He's the country singer who's been outed more often than Tom Cruise but Kenny Chesney told Playboy magazine just how many women he's slept with: "Man, I was over 100 several years ago...I've got a long line of girls who could testify that I am not gay."

Fine, fine, we believe you.  Now please -- finally -- GO AWAY.

Another guy we could do without, Bill Clinton nemesis Kenneth Starr is now working on behalf of the anti-gay-marriage people in California. His strategy?  Ignore the gay issue altogether and focus on whether voters can rebel against supreme court decisions.  See, it's all just policy games to guys like him -- they don't even care about the real people who want to stay married.

But here's more good reason to love living in Canada: we still have banks!

As a journalist, I'm sensitive to how hard it is to get busy people on the phone for an interview...or at least I was until this National Post reporter's public meltdown. I love how April calls him "dude."

Leading up to their upcoming two-disc greatest hits album, Erasure are back with a "2009 mix" of their very pretty classic "Always."  Damned if I can tell the difference between it and the original though:

And finally, here's something to ponder:  many gay people like cats, many don't; many gay people want to have children someday, many don't.  Depending on wherever you stand, this little girl and her book review probably won't change your opinion:

What would Kenny Chesney say?

Like Don Henley said, there's just not enough love in the world...

Legendary singer Etta James says, at laaaaaaaaast, she's gonna whoop Beyoncé's ass.  Meow!

Kellogg's has dropped Michael Phelps from endorsing Corn Flakes, thanks to his bong hit last week.  I will therefore be dropping Kellogg's from my shopping list.  Boycotts are tough, though -- Froot Loops are so good when you're stoned!

But then there's new senator Mike Duffy, whose political grandstanding took an erotic turn:

"I was disappointed to see that our dynamic young premier in Prince Edward Island, Robert Ghiz, has climbed into bed with the premier of Newfoundland...You know what happened, what a grotesque scene that is. You know what happens when two politicians climb into bed together. One of them comes out on top and I'm afraid when you're in bed with Danny Williams, he's going to be on top."

This Valentine's Day, think of Mike Duffy, the dreamer, the bottom:

On the other side of the country, the Canadian Human Rights Commission has dismissed a claim by Edmonton gay activist Rob Wells against the Christian Heritage Party's anti-gay writings but you wouldn't know it from all the whining. The CHP's Ron Grey says activists like Wells are "using the power of the state to silence critics."  Uh...Ron?  You won.  And you're not exactly silent, are you?

Time magazine's Claire Sudduth really hates Facebook -- and possibly humanity itself!

The job of saving humanity, however (now there's a segue) belongs to "Torchwood" -- the bisexual alien hunters are back this summer and, if you don't blink during the brand-new trailer, you'll catch a bit of lovin':

Dutch couple Hendricus Johannes Deijkers and Christianus Huijbregts had the first gay Hindu wedding ceremony at a Bali island resort. Adorable! 

Slated for construction in Singapore, the EDITT tower is one part office building, one part forest! 

The Bacon Fatty Melt is a bacon cheeseburger between two grilled-cheese-and-bacon sandwiches.  YES!!!

Back to the future! Tomorrow's new 'Entertainment Weekly' has first photos from next summer's 1960s-and-beyond 'Star Trek' revamp. Captain Kirk is looking better than ever!

Are the Sarah Palin parodies getting out of hand?  There's the 'Palin as President' interactive website, the New York cabaret songs (from the folks who brought you 'Brokeback Mountain: The Musical') and, most disturbingly, La Pequeña joins in on the fun:

When the stock market fell 700 points on Sept. 29, Manhunt recorded three times as many new memberships than usual and the media is now alarmed about a rise in "sex addiction." But how is that news?  When someone's love life dries up, they say they'll focus on their career. Did no one think the opposite ever happens?

Rumour has it Liberal leader Stephane Dion will quit as early as today.  Too soon!  The door is going to hit his ass!

The final debate between US presidential candidates John McCain and Barack Obama was last night and it looked eerily similar to this:

And some reminders of Things that are Entirely True:
-- Asians love the gays!
-- The Onion is as scary/funny now as it was eight years ago
-- smoking will kill you but make you look really old first

And finally, there's a cool timeline of every stupid Internet fad that's ever been emailed to you at work. So what's one more?  Here's a cat flushing a toilet:

Tory Toronto Centre riding candidate Chris Reid resigned this weekend after postings on his (now vanished) blog came under scrutiny. Reid wrote that the passengers on the Greyhound bus in which passenger Tim McLean was murdered should've been carrying handguns. He criticized them for lacking "any courage or self-sacrifice" and blamed socialism for creating "a castrated effeminate population." Tory spokespeople insist that Reid was not silenced; he quit because "he wanted to pursue other things." Freed from the rigours of politics, Reid will now have lots of time to handle his large, thick, manly penis.

If any gay conservative should have been silenced, it was blogger Andrew Sullivan on the political talk show "Real Time with Bill Maher" Friday night. While Canadian journalist Naomi Klein attempted to discuss America's financial clusterfuck nightmare and her enlightening book "The Shock Doctrine," Sullivan kept steamrolling over her with his pie-in-the-sky theories of "real" capitalism. Andrew, we love a brainy bear but shut the hell up for a minute and let the lady talk!

But perhaps being a little conservative wouldn't hurt singer George Michael, who was arrested with drugs in a toilet again this weekend but got off (ahem) with a warning. Some are questioning such leniency but c'mon, if the British courts took action every time George got arrested in a toilet, they'd have no time to prosecute any other crime!

Maybe George should try Air Sex -- it's totally safe, done in public and Kevin-Smith-approved!

But the ultimate in conservatism is not moving at all, like the terrifying Ninja Cat: