After the California Supreme Court voted yesterday to uphold the ban on same-sex marriage, police in San Francisco arrested 175 people for disrupting daily society.  The police were relieved, however, that the protesters didn't also marry each other, as that would have completely destroyed society!

There were protests all over America but here in Vancouver and Toronto as well:

Yes, the court ruling is depressing but the fact that California now has 18,000 married gay couples living alongside hundreds of thousands more who can't plainly shows everyone how ridiculous and untenable this ban is.  US President Matt Coles stepped forward to address the nation on the need for equal marriage:

What's that?  Coles isn't the US president?  Barack Obama is?  Oh, well what did he say?

Oh Obama, the silence -- it burns, it burns!  Fortunately, queer people have always been good at taking matters into our own hands, so the campaign for a new vote has already begun:

What kills me about this whole debate is its astonishing one-sidedness:  the anti-gay-marriage argument is based on fear, abstract notions of "the family" and contradictory religious texts, while the pro-gay-marriage argument is based on fairness, everyday practicality and love. I can't see how anyone could argue the logic and fair play in this New York ad:

And, of course, we've got pop culture firmly on our side -- there's the flamboyant 'American Idol' singer, a kinda-creepy Indian Microsoft commerical and even ordinary shows remixed to be more gay on YouTube. The gays are everywhere and who could hate same-sex marriage after watching Kevin propose on 'Brothers & Sisters'?

And all this talk about gay marriage distracts us from talking about the real questions:

Does the Ontario government need to give $23 million to the studio making Elton John's movie when he's probably got that much behind one of his sofa cushions?

Is there really a Catholic archbishop willing to stand up to the Vatican??

And what the hell is this thing???

Okay no, not really, just touring with piano man Elton John again, but he did inspire this impressive montage of gay history to celebrate 40 years of Pride. He didn't start the fire but it's flaming:

Yeah, that quip was terrible but hey, I'm an innocent man!  Unlike Conrad Black, who says shrill homophobe Ann Coulter is always a woman to him:

"With her long blonde hair, micro-dresses that may incite the prurient to hope for an occasional fleeting glimpse of her underwear and photographs on her book jackets of her in leather dresses, arms akimbo, like a stern but voluptuous school mistress, she is...eccentric, alluring and slightly outrageous..."

Gross, Conrad -- leave a tender moment alone!

Here's happier news:  in a case of blonde over blue, Peterborough police staff sergeant John Lyons dressed in drag for a diversity training event. "We're not just talking the talk," said the uptown girl, "We're walking the walk."

Honesty is hardly ever heard but New York teacher Chance Nalley is not only out to his Harlem seventh grade math class, he's invited them to his commitment ceremony.  While a couple of parents have complained, the kids are keeping the faith -- even correcting the reporter by noting "he’s not gay. He’s bisexual."  See, Mr. Nalley? They love you just the way you are.

Keeping in a New York state of mind, who knew there was an awards ceremony for rentboys?  The Hookies were held at Splash this weekend.  I can't see this happening in Canada for the longest time but don't ask me why -- it ain't no crime.  In the great suburban showdown, go ahead with your own life, leave them alone!

You think this gimmick is getting out of hand?  You may be right, I may be crazy.  Let's just skip right to the Brazilian underwear fashion show -- shameless!

Everybody's talking 'bout the new sound -- funny, but it's still rock and roll to me...

 

Okay -- first, let's get all of the horrible news out of the way:

Pennsylvania resident Heath Campbell is very angry at a supermarket bakery for refusing to put his son's name on a birthday cake. Seems little Adolph Hitler Campbell will be so disappointed!

At least he won't be alone: a recently released FBI report (PDF) reveals the American military contains more neo-Nazis than ever.  Once (if?) the Iraq War ends, they'll be home and looking for things to do with all that free time!

At least the Iraq war was worth it, right? And if not, Bush says, "So what?"

Meanwhile, shoe-throwing Iraqi journalist Muntader al-Zaidi is facing 15 years in prison. Too bad they weren't stilettos!

From out of British Columbia comes the week's most confusing headline: "Gay teenagers at higher risk of pregnancy." That and the recent suicide study have me seriously wondering what's going on out west.

And, worst of all, comes word that, due to the faltering economy, CTV is retiring "Canadian Idol" for a year. This is horrible news!  Where else are we going to find the next Whatshisname?

