Although the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia is tomorrow, May 17, this evening will see a rally take place at Grand Parade.

This year's theme is Our Bodies, Our Health, Our Rights. Speakers at the rally, which kicks off at 6pm, include The Raging Grannies; Gabe Saulnier, from Healing Our Nations; and many more individuals and groups speaking on everything from trans rights to the gay blood ban.

For more information, check out the Facebook event page.

Keeping in the same vein, prideHealth and the Aids Coalition will present Health Impacts of Homophobia and Transphobia at the IWK Health Centre. It features a panel discussion with Jacqueline Gahagan, from Dalhousie School of Health and Human Performance; Ellen Taylor, with the Atlantic Centre of Excellence for Women's Health; Sheena Jamieson, from the YouthProject; and Chris Aucoin, with the AIDS Coalition of Nova Scotia.

For more info, check out prideHealth's poster.

Rene Ross posted a heartfelt message on her Facebook wall last night. 

She will no longer operate as Stepping Stone's executive director.

She wrote:

"As many of you know, there have been significant challenges with funding that began last September and hopes for other funding did not come through. Moreover, the remaining staff are delivering critical programming that program users depend on for their health and safety. Those programs must be protected at all costs. I am hopeful that the savings the organization will accumulate by eliminating the ED position will allow the staff to carry on with their crucial work."

The news of Ross's departure was featured in this morning's radio and print media reports, including the Chronicle Herald and the CBC, the latter having reported that Ross quit, but it is unclear whether she quit or her position was eliminated due to the aforementioned budget cuts. Halifax Media Co-op's Hilary Beaumont posted a well-researched article noting that Stepping Stone has undergone major changes due to shifting and unsecured funding at the organization.  

As ED, Ross was very vocal and publicly minded, often appearing on local radio and television, as well as online, including a post for the HuffPo. In the meantime, Ross states that she "will continue to support the staff and program users and will provide any support required by the Board in this challenging time." She goes on to say, "Stepping Stone is my heart, the staff are the amongst the best I have ever worked with, and the program users have taught me more than I could ever dream of learning in a university or from a book – because those impacted by policy are the true experts for change."

In collaboration with the NSCAD Queer Collective, Halifax Pride recently put out a call for submissions as organizers are looking for the 2013 Halifax Pride visual artist. The artist's work will be exhibited during this summer’s Queer Acts Theatre Festival, be featured in the 2013 Pride Guide, as well as on tickets to various events during Halifax Pride. The deadline for submissions is May 15.

For eligibility criteria and more, check out Halifax Pride’s guidelines on their website.

As well as looking for artists, Halifax Pride is also looking for submissions for events for this year’s Pride Guide, as well as entries to the parade and booth for vendors and organizations at the Community Fair.

For more information on all this and more, check out Halifax Pride’s website.

There is a strange echo this morning.

One year ago today, I woke up to a radio telling me about a death in my city. I am not a callous person, but I am, unfortunately, somewhat used to hearing about violence. But this one unnerved me for some reason. Maybe it was because it was on a street that I frequent, that I used to live near and that my friends still live on.

And then I got up and went online and read both rumours and reports. People I knew were talking about mourning, but not saying for whom. The violence was hitting close to home.

And then I saw his name, everywhere.

Raymond.

One year later, once again, I see Raymond’s name all over my Facebook feed, in news stories, in blog posts. I hear his name on the radio once again, and on television. But this time, he is smiling.

One year later, as I write this, there are people on Gottingen Street remembering Raymond. They are trying to remember everything that happened before he died, because it’s too difficult to think of the how and the why. Because those things don’t make sense.

Right now, I would rather think of him in those ways. I would rather see Raymond’s smiling face than walk over and around where they found him. I would rather think of the good he did than the unfortunate way he died. I’d rather remember all the people who came out, the hundreds who sat silently in prayer and reflection, who spoke quietly and who sang loudly one year ago today.

I will remember good things. Because that’s what he would want.

Later that evening, hundreds of people would stand on the street where he was found, remembering who he was and what he stood for.

In light of the first anniversary of that event, Halifax Pride is asking Haligonians to remember Taavel by placing rainbow flags in their windows, an echo of last year’s happening.

“In organizing this we weren't looking to do something that was a media event, or an event at all really,” says Adam Reid, Halifax Pride's communications coordinator. “We want to give people a way to mark the day, express their grief, celebrate Raymond's life and hopefully find some comfort. People were so touched by the number of flags that sprung up around town last year following Raymond's life, we wanted to replicate that moment and the comfort it brought people.”

