Everyone was talking about Barack Obama's first trip to Ottawa yesterday but his trip was a total failure, says New York City porn czar Michael Lucas. After Canadian border guards banned his film "Piss!" (you read it here first), Lucas penned a latter to Obama demanding he take it up with Stephen Harper. Lucas wrote:

As our economy teeters on the brink of total collapse, it would be foolish to deny access of such a high quality, proven money maker onto shelves of the Great White North’s porn stores.

Who wouldn't want to be a fly on the wall for that conversation?

But I doubt it (ahem) came up -- they probably thought like Minnesota state senator Paul Koering who, despite being gay, voted against a gay marriage bill because, he says, "the state faces bigger problems."  Uh-huh.  The incredibly manly conservative Jesus' General explores just what those are.

Gay or straight, it's indeed the failing economy that's our biggest issue but watch how the amazingly insane Georgia State Rep. Charlice Byrd wants to use the crisis to fire all the university queer theory professors! For sheer unadulterated homophobia, this is total "Heart of Darkness" stuff right here:

But not all our enemies are without -- Tyra Banks had three truly irritating homophobes on her show, except the kooky daytime TV twist here is that they're all self-loathing homosexuals.  How cheery!

There are four more segments -- follow the YouTube link if you can stomach it -- but I'd rather direct you to a more provocative take on the same subject: the sexy "Shortbus" actor/singer Jay Brannan would be far less quick to judge these guys -- he says he's "sick of talking about it":

I don't want my album or the films I'm in to be in the "gay section" of a music or video store. I think having a gay section at the video store is the same as asking black people to drink from a different water fountain, or to sit at the back of the bus..."gay" shouldn't BE a genre.

Careful, Jay -- you're going to put me out of work!  I disagree with him insofar that comments like his tend to mutate into a different kind of closet or worse, attitudes like those Tyra guys, but he is correct in reading how the lines between straight and gay culture are getting ever blurrier.

For instance, take the British "twee-pop" duo The Boy Least Likely To -- their adorable whimsy makes them fabulously fey. Are they gay?  Are they straight?  Who cares, as long as they keep subverting macho indie-rock clichés?  In a homophobic world, they're letting us know that "Every Goliath Has Its David": 

Today, we've got what it says on the tin...

Thanks to the internet, I'd thought I'd encountered every possible fetish by this point but no -- here comes Dinosaurs Fucking Robots!  I was this close to coining the term 'bi-ceratops' but knew someone would slap me.

Xtra's man in Parliament Dale Smith is spending today covering the people who are covering the people who are covering Barack Obama's first presidential visit.  Smith's not impressed, even if Obama "comes in riding on a unicorn with trumpeting angels heralding his arrival."  If only -- it'd be better than the treatment Obama got from the foul, anti-gay editorial cartoonist Sean Delonas, who proves once again that the pen is douchier than the sword! 

Sure, you're asking, "What the hell is with the horse peeing rainbows?" but the bigger question is, can you make through all 1:21 of its "song?"

Who knew Canada had its own X-Files? I can sleep at night knowing that someone is out there, trying to catch the Wendigo.  And I still maintain that the Chinook is caused by aliens.

Speaking of aliens, while we wait for the new season of 'Torchwood' later this year, the UK TV site has an adorable online comic that proves Captain Jack will flirt in any medium:

Of course, since aliens don't exist, homosexuals are our greatest threat, says Utah state senator Chris Buttars. Gay people, he insists, are "the meanest buggers I have ever seen...just like the Muslims." As always, the facts prove him completely wrong but who needs facts when you're a senator?

Now I'd love to see Buttars locked in a UFC cage with Margaret Atwood, who has refused to attend a Dubai literary festival because the organizers banned a book that contained a gay character. Go, Peggy!

I was going to go out on a limb and say that this was the weirdest video I have ever seen but that was even before CBC hosts Steven and Chris showed up:

But finally, some good music -- as I mentioned on Tuesday, the Pet Shop Boys received their "Outstanding Contribution to Music" honour at the Brit Awards last night and had Lady Gaga and Brandon Flowers join them for a very weird, very wonderful medley of their two decades of hits:

And yes, I promise I won't mention them again until at least, say, March 24th...

