In a shocking revelation, FOX News' Sean Hannity watched the Oscars last Sunday (I thought he was straight?) and was shocked (shocked!) at the clips from "Milk" aired in an awards show honouring "Milk."  As usual, Hannity was only doing it for the kids:

Nice of GLAAD to try and inject some rationality into the discussion because it's never been the FOX gang's strong suit.  For real comedy, check out Glenn Beck's "debate" with a marijuana legalization activist:

Beck is a truly unique piece of work.  I haven't seen a tool that big since Rascal's "Excess Dildo."

But see?  I'm part of the problem!  No kid should have to see giant dildoes on the internet (unless he's the one Googling it, I suppose). Maybe their right-wing defenders have a point:

No, I was right the first time -- they're idiots.  Kids need loving, stable families, regardless of the number of mommies or daddies within.  I can't believe we're still arguing this point after the "thousands of sociological research studies" that Mr. Staver here clearly hasn't read.

The only person truly looking out for the children?  Cyndi Lauper. 

While Mr. Milk himself, Sean Penn, has teased ex-wife Madonna about her recent boytoy flings, Cyndi was asked her opinion:

"What's your issue? You know how many old geezers do you see with young women. What's the double standard? Who cares? You know, they're both adults. Who cares? What's good for the goose is good for the gander."

Thanks to the gays' True Colors diva, straight boys can live in a world where they too can have sex with Madonna.  You're welcome!

Could there be such a ghastly thing as AIDS cheerleaders?  Unfortunately, there's always at least one.

With yet another distressing study showing that HIV can mutate faster than Madonna goes through record producers, leave it to Colorado state senator Dave Schultheis to oppose a bill funding HIV tests for expecting mothers and then explaining to us the silver lining of AIDS:

“What I’m hoping is that, yes, that person may have AIDS, have it seriously as a baby and when they grow up, but the mother will begin to feel guilt as a result of that. The family will see the negative consequences of that promiscuity and it may make a number of people over the coming years begin to realize that there are negative consequences and maybe they should adjust their behavior.”

Wow. 

Dave's enthusiasm for AIDS babies makes me wish I believed in hell, cause I would certainly find a special place in it for that guy.  It's the word "hoping" that really put it over the top for me.  Scumbag.

Reporting on the gay marriage debates in Hawaii right now, lesbian activist 'Keori' sums it up neatly:

"You know, it gets really tiresome to be called diseased and a pedophile and a rapist and an abomination and a threat to America three dozen times in one day. It infuriates me to hear that yes, heterosexuals have special rights (at least they admitted it finally!) and that is how it should be because The Big Book of Bronze Age Fairy Tales says so. To hear little old ladies screaming that they would rather see their grandchildren commit suicide than "be part of that disgusting, filthy, evil lifestyle", isn't even remotely amusing anymore."

Tell me about it, sister -- today's Roundup is virtually joke-free!  Surely we can't end on such a depressing note?  Isn't there some ridiculous sign of gay hope out there?  Something to prove most people aren't humourless, repressed wingnut bigots?  Oh wait...

THE MOHAIR PENIS SWEATER THONG!  Result!

In reporting on lesbian outrage over some moronic TV ads from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, NYC blogger Joe.My.God. made a funny:

Q:  How many semi-naked PETA protesters does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  Zero. Semi-naked PETA protesters have never changed anything.

Hey-yo!  It's easy to make fun of PETA but still, you gotta love them -- no matter how badly they embarrass themselves ("Sea kittens???" The fuck?), they just keep plugging away, standing up for the animals.

We still need that kind of tenacity in the gay rights movement -- sure we've achieved a lot in Canada but witch-hunts can pop up with ease. Meanwhile, our American friends face a well-oiled machine of hatred that organizes big marches against gay rights, compares us to murderers and will never ever compromise.  As for the rest of the world? Don't get me started!

But tenacity wins:  just ask Ken and Jack Saunders-Waller or Washington Post reporter Jose Antonio Vargas, whose feature on gay bloggers highlighted the awesome Pam Spaulding. Her "House Blend" blog is required daily reading -- she's smart, she's personable and she just keeps plugging away, standing up for queers-of-colour in particular, the human race in general.

PETA could take a few lessons from Pam, even as I'm forced to admit that their latest tactic has certainly caught my eye.  Jamie Bamber?  I thought the idea was to make me not want meat?  Hey-yo!

Like us, the US gay activists quoted in The Globe and Mail were delighted by the Oscar speeches by Sean Penn and Dustin Lance Black:

"Many gay advocates are hoping the win adds momentum to their cause as the California Supreme Court prepares to consider the legality of Proposition 8, which banned gay marriage in the state."

Me too but, at the risk of being Debbie Downer, let's remember that Hollywood isn't that influential.  Just ask Rupert Everett:

A solid profile in the New York Times recognizes that Everett never become the movie star he should have been. While it's delightful that actors like Penn, Tom Hanks, William Hurt, Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Hilary Swank have won Oscars for playing gay roles, actual gay winners are rare or, in the case of our brilliant actor Ian McKellen, they lose out to Roberto fucking Benigni.  Just sayin'!

But true progress, of course, is always slow -- while we honour the memory of Canadian writer Scott Symonds, remember that he had to flee the country in 1967 with his younger lover.  Now there's a movie waiting to be made!

And progress is bumpy -- last week, we praised another Canadian literary legend Margaret Atwood for spurning a Dubai book festival for censoring a gay-themed book.  Now it turns out we were all conned by some publicist.  I'm still glad Atwood stood up for us but I would not be the guy who crossed her -- dude, her book's called "Bodily Harm" for a reason!

And progress is strange -- check out this past Saturday's Scrabble Word of the Day: 

So who knows where all this is headed -- let's just relax and smile on the way, preferably with a soundtrack from Royksopp:

As spokesmen for gay rights go, I'm not sure I would've chosen Sean Penn. The ex-Mr. Madonna can be smug and oddly tone-deaf sometimes ("Butt boy?"  Really?) but his perfomance as Harvey Milk was masterful and duly recognized at last night's Oscars.  While his acceptance speech didn't match Tom Hanks' classy and powerful tribute to his gay teachers, Penn went to bat for us and his opening line was an instant classic:

Oh well, we can pick on her all we like but since she's dating 20-year-old underwear model Justin Gaston, Miley gets the last laugh:

Sigh.  Now if you'll excuse me, I'm downloading the "Slumdog Millionaire" soundtrack and reading "The Communist Manifesto."  Thanks, Sean!