hooray for teenage gay sodomy on American housewives' afternoon television!  Here's to the future:

Everybody's fighting!  Today, I'm addressing some recent feedback I've received on pop culture topics like terrorist death threats, black homophobia, war in the Middle East and religious bigotry.  Man, where's Rodney King when you need him?

It's gotten so bad that even the adorable soap-opera gay teens Luke and Noah are at each other's throats on today's show: 

Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, all of its conventions -- the family gatherings, the desperate shopping, the tacky decorations -- are still awfully fun to mock and no one did it better than John Waters! "Female Trouble" ranks with "It's a Wonderful Life" as a holiday classic:

My own Christmas celebrations haven't been quite so catastrophic. They tend to go more like this:

When family dinner gets extra passive-aggressive, I tend to start imagining this:

And, after staying with my parents for days, I start to thank the underwear people who give us Christmas-themed soft-porn cheese:

Guest-blogging for Boing Boing, sexpert Susie Bright reminds us why children can be a trial this time of year (or any, really):

But maybe, if you're lucky, your holiday just might end up as adorable as Luke and Noah under the mistletoe:

Whoever posted that video, by the way, helpfully labelled it "Luke and Noah Kiss 18" -- number one being a full year-and-a-half ago. Still no sign of any sex yet. Is there an Amnesty International for fictional soap opera characters?

But hey, maybe I'll keep watching, since I'm taking the rest of the week off to eat turkey and defensively explain to relatives that yes, writing is a job and no, I am not done with "that gay thing" yet.  Have a merry week and I'll see you Monday!