Yeah, okay, I'm twelve but seriously, it seems that's what it's all about today...

Having become instantly infamous as the 18(or 17?)-year-old lover of Portland mayor Sam Adams, Beau Breedlove is all set to extend his 15 minutes -- and his penis -- in a nude photo shoot for Unzipped magazine.  The news that Beau Breedlove is doing porn is the least shocking surprise since Clay Aiken came out!

Just plain shocking is the latest trend in skin care:  a wrinkle cream made from babies' foreskins.  Buy a case this week and get a free portrait of your soulless self!

There's a new drug on the market that can apparently stop premature ejaculation (not that you need such a drug, of course) but one doctor warns, "It doesn't work for all men and it can cause nausea and diarrhea."  Wow, there's a Sophie's Choice but I'm still excited to try...oh OH!  Never mind.

There are easier ways to defuse such a situation -- nothing will slow you down more than this godawful anti-gay propaganda now making the rounds (the sniper sights at 0:58 are an especially horrid touch):

In other 'sky-is-falling' developments, NBC News has a shocking report on a major American controversy!  Not the Iraq war, not the failing economy, but something far more urgent:

And you thought I was obsessed!

The use of social networking site Facebook is growing exponentially so there are, of course, growing pains.  Despite founder Mark Zuckerberg's attempt to explain the site's update to its Terms of Service -- now insisting on a right to own the material you post even if you quit -- the reaction against this change has been swift and pointed (and, if you're Perez Hilton, hysterical).

Now me, I love Facebook -- it's incredibly handy for keeping in touch with people I don't get to see that often -- but I have never posted any of my writing, artwork or important photos to the site. The stuff I value stays on my hard drive, owned by no one but me. As for the rest, well, as an out gay activist who proudly, happily "flaunts" my personal life, the concept of privacy is a touch more...flexible with me (ha!) but it's still something everyone should consider when using a social networking site -- or the internet at all.

The book "The End of Privacy" was released in 1999 -- it generated surprisingly little public discussion back then and now, frankly, it's too late.  Whether it's Facebook or Flickr or (eek) Manhunt, there is no privacy on the internet.  It seems weird for people to get upset at Facebook for having the same legal approach as Google. Whether or not you remember Googling "hot twink amputee porn" (oh, like I'm the only one), Google does and they keep it all on file.

Why suddenly freak out over Facebook's invasion of privacy when we're the ones posting photos of us drunk and in our underwear? A culture obsessing over Britney Spears' current mental state can hardly whine about privacy but nevertheless, it's a debate we all need to be having.  Facebook wants (needs!) to make money with its huge pool of users somehow and if it scares away the smart, vigilant people concerned about being co-opted or controlled, well that only leaves them a massive group of people who aren't.  Perfect. I say stick around, use Facebook in a way that helps you and stay watchful.

This, in a slightly clumsy segue, is another reason why I've always loved the Pet Shop Boys. They explored all of these issues in a three-minute pop song -- who else can do that?  And, tomorrow night, they'll be honoured for two decades of genius at the Brit Awards, with Lady Gaga joining them on stage.  Facebook succeeded by tapping into our very real, very powerful need for connection, validation and even fame and the Boys know all about that too:

Sad how tainted that phrase has become, so ugly, but since four provinces in Canada introduced Family Day, it's important for queer people to reclaim it -- though maybe not as desperately as this:

See, my Family Day involves resting up after a night of dancing and drinking with friends, then taking the dog to the park, calling my niece and dinner with more friends. I like to keep it simple.

But whatever your family looks like -- biological, chosen, friends, lovers, fuckbuddies, drag mothers, bowling team or whatever have you -- throw some love their way. That's what it's all about.  Let's not let our latest statutory holiday become just a right-wing invention designed to focus on a narrow, exclusionary aspect of our rich and vibrant society.

Here's a video that still makes me laugh because it upset people who thought Spongebob Squarepants could turn kids gay.  If only!  The only thing this video will do to children is make them laugh and maybe dance. Not a bad way to spend Family Day at all...