Reid notes that there will also be gatherings held at Menz Bar and The Company House between 5 and 7pm, “so people won't feel alone in their grief.” He expects that “many people will just want a hug and someone to talk to.”

When asked about the ongoing and much-delayed trial for Andre Denny, who stands as the accused in Taavel’s death, Reid says, “We're really just focused on celebrating and remembering the friend we lost.”

You can find out more at the Facebook event page.

Musician Ryan MacGrath may be living in Austria, but his music has a global audience. This time, it's heading down to Los Angeles, via the webseries "EastSiders."

The series tells the story of a couple dealing with infidelity and is the brainchild of Kit Williamson. Williamson went to Kickstarter for funding and found many a fan. So much so that he wrote about the immense outpouring of support at The Huffington Post.

One fan who really liked the series was MacGrath. "We contacted the writer/director to show support," he says via email. "I gave him some links to my music, and he really liked my stuff! A couple of months later, I got an email from him saying that he would like to use two songs for the show."

Kudos and congrats to MacGrath. The series is due to go live on logotv.com on April 23. 

After a fun-filled evening where a student group resurrected Halifax's queer history with a party at The Turret, the NSCAD Queer Collective is holding a roundtable discussion on safe, queer and trans spaces, as well as the challenges faced by those looking to create those spaces, from both internal and external forces. The event takes place this evening, Tuesday, April 2.

In an email to Down East, a spokesperson for the collective said, "The discussion will be a round table on the concepts of safe space, queer space and community accountability. Together we'll talk about the rhetoric of 'safe space' and what challenges we face as a community in trying to construct safer queer spaces. We have several local organizations lined up to speak about the work they do to create safer spaces for queer and trans* folk!"

An example of the internal challenges that these spaces face is represented in a historical project put on by the collective. During The Turret's heyday, local artist Rand Gaynor painted a mural, an image that certain members of the community took umbrage at, and covered it in graffiti. The NSCAD Queer Collective has brought back the mural, along with the graffiti. The mural's resurrection is also part of the Khyber's 125th anniversary.

For more information on the roundtable discussion, check out the Facebook event page. 

Halifax Pride's annual Fancy Gay Dress Party is almost here.

The event this year will feature Elizabeth Chiu as host for the evening, along with Ian Mullan and Quartet La Corde providing entertainment. The party is a fundraiser for Halifax Pride's upcoming events throughout the summer. For more info, check out the FB page.

The Youth Project is gearing up for a great fundraiser this coming May.

Called Strike out Homophobia, the event will help raise funds for the Youth Project's various services, outreach and education programs, and more.

You can sign up either as a team or as an individual if you are looking to participate and raise funds through social media forums and more. You can also sponsor individuals and teams.

For more information, check out the Youth Project's website.

I would argue that people don’t talk enough about sex.

You may roll your eyes at that statement, thinking that we, as a society, do nothing but talk about sex. It’s everywhere, on TV, in ads, in magazines, on the internet. Especially on the internet.

But in those instances, sex is viewed as a perfect and pre-made thing.

I recently read a great op-ed by Mark O’Connell about anal sex, entitled "About Fucking Time: Flushing Out the Shitty Side of Bottoming." In it he talks about how men who have sex with men tend not to talk about anal sex, or rather, everything that is necessary for having an experience that is comfortable for everyone involved.

And while you may have rolled your eyes earlier, I imagine you’re possibly crinkling your nose now.

O’Connell’s essay was posted on a gay porn site called Night Charm. (That site is NFSW, but you can read the original post on his personal blog here.) O’Connell brings up the concept of how gay men can “rely too heavily upon entertainment and fantasy, like the scant media devoted to gay male sex which unrealistically insinuates that we’re all Spontaneous Bottoms – that is, we can easily drop trou, whenever, wherever, and open up for some good clean fun.”

And it’s true. Watching sex on the screen (whether it be film, television or computer) is watching an antiseptic recreation that is edited within an inch of its coital life. And it could be argued that it is even more common within pornography. This is not to say that pornography is inherently bad, or exploitative or misrepresentative. It may not be pornography’s role to be a teacher, since it is often, by definition, a form of fantasy. Can we legitimately expect fantasies to be teachers in real-life situations?

I recently had a conversation with a friend who wants to be a better bottom. But in his past relationship, his ex expected him to be a spontaneous bottom after watching hours of highly edited pornography where he just sees the entry point happening: and whomp! There it is! Inside the butt.

My poor friend soon found himself not wanting to have sex with his partner, even though he very much wanted to please his partner, and be pleased at the same time.

