Chances are, if you're reading this, you're not in the closet.  At least I hope not.  It's dark and cramped in there and the secrets smell like old socks left in the back corner.

But it's one thing to know that life is better without secrets and quite another thing to actually figure out when and how to let go of them.  That's where a guy like Howard Bragman comes in -- he's a publicist in LA who helps celebrities come out.  I traded emails with him a couple years back when basketball player John Amaechi made the brave decision to go public about being gay and Bragman made the process easy for everyone concerned.

For those not famous enough to need a PR guy or rich enough to afford one, however, we have True Love Lies, the new play from Edmonton-born Brad Fraser in which the sexual secrets of an entire family come spilling out in hilarious and poignant ways:

Debuting in the UK last year, now running in Toronto until Nov. 1 and hopefully being restaged elsewhere after that, this loose sequel to Fraser's classic Unidentified Human Remains and the True Nature of Love begins as a zippy post-nuclear-family sitcom before growing into something far stranger and sadder as the characters (beautifully played by the terrific ensemble) each wrestle with not only what secrets they're hiding from each other but also what secrets they're hiding from themselves.

We don't look at a lot of theatre here on the Roundup (preferring to leave that to the mighty Rob Salerno) but seeing this play after reading the big writeup on Bragman and his efforts to free Hollywood types from their own prisons only made its themes stand out even more -- the truth shall set you free...sort of.

We tend to believe that whether that truth is something unpleasant (like learning that the potential HIV vaccine is a dud) or something controversial (listen for the sound of shrieking girls as Esquire magazine insists that the Twilight vampires are gay) or something awkward (the British tabloids going to town on further details on the death of out singer Stephen Gately), one must reveal all, but one of the most provocative things about True Love Lies is right there in the title -- for the sake of those we love, some secrets are better kept.

Sex advice columnist Dan Savage riffed on this notion a while back and, just for kicks, I'm reprinting it here today because it's so valuable.  Savage is one of the gay community's great truth-tellers so it's weird to hear him argue on behalf of illusion:

Ultimately, all these men are asking the big questions:  who do we lie to, when do we tell the truth and how do we know the difference?

It seems everyone's had a shot at Perez Hilton this past day, following his scuffle with The Black Eyed Peas' will.i.am, his Twittering for help and his subsequent hissy fit on his website.  If a straight man punches a gay man for calling him a "faggot," is it a hate crime?

None of this should matter much to anyone else -- much less make national news -- but Hilton is one of the most famous gay men in North America.  He's very visible -- even more so when, well, black-eyed.  Like it or not, when he speaks, people pay attention -- even the ones with cum dribbling out of their mouths.

And visibility is what's it about. I'll take insufferable Perez any day over the people who wish he'd be silent, people like US politician John Eichelberger, who says gay people don't need equal rights because those in charge "allow them to exist."  Here's the gory details:

I believe in honesty so I'll admit it: I'm not feeling very funny today; just a bit annoyed. You know that dizzy, confused feeling you get from the crazy plot-twist endings of movies like "The Sixth Sense" or "The Usual Suspects?" Try to imagine the exact utter opposite of that and you'll have the world's reaction to the announcement that Clay Aiken is gay.

Now Clay (can I call you Clay?), I'm not trying to pick on you. Your coming out is a brave act of honesty that's appreciated even as it comes long, long after anyone could ever give a shit. It's just that, right after becoming a star on "American Idol" in 2002, you almost immediately began denying rumours about your sexuality, finally whining to People magazine in 2006, "It doesn't matter what I say. People are going to believe what they want." Only when they clearly know you're lying, you little tool! Even when one of your Manhunt tricks went and posted your webcam pics on the Internet (which, yes, is very wrong), you still hid and lied. No one cared! You could have come out then but no -- still this ridiculous pretense that's even less plausible than that of Ricky Martin.

I pick on Clay Aiken because of Will Young. In 2002, at the age of 23, he was the winner of the original "Pop Idol" in the UK (Aiken appeared later that year on the subsequent American version). Since then, they've both gained lots of fans and remained on the charts in their respective countries, except that Will Young came out immediately after his win. While Aiken spent the last six years lying to reporters (and probably himself), Young has been forthright about his sexuality in videos both sensitive and funny:

Is it fair to compare the two of them? Growing up in England was no doubt kinder to Will Young than Clay Aiken's American Southern Baptist upbringing but in an interview this week, the British pop star described himself as "the worst gay person ever" because he's reluctant to campaign for gay rights issues. That headline is now everywhere and it's unfair because it's never occurred to Young that it's possible to do even less. Cheers to Clay Aiken for finally telling the truth but, just like on "American Idol," he came in second.

With all that said, it's time once again for a big salute to Ellen DeGeneres, who schools everyone in how to be politically active, charming and funny, and to (who knew?) Lindsay Lohan, who's made the whole 'coming out' story kind of pointless by just living her life and dating her girlfriend out in the open. It's never been about labels, just honesty.