But no matter how many strange or horrible things we face, Christmas is a time of hope, as drag legend RuPaul pulled double-duty to show us on her holiday card from the White House:

And another big gay hero celebrated the holiday in style as Melissa Etheridge joined the "View" ladies to sing a Christmas song and lay the smackdown on Elizabeth Hasselbeck:

And for all the Mormons vs. Gays talk on this site since last month's Prop 8 debacle, I'm proud of "Wicked" composer Stephen Schwartz's decision to turn the other cheek and allow Mormon singing groups to keep using his songs. Too bad they're not listening to the lyrics they're singing.

But a lovely example of what can happen when gays and Mormons work together is the new Christmas charity single "Joseph, Better You Than Me," from The Killers. Frontman Brandon Flowers (still the best name ever!) is a straight Mormon boy who loves his gay idols Elton John and Pet Shop Boy Neil Tennant so much, he got them to duet on this odd-but-lovely song.

This collaboration is by no means the only Christmas song they've done. "Joseph" is actually the third one from the Killers this year:

The Pet Shop Boys performed a holiday number for Elton John's TV special:

And finally, of course, the Rocket Man sang this classic waaaay back in 1973:

 

Sure, there was a lot of tittering over Daniel Radcliffe's nude scene in "Equus" this past year but the "Harry Potter" star really came into his own at a Broadway AIDS benefit last week, debuting his hilarious love song to his horse co-star:

In other Annoying British People News, Sir Elton John has lost his lawsuit against the UK newspaper that made fun of him. While we feel for our Velvet Mafia leader, there is still a great sigh of relief as we now continue with our regularly scheduled Elton John teasing!

In Annoying Wannabe-British People News, Madonna has granted ex-hubby Guy Ritchie 50 million pounds, one of the largest divorce settlements ever. He even gets to keep his pub! It's said that Madonna will be moving back to New York -- we look forward to hearing her retire that off-putting fake British accent and reclaim her off-putting fake Bronx accent!

Sometimes teasing goes too far:  everyone's picking on poor actor Scott Caan for getting his balls caught on film by paparazzi while out surfing, and then there's the weirdo who took Neil Patrick Harris' adorable chat with Elmo on "Sesame Street" and turned it into something dirty!

Get ready to tease Ellen Degeneres and Britney Spears -- they're going Christmas caroling on Ellen's show today, if you seek enough!

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences raised eyebrows this week when they ignored all the comedians out there and chose Hugh Jackman to host next year's Oscar Awards.  But why not?  He's hosted the Tonys and the man knows how to put on a show:

Watching Hugh camp it up in shiny gold pants might seem like pandering to us gays but no -- the hot, hot new trailer for next summer's "Wolverine" film is pandering to us gays!

A decade in the making, Gus Van Sant's biopic of legendary gay rights activist Harvey Milk opens today in Toronto and Vancouver. Here's the glorious trailer, followed by some words from the man himself:

Even the straight-and-certainly-narrow David Letterman liked the movie enough to kiss James Franco -- get your tickets here!

There's signs of hope everywhere:

-- a Florida judge has declared the state's 30-year-old ban on gay adoption unconstitutional, finding "no rational reason" to keep orphaned children out of caring homes. The judge wrote, "The most important factor in ensuring a well-adjusted child is the quality of parenting." That's what we've been saying!

-- California's Fair Political Practices Commission is going to investigate the Mormon church's $22 million in contributions to ban gay marriage. How can they say they're a humble little faith group when they're throwing around more money than Elton John in a Versace store?

-- 'The Advocate' magazine insists that the California marriage vote didn't fail because of rampant bigotry but in large part because of lazy, useless gay leadership. Umm, that's sort of good news, I guess...

-- a university in redneck Kentucky held "live homosexual acts" right on the campus lawn!

-- on a purely malicious note, rumour has it that rightwing harpy Ann Coulter has broken her jaw and had her mouth wired shut, making it hard for her to plug her upcoming anti-Obama book, "Guilty." Until I heard this news, I was an atheist!

-- and hey, Guns N' Roses' guitarist Slash and his wife are on our side!

Of course, Harvey Milk's crusade hasn't been won yet: a man in Iowa was arrested for owning gay sex comic books while the government of Indonesia wants to implant microchips in HIV-positive people!

Yes, the future could be scary if we let it: for instance, if you believe the year's coolest movie poster, the city of Los Angeles will look pretty ugly in ten years but, in other geek news, we'll soon have a gay couple joining in on the apocalyptic drama of 'Battlestar Galactica':

I'm assuming that 'BSG' won't end with the final destruction of all mankind. Like Harvey said, you gotta give 'em hope!