How did this happen? Because he and his partner didn’t have the tools to talk about how to get ready for this type of sex. Or if they did, they may not feel comfortable in doing so, which is even more unfortunate. And this is where the problem lies: talking about sex is important.

No, it’s not easy. Having discussions around sex and sexual health are important things that queer individuals, no matter their gender (or the gender(s) that they are attracted to) often have a hard time doing.

Imagine if our sex lives were automobiles. For those of us who do drive, we know that it takes time to learn how to drive. But how can you drive if you don’t know how to take proper care of your car, both inside and out? You can know how to put the key in the ignition, but if your car won’t turn over, how do you fix it? You can’t just ram the key in hoping all of a sudden it will turn over and be ready to go. If you get a ding or a scratch, what do you do then? Does your car have less value all of a sudden? No. It doesn’t.

Another conversation I recently had on this same topic was with someone who works in sexual health. I have been sexually active since I was a teenager. I grew up and came out during the AIDS crisis of the late '80s and early '90s and even worked as a peer counsellor during my early 20s. As a journalist in my 30s, I read stories and do research about sexual health, and yet, I thought I knew enough about sexual practices to feel good about it. But after talking to him for an hour, I soon realized I didn’t know enough. It was humbling. And to be honest, a bit scary. But I now knew more, and that overtook any anxiety I had. Because I knew what my options were, and which ones would work for me.

With a recent outbreak of syphilis amongst men who have sex with men in the Halifax region, it’s important to educate oneself. The message by healthcare practitioners is simple: “Get tested.” And that is an effective way to help manage the situation. And it is important. But taking care of sexual health is not like taking care of other forms of personal health. It does not end with testing and possible medication-based treatments.

In a story in The Atlantic, John-Manuel Androite discusses how sociocultural stigma amongst gay men can lead them to make choices and take chances that can affect their health. Androite writes:

Gregory M. Herek, a professor of psychology at the University of California at Davis, and an internationally recognized authority on prejudice against lesbians and gay men, hate crimes and anti-gay violence, and AIDS-related stigma, said in an interview, "Certainly in the past, everybody was brought up with the attitude that homosexuality was wrong, a sickness, sin, that everybody who was gay or lesbian was a bad person. So being raised in that it's almost inevitable that almost all people have accepted or believed it."

But not everyone accepts or believes it. In fact fewer than ever do, and they have much to teach. "What I think is amazing," said Herek, "is how many people are doing fine and are mentally healthy, and leading whole and productive lives. How do they do that? Given all they're up against, how do they come out of it? The answer is resilience. If they've overcome this internalized self-stigma, they have more resources for overcoming this psychological distress."

Androite goes on to discuss a study by Ron Stall in which a large majority of men who did deal with “multiple psychosocial health problems” did not engage in what were various forms of “high-risk”* activities.

Stall said, "We were able to show that guys who do the best job of resolving internalized homophobia [or self-stigma] are the least likely to have current victimization, substance abuse and compulsive [high-risk] sex."

He said such findings demonstrate that, to be truly effective, HIV prevention and substance abuse interventions need to build on gay men's resilience, to be "strength-based," rather than deficit-based. "We're so focused on risk factors to the point that we forget about resilience," he said. "It seems to me a smarter way to go would be to look at the guys who are thriving in spite of the adversities, how they pulled that off, see what the lessons learned are, and apply that to the interventions we already use and have developed.

When we talk about sex, we need to know how to talk about it. Not just in terms of orifices and possible STIs, but emotions. Sex can be a highly emotionally charged act. Talking about the emotions that happen during sex or lead to sex -- including certain types of sex -- can be one way of limiting negative consequences for those involved. Consequences that come from acts that many people simply want to have the autonomy to engage in.    

And so I go back to butts, or rather butt sex. Or even any form of sex.

Discussions don’t happen when shame is involved, shame around our bodies and our own lack of knowledge. This is what removes choices, informed choices, from the lives of individuals.

It is no longer enough to just tell people to practise safer sex. Studies show this. People who work in sexual health fields know this. What is becoming evident is that it is important to give safe spaces for people to ask questions and find viable answers. Self-education leads to self-empowerment, which leads to stronger individuals and stronger communities. Communities of people who care and are strong. And who are resilient.

*Sidenote: I believe it is important that when discussing the choices that individuals make, notions of blame, stigma, shame or any form of negative connotations do NOT help in the discussion. A person’s choices are his or her own, and although they may have consequences, it is not for others to hold them accountable against their ideas or judgments. What is an acceptable risk or "high risk" to one individual may not